Raising a strong woman!


The following is an actual conversation that took place at 4pm PST today.

Beemer man: Can I help?

Me: I’m just waiting on the cap to cool so I can put some anti-freeze in. My car overheated.

Beemer Man: Do you know what you’re doing?

Me: Sure, thank you. It’s happened before, but I think I have a leak this time, so I’ll just try to get home.

Beemer Man: (clearly conflicted on what to do here)…Um, can I stick around, just in case?

Me: (Smiling) Sure….

Now at this point, he does help get the cap off, because my hands don’t work well…I pour the anti-freeze in….he waits. I start the car, pull it out to check for leaks. There is one….

Me: Well, it’ll get me home. I’ll go to Autozone for some repair tools….

Beemer Man: That is so refreshing. You’re not from around here….

Me: No sir, but I really appreciate you. Thank you. You take care of yourself….

Feminism….Ladies, be honest. Sometimes it’s US that has the agenda.

You can’t be a living being today, and not be aware of the Feminist movement sweeping the nation, and while I won’t comment on all the nuances involved, I do want to take a moment and defend men. Little Sisters, we have enough BOYS in this society. The ones who just make a bunch of babies, brag on it, then never support them, OR the ones who are perfectly happy lounging around while we do all the work….Commenting back and forth on my status (I posted this on my Timeline), I had made the distinction between actual sexism, per se, and a man, just trying to do the right thing. This situation, reminds of an ongoing debate Merrill and I have about asking for help. “You know, it’s okay to ask for, and accept help” but “help” is a weakness to me! My momma taught me that! Feminism…I don’t think it means, what you think it means.

I don’t like Caitlyn Jenner, but not because I have some strong hatred for all things transgender. No, I don’t like Caitlyn Jenner because she’s stood on the shoulders of great women, and stole, what rightly belonged to others. You don’t get to be a man all of your life, then come in, and pretend you know all there is to know about woman. Women have been greatly disenfranchised for thousands of years. We’ve been bought and sold like property, relegated to the regions that even dogs didn’t have to lie, beaten, abused, raped, assaulted (without intervention mind you), and it took a Constitutional Amendment to give us the right to vote, so really, women haven’t always had the power we enjoy today. I remember visiting a dealership one beautiful Saturday afternoon, and having the Salesman tell me, “Tell ya what. Why don’t you go get your husband and come back? Then we can talk about a car for you.” Screw him! So Caitlyn Jenner doesn’t get to come in, and claim have all we’ve fought for and rightly deserve. With that said..










I’m not ashamed to admit that there have been times when I’ve used my wiles to attract the attention of a man for my own selfish gain. I’m a cute woman…LOL, a fact I’ve used to exploit the weaker sex many times. Sanchez and I used to go to the club without a dime between us, because we knew, that drinks would flow aplenty once the guys saw us. I mean you don’t get to show your boobs then get mad when a man looks at them, and while I did digress, it does bring up a good point. It is OKAY for a man to help us. Now, if I’m trying to open a pickle jar, and Merrill comes up and takes it away from me, then yes, I’ll get a case of the ass, but if he offers because he wants to help, there’s no shame in saying, “Yes please” and while I’m still working on my “weakness” issue, I am getting better at being gracious. I’m afraid that the Little sisters of the world today, and many of the men that follow them, think that a man offering his help, is a sign that the man perceives her as weak. He does not. He simply wants to help….We do have issues to iron out. We need to discuss abortion, assaults and the subsequent light sentences that go with that, the touches, the promotions, the equality, but the one thing, we as women need to leave completely alone is this ideal that a man is being sexist. I mean, some ARE, but…I just think his momma taught him right, and for the record, my Princess knows how to change a tire, and her Anti-Freeze as well…that’s cause her DADDY taught her right. Feminism.…we don’t need to be such rude ass bitches to every well intentioned man who tries to make sure we’re okay. Don’t muddy the waters by trying to make a mess out of a non-issue. Unless of course it’s Caitlyn Jenner, and then I would leave her on the side of the road. She doesn’t have the mammaries to call herself a woman just yet. Let her get some hair on her boobs, before she tries to come in, and teach the youngsters how to be strong….I don’t care if you don’t like that, I don’t like her. Feminism does have it’s place, but not as a pink whoha hat on the head of an obnoxious woman, who probably hasn’t been laid for a decade….Feminism is that beautiful aura a woman has when she’s confident in her own abilities….Men like confidence….Gotta go….tomorrow is a special day in history…and I gotta get my rest. Right after I get Merrill to fix my radiator hose. Come on….you didn’t really think I’d do it…did you? Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Friday.


Who Me?

Awww, look at her.
Awww, look at her.











Ya know, if you’d teach your kids to beat some ASS, you might not have that problem“. Ronnie to another mommy.

Who Me?



In a moment of weakness this morning I judged the clothing of another child, but not in the way you think. I like to talk to the little girls, while they’re lined up to go to class. Today was Picture Day, and each child was dressed in their Picture Day best. From the ironed shirts with ties, to the adorable little dresses, each parent, myself included, had made sure their child looked their best, for posterity sake. As the little darlings were showing me their shoes (Everyday, each little girl shows me her shoes), I made it a point to compliment every child on their choice of outfits. I said to one little girl, whom happens to be the adversary of Duchess, “My, That’s a beautiful dress and headband. Mommy has good taste in Burberry“, and with that I moved on, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, “WTH? You dressed a 4yr old in Burberry?“. Who Me? Yes…YOU…and I’ll tell you something else, that Burberry dress was Hella Awesome. I was Jelly!

I talked to one of the mommies about the Burberry matching outfit, and she told me that the kids have to be careful how they dress here, because it’s an important function of how they’ll be judged worthy by their peers. Sigh…I get it. I do…bully’s live here too. They’re like cockroaches, they’ll survive any climate. The same mom told me that her son, was bullied by a kid at school for his choice of NFL teams….Okay, now you have my attention…”The schools aren’t doing anything about it here, because of who the parents are“…Now you REALLY have my attention. I responded,”Ya know, if you’d teach your kid to beat someone’s ASS, you might not have that problem“….but the truth is peer pressure, and it’s subsequent consequence, bullying, has been around as long as the clap, but there is one small aspect to peer pressure we’re all missing, and that’s the Individual Mandate that dictates, “No one can MAKE you do anything, you must give permission“, so parents need to set the TONE don’t they?  That sounds familiar.

We had social boundaries in Germany too. I was, at one point, made painfully aware that I, nor my father, had enough military ass, to be worthy of anything more than a hook-up….and while that hurt, I swore my kids would not suffer the same fate. It does beg the question though, had my mother affirmed me a little more, would I have been so easily manipulated? I don’t know the answer to that, never will, but I know that in all things parenthood, I have tried to instill a sense of confidence, self-assuredness, and self-reliance in my children, and what I couldn’t do…I paid for. My son is a 3rd degree Black Belt (never get tired of writing that), Duchess is a two-time pageant winner, The Princesses are successful, strong, business women who take little to no sh*t from their men (mommy pride)…and it doesn’t stop there. I’ve told all my children that they can come to me about anything….we’ll talk about anything…Daily I tell them that I love them, I mean, I may not like them much, but I do love them. I try to Affirm and Empower, because they’re going to be without me one day, they’re going to have influence over others, they’re going to need to have a strong foundation to make good choices, and they know that no matter WHAT….I will always be here, I will always have their backs, I will always DEFEND them…til death do us part.

I’m not advocating school uniforms, compliant haircuts, thrift store shoes. Hey, if you have the money, I mean really have the money and aren’t just trying to keep up with Ronnie, buy your kid whatever…but don’t do it so they’ll fit in….because that doesn’t teach self-worth…they’ll spend the rest of their lives just trying to impress others…..No, instead bestow a sense of pride in your children, compassion, empathy, service, heart, home, hearth, hand…(Scouts)…those values clothe, even if they find themselves naked….We set the Tone…We ARE the Example….you want your child to continue where you left off, not wander the desert for 40 years trying to find themselves…..Who Me? Yeah YOU. You can’t avoid bullies, drugs, alcohol, SEX, rock and roll, nor a good ass whoppin, BUT even if they screw up….even if they stray from the way you raised them….they’ll come back…because you gave them a foundation. Gotta go. Ya know, Duchess does have a pair of purple Ugg’s like mine….but I got them for $8 at a rummage sale, and really, I don’t care so much about the fashion, as much as the reason for it. Guess I need to take a step back and clean my own house right? Shut it….like I always say….You MUST do as I say, never as I do, because I am soooooooo NOT a Role Model. I’m Nefarious, and there can be only one. Be Blessed

Remember you set The Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Thursday.

No Judgement











Oh don’t get this mess twisted. I am NOT a California mom. I WILL beat your ass!” Ronnie to Duchess

No Judgement…..okay, just a little judgement.

It’s interesting to note, that I don’t know whether it’s because I’m away from my core support, I’m frustrated, or that it’s just the real me coming out, but I’ve found myself, reverting to what my true personality style.  Meh, probably a mixture of all the above. I am vulgar….I am severe….I am offensive! Deal with it. I don’t begrudge California mom’s a single thing in the world. I mean, it’s not like I LOVE my kids more, they love their kids less…it’s just that we have very different parenting styles. I’ll belch in front of my kids, tell my son to suck it up, smack my daughter in the mouth, whereas, I’ve not seen much of that out here….I dunno, they may be more cultured here….HEY, I’ve never, EVER said I was cultured….I am, for all Intensive Purposes (I know) a Ozarkian mom….a Beer drinking, Brat eating, Midwest Farmer’s Daughter, and Gosh Darn it, people like me…or they hate me…there is no in between…No Judgement… We all judge…whether we mean to or not.

I was watching a Cali mom, um, negotiate with her toddler this morning, and I KNOW my face (Becky) belied what I was thinking. You don’t negotiate with a toddler, but I can’t judge that….Coming back from Merrill Family Vacation last August, Duchesses decided she was hungry, and started the slow clap chant of, “I want McDonalds, I want McDonalds, I want McDonalds”….but I told her, “No…we’re tired of eating there“….”I WANT McDonalds (it was nap time), I WANT McDonalds (then a song), I want McDonalds, Donald, Donald, I want McDonald“, desperate I looked at Merrill and said, “For the love of all things holy, find a FREAKING McDonalds“….so see? I’m not much better…but the toddler this morning, clearly aware of her positioning in the family, held the upper hand, and the more the toddler held on to her guns, the more embarrassed the mom became, and before we all knew it, the toddler was doing exactly what she wanted….”Well, you could have saved us all a lot of heartache if you’d let her do IT” I thought….but that was wrong….sorta.

I was standing in Duchess’s new ASP with a brand new step mom. She was tall, beautiful, young woman, of professional stature. She had the aura of someone who wanted to be a good mom, but her new step son, did NOT want to leave just yet. I walked in and said, “Let’s go Duchess“….”NO! I’m busy” she responded. “Well that’s too bad. Guess I’ll drink your smoothie in the car“…“OH! I’m coming mommy” and she grabbed her bag and made her way to the door….”I’ll have to remember that” the new mom said to me, “I can’t get him out of here“….”Yes well, I’ve been a mom for 28 years…you’ll figure it out. I promise…..BTW, you’re doing a great job. Just being here, shows him you care. He’ll come around” and with that, I walked out. See, I’ve seen this new trend on social media, in which moms get it up, for shaming other moms. That’s not right. IDGAF who you are, being a mommy is the hardest job in the world. It is the ONLY job where you’re exhausted at the end of the day, you don’t get paid, and frankly, the guilt you feel ALL THE TIME about being a good mommy weights almost as much as the new Fall Line LV luggage I saw at the store. Mom’s should be encouraging each other, supporting each other. I don’t want read how you catered your 18 month old’s party with fancy ice-cube decorations….I want to know how you got rid of his cough, how you get them to eat anything other than chicken nuggets, and please for the love of Dior, how did you get her past McDonalds? No Judgment folks, but come on….we judge, because we base our worth as a human on how well we run our families, and in this household, chaos rules…in this house, we yell, like a LOT! I mean, I hate that, but it just is what it is. I can’t be that bad, because my son holds my hand when we cross the street, Duchess snuggles up to me, Merrill couldn’t wind his ass, or scratch his watch without me….so as Peg Bundy as I am….and I AM Peg Bundy…we’re doing okay. As a final thought, I actually told my son today, “Son. Watch those hugs from girls. It’s a different time now. Girls are brutal, and they will lie to save themselves”…..”How do I know if a girl is lying mom?” he asked me….”If her lips are moving son…if her lips are moving, she’s lying“. Don’t judge me. That boy is my life….I WILL kill for him. I’ll kill YOU, and anyone else who wants to step…No Judgment….See, you’re judging me a little right now, but you know who I am….and I don’t care. Let’s hold each other up…this is a hard life friends…..it’s better when you have help. Be Blessed.

Remember you set The Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Tuesday.



Happy Birthday Sanchez

My A-Team
My A-Team










Happy Birthday Sanchez. No other woman will ever love you like I do….


Aunt Ronnie, will you tell us a story about our mom when she was young?

Sure boys. Come, gather….”

Your mother was a beautiful woman, quite but dangerous. Behind those lovely brown eyes, stood stories full of heartbreak and joy, but she had to feel comfortable with you, before she’d share her treasured wisdom. Unfortunately, your mom and I did not get off to a good start. She was new in class, and asked if anyone had a pencil. Not realizing that she was entirely serious, I may have made some smart ass remark that earned a target on my back, but the Ronnie back then, was not the Ronnie you know today, so I didn’t take her very seriously….okay that’s the same me…..but I didn’t really worry about her ire, for you see, I don’t know her. Several weeks later, when your mom won a dancing contest in a local club, I approached her and congratulated her on her win….”Yeah, whatever bitch” was all she could say to me. Hmm, that steptoitness, is what earned her my respect, a fact I am SURE she didn’t give a single DAMN about. Happy Birthday Sanchez….did I ever tell you about the time your mom taught me, a little white girl, how to dance, and saved our farm?

So as all good stories need a bond of friendship, your mom did eventually warm up to me. I confided in her one day, that I didn’t want to “Shake it like a white girl” (a dance made popular in the 80’s with the advent of ‘It Takes Two”), that I wanted to learn how to dance, so I could win some money to feed my hungry family, and pay the rent. She took pity on me, and why wouldn’t she? She was a good person, so she created a schedule, bought some studio time, and painstakingly taught me the “Cabbage Patch“. She knew, that if I was going to win that contest, I’d have to keep it simple, for my dance moves, were indeed “seizureish” at best. Every day, we were in the studio facing the mirror, sweating to the 80’s, and everyday, I was becoming more and more frustrated, because I just couldn’t get it.

About that same time, a man had visited the family, and said he’d pay our bills, if I’d marry him. He was a fat man, sweaty, bald with a round belly that reminded me of Ed Lover and Dr. Dre. He’d lick his lips as he looked at me, with sin in his eyes…I told him, I was trying to win a contest to pay the rent, but he laughed. I was a white girl, I wasn’t going to win any dances he told me, but I’d make a fine wife, good birthing hips to have his fat, ugly babies. One day, Sanchez bumped into him, and he offered her more money if she could make me lose the contest, but Sanchez wouldn’t hear of it. She hated him…later in the studio, she told me, “You’re gonna win that contest Ronnie. If I have to kill you….you’re going to win it”….and so she had me practice more….she’d stand behind me, making my hips move, to the swaying of my arms, and if I cried, she’d slap me hard….”Damnit Ronnie. You want to be a fat man’s WIFE?” I DIDN’T….so I worked harder than I’ve ever worked in my life….

The day of the contest arrived. I didn’t feel ready, but I had to try. After all she’d done for me, I had to give it my all, to at least show her what she meant to me. Right before the contest, she gave me a Milli Vanilli CD, and told me I had earned it….and to dance like no one was watching, but someone was watching, and as I made my way to the floor, he jumped out from the dark, and grabbed Sanchez from behind and said to me, “If you ever want to see her alive again, you’ll lose that contest little girl. You know what I mean?“….I did. I had two choices….Win that contest so we could pay the rent, or throw it, and be Bubba’s wife….As she sat in the bleachers, she watched me walk out onto the floor, and with great courage, she stood up and said, “Give him HELL Ron. I got this” and with that, she Judo chopped the man in the face, then when he bent over, she slammed his head into the chairs in front of her. Being Germany, and a club, all the GI’s in attendance sensing a fight, stood up, and started throwing fisticuffs at anyone around them….Sanchez ran down the bleachers….and as the music started, she stood right in front of me, as “Lean on Me” by Club Neveau played over the speakers…and she started to dance….coaching me…as I stood transfixed on her….Slowly, I brought my hands up and made a fist in front of me, I then began to rotate them, as I swayed my hips to, “Some…times in your life, we all have pain….we all have sorrow, but if you are strong, you’ll know that there’s always tomorrow”, then as the LEAN ON ME part began, I GOT it….I got it and I danced my ass off like no one you’ve ever seen…and I WON that contest….

Later, as I collected the money, the police arrived to find that Bubba was really an Ex-boyfriend of your moms. He was trying to make her jealous….He was never going to marry me, he said. He just wanted her to see him with another woman, and make her want him, and as he was walked out the door, we could hear him say, “I would have gotten away with it, if it hadn’t been for her Judo Chop“. So you see boys, you mom saved me….she helped me win the contest that paid my rent, and saved my farm…..She gave me a new life, with new freedoms, and I’ll forever be grateful to her. Now, run along. Aunt Ronnie’s beer is getting cold. Good night boys. Next year, I’ll tell you the story of the time your mom saved the Queen….Happy Birthday to my very best friend, of 30yrs. I love you Boo. Thanks for saving my life…you mean the world to me. Happy Birthday Sanchez.…may 39 be better around this time, than it has been the last 9 years. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Monday.


Daddy Didn’t Come Back












Impaction, “The condition of being or process of becoming impacted, especially of feces in the intestine.”

LOL, I suppose that’s TRUE.

Impaction…..It’s not always a pleasant experience.

Life can’t always be beautiful. I mean, we go through some pretty sh*tty times, usually at the hands of others. The age-old argument for me then, is if God doesn’t want to violate the Free Will of another, could He at least protect me from their damage? After all, what about my Free Will? That’s not to say I haven’t had many positive people in my life, some very kind souls who didn’t really INSPIRE me, but their deeds, left a lasting IMPACT upon me, and there within lies the difference. We can freely float into each others lives, but we don’t have to inspire, to impact. Daddy Didn’t Come Back….I probably owe much of who I am today due to what he did rather than any Inspirational Tutor God put in my life. Some of these are hard to read….don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I remember when my dad walked out, the first time. I mean, I don’t think he got into a big fight with my mom, he didn’t storm out the house and slam the door, he just walked out….like one would leaving for the grocery store….and never came back. Maybe I was too young to understand the dynamics of my parents relationship, maybe there was some Nefariousness going on that was none of my business, maybe, maybe, maybe….but I loved that man! God, I….FREAKING…..Loved him, and he threw me away, like a used hamburger wrapper. When he and mom got back together and my home was complete again, he DID IT AGAIN….only this time, the consequences would prove more severe. I spent the rest of my life hating men, and not trusting them….dumping them before they could dump me….playing the cat and mouse game of “will they or won’t they” I couldn’t take being abandoned again….

A child, asking God for things, no child should ask, I would sit on the porch and beg GOD to bring him back…. I’d be good I swore to Him…..I would stop fighting with my sister…..If He brought my daddy back, I would be the best kid He’s ever seen….but no, Daddy didn’t come back….So when I dropped my guard with my HS boyfriend, and HE did it too….like I wasn’t good enough…like I was TRASH….I snapped and something in me rose up…”I told you so” the little girl inside my castle mocked me…”when are you going to learn, all men are bad?”…..I became apathetic to their feelings….I didn’t care if they were hurt….it only pissed me off more, because their crying was a sign of weakness to me, like somehow they DESERVED to be hurt. I destroyed every beautiful thing in my life….don’t believe me? Ask my first husband….My relationship with God was destroyed as well, because He didn’t bring my daddy back. Really? I’m supposed to fathom a Fatherly Loving God? Because really, in my life, my daddy left me, and I didn’t need God….I was doing just fine on my own, thank you very much! It wasn’t until Merrill said something to me one day, that I realized exactly how terrified I was. ” I’m not LEAVING you” he said as I complained about his travels. “I’m going away on a business trip. There’s a difference“….and I knew right then, that if we were going to make this marriage work, I’d have to start trusting him….I still have issues with trust….but I’m getting there…slowly.

Your Submissions:

Putting out the call for guest posters, I asked who had the greatest impact on your life….You didn’t disappoint! Some of these are very hard to read….

  1. I’ve had several teachers who had an impact on my life: my 3rd grade teacher, 5th grade teacher and my 7/8 math teacher. My third grade teacher was strict, but one time, she brought me a cutting from her night-blooming cirrus plant. I can’t recall why, but I loved her dearly for it. I don’t remember feeling that way about her before. My fifth grade teacher just always made me feel special. I’m friends with her on Facebook today! My 7/8 math teacher made me believe that I could actually do math well. I thought of her a lot when I was a fifth grade math teacher for five years. Lori Lyn Farquher….Teachers are in an amazing position to shape the life of a child. Thank you for all you guys do.
  2. I worked for a rich woman. I was the cleaning lady. They had our church family over for Christmas party. (we attended the same church). I was treated and called on like a maid rather than one of them. A man named Loren g. Decided to stand by me as I did dishes and helped me finish them. They were many. To him I was more than, “The Help”. I was worth the conversation. He didn’t know it but I was quietly crying from humiliation when he walked in. I wiped my tears with out him noticing. he picked me up from the mud of a pious woman who had no regard for me though I cleaned the piss off her walls from her bratty boys and I often washed her floors by hand so they would shine like tables. One day I wanted to ask for a raise. The same day she offered me 8$ an hour vs the 10$ I was getting. I was already being ripped off. Her response was ugly. But in all of that experience there was Loren. A godly man who showed me he cared about me enough to help my dignity. He wasn’t her husband. He was a church friend and also knew Me from church And evidently my brother. Everyone else said hi and thank you. He said,- “Hi Becky how are you. How about I help you? You wash I’ll rinse. There’s a lot of dishes to do alone“. I’ll never forget it. I felt so little, poor, unequal, unseen. He let me know I still mattered. Becky Hernandaz Figueroa….Humility is a true Fruit of the Spirit…..
  3. One person having the best and worst impact on my life. My mother, God rest her soul was my pride and joy. Diagnosed with kidney disease when I was born it was a difficult childhood because she wasn’t physically right in the head anymore. You see our, my brother, my sister and I mother molested all of us at a very young age and the effects of that caused a downward spiral in my life, drugs, alcohol, stripping and much worse unfortunately. This happening to me impacted my life in a negative way for a long time. Finally ending up in prison and my mother getting sick is where my positive begins as sad as it is to say. I found a way to cope with all my hurt and anger with a counselor by finally talking about it and acknowledging that it happened. For years I despised my mother for what she did but on her deathbed she admitted the wrong she had done and I was able to forgive her. That point in my life had the best impact ever because I was finally able to forgive her for what she did and let it go! I have since grown in to the woman I deserved to be for so long and am so happy in life now! Missy Brown  
  4. Big Jim Darby and his family has made a huge impact on my life. I’ve known them for over 20 years. They have been with me through marriage and divorce. The birth of two of my babies. His love and genuine care for me and my children is something you don’t find everywhere. He always asks about them by name. And when my daddy passed away, his family took the best care of us. can’t really find all the right words to say about the Darby Family. I just know that my life would be totally different had I not ever had the pleasure of having them in my life. Amy Marie McQuown
  5. WARNING: This is very hard to read…..The Space Where I Run to Hide The” incident” in August…. I’m not even capable of calling it out for what it really was. I don’t even have the courage to type the word. So…”the incident” resulted in the loss of yet another piece of my already shattered self. Already ruined and damaged, there was little of “me” left to begin with. This time he brought a friend; someone to “play along” too. I eventually went somewhere else in my mind away from the terror, pain, humiliation, and guilt. There is no point in struggling; my silent screams have never been heard. I lay there, feeling the pressure of their bodies on mine, the movement of the knife sliding across my skin, and the smells…..My mind fighting it’s hardest to prevent the smells and tastes from breaking through the walls of the space in my mind where I always go to hide. I’m losing the fight, the smell of old musty putrid scented musk made of rancid bacteria and yeast permeates my lungs, body, and mouth. I cannot stop feeling and tasting the hairs, sweat, and eventually semen swirling around my mouth and tongue. No one should know what that tastes like; the smell is unforgettable and trauamatizing enough. I lay there; far away in my mind watching as if in a foggy tunnel seeing and feeling bits and pieces of what is happening to my body. There is no pain, but I can hear the ripping of my tissue traveling through my broken body as they force themselves inside me. I can smell the distinct iron scent of blood as it trickles from me, down my thighs onto the ground. I try to hear through the foggy darkness what is being said; “whore”, “slut”, “cunt”. Comments on “How tight”, “take it all in”, “Feels so good, right?”, “Mmm, I know you love my juice, bitch”, “lick me clean slut”, “I’ve got my eye on you”……. I grasp to try to lock in my memory something that will help catch and stop these monsters, but my mind is a sieve. A long ago learned mechanism to maintain an innocent girl’s sanity. The memories painfully flow in……then as if by magic…. flood through my life saving sieve, forever lost in a place I will never ever go. My ears burn and my body shakes and spasms desperate to not see, hear, feel, or taste. My mind grasping at straws… Using every last bit of courage and strength to block my senses and secure the walls to the space where I always run to hide. Anonymous

Daddy Didn’t Come Back. For me, that was the single greatest impact any human ever on my life. The Violation at 10, is a close second. I didn’t find out until later in life that he not only suffered with PTSD, but he AWOL’d out of the service, and when caught, was placed in prison and dishonorably discharged from the military. My sister, being a good person, took up his cause, and readied an appeal, that when reviewed, reinstated his Vet benefits. I’m an adult now, with babies and a spouse of my own…I spent many years believing that men were disposable….nothing to feel sorry for….LOL, I even tried to break it off with Merrill twice because I felt myself really caring about him…..Do I have any insightful words of wisdom to the others who’ve also suffered horrendous damage, due to the impact of someone else in their life? NO….God NO. I wish I did. I wish I could make it all better with the twist of my nose, the blink of my eye, but I can’t….For me, the answers to healing lies within my blog…The more I write about the Bad Things, the more I feel whole….I’ve gone though some sh*t…..you’ve gone through some sh*t….we’ve all gone through some sh*t, but look at the goodness that comes from Impaction as well….There is light in this world, the trick, is to be one. The past is gone, the present is here, the future awaits you, but BE the impact you wish you had….and if all else fails, there’s always cussing….and I won’t judge you a bit. Daddy Never Came Back….I wasn’t a whore, I was terrified and just trying to survive…and friends, do not judge what you do not understand. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.


102.7 KIIS FM's Wango Tango - Arrivals







To be Tolerant:

Adjective:  “Showing willingness to allow the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with“.

LOL, I do not think it means, what YOU think it means.

All along the 2,000’s, we were bullied to be tolerant of other views, so much so, that we had some churches preaching that Christ was tolerant, therefore, we should be tolerant as well. Um, Christ was loving and forgiving true enough, but He wasn’t tolerant. The Woman at the Well, reminds us that Christ did not say, “Oh that’s okay. You’ve had a hard life, and I understand“….NO…He SAID, “Go forth and sin no more“…..but that’s a moot point for the discussion today….Over time, the “tolerant” left…aka the young dumasses, have taken their Big Brother admonishment of “Being Tolerant” and given it fangs, with the “I hope you DIE” anthology, of the millennia. I never really understood wishing death upon someone. After all, how bad does your hatred have to run, before you wish a soul wiped off the face of the earth? Well, okay, I can think of two….but for simply disagreeing with their stupid causes, these little asshats would wish death upon you and the harshest part is they have no clue, that their uneducated ass is being INTOLERANT themselves. It really is like taking candy from a baby….too easy. Tolerant….I guess when you have no balls, you have nothing to lose.

And so it goes, the pacifism movement a failure, these kids, these keyboard warriors, these mom’s basement residing assholes, are now wishing death upon the President, AND anyone whom supports him, and some of you don’t get how dangerous this is? These freaks of nature have been given a voice, a platform, ATTENTION, and now, they’re going to spread their ignorant, vile spew, all over social media, because they can. It isn’t sufficient to write that I’d LOVE to beat their asses, because what I want to do goes father, and before you judge me, understand that I never claimed to be tolerant! See, that’s the irony here….I can, tolerate other points of view, because I love a good debate, but what these rejects are doing, is illegal, immoral, WRONG….that’s not my morals, that LAW…and if nothing, we are a nation of laws….but some have forgotten that!

Tolerant people are the most dangerous people in society. Eventually, that kind of patience, runs out, and bad things happen. For example, Solomon was the wisest, richest of all Jewish Kings and yet, he became corrupted due to his tolerance of other religions. Tolerance turns into impatience, or worse, APATHY, which in turn, turns into corruption…..It’s disappointing that America would allow for such speech…I mean, they have a right, of course, but don’t we have a right to pounce on them….and beat the hell out of them? Sigh, probably not! I dunno….I just want a fight I guess, mostly because I’m not tolerant, patient, or anti-apathetic. What? I’m supposed to be tolerant of the ugly chick from Goonies bragging about her abortion? I’m supposed to tolerate has-been celebrities mocking a day of prayer? I’m supposed to let these little brats get away with wishing for my death? I don’t know, you can keep being tolerant, congratulating yourself on not getting involved or offending anyone, but then when they come for you, and they will come for you, we’re going to be too tired of being tolerant to help you. These posters, are from the “Just put him in time-out” generation…..I’m guessing that didn’t work…..Gotta go….Prayers to Florida, and all within, expect for the Pedophiles and Casey Anthony….and then they can both die!….I don’t give a sh*t what you think about that….I….am….not…TOLERANT, but you know that. Dontcha? Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today.With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Saturday.


What’s My Name?











Your deadline to submit your guest post, “Impaction” is almost due. Just saying.

What’s My Name? Well…..


I don’t understand why we tiptoe around certain issues. There is a general sense of befuddlement within me, that makes me want to scream every time I see certain posts, and the thing about posts, is they’re never fully deleted. Why then, do we comment when we’re mad, drunk or high? Maybe it’s because we don’t have someone right at our disposal to smack the hell out of us, when we screw up? For example, at the dinner table a few nights ago, Sweetness had an “accidental” burp (accidental my ass), so I admonished him, that had I EVER burped at the table, my grandmother would not even have warned me…Without putting her soup spoon down, she’d whip out her left hand so fast, I’d have to ask for the plate number of the truck that hit me. I think that’s what’s missing here….A real direct threat, a discipline (if you will) that will whip us back into shape…..Grandma at the table, I don’t burp, but don’t burp at someone elses table either….she had ears….always had ears. What’s My Name? Well Embarrassed….I’m Embarrassed. It’s nice to meet you.

Ms. Alyssa Milano earned her acting bones in Hollywood with such great hits as “Who’s The Boss“, “Melrose Place” and of course the blockbuster “Commando“. Clearly, she’s an expert in all things politics, but seems to have missed the class on decorum. Decorum, whether you posses it or not, simply dictates that when someone is asking for prayer, you do not demean them, nor mock them with their own words. For example, when Trump sent out a Tweet asking for prayers for Texas, and making September 3, a National Day of Prayer, she Tweeted back, that it should indeed be National Asshole Day. Now, she either forgotten that her influence goes no farther than late night 80’s television, or she honestly needs work in Hollywood and thought this would be a good way to get attention, either way, she was the ASS…and she looked bad! That ugly ass chick from Goonies made headlines earlier this week when she came out and admitted that her first abortion, was her best abortion. I had to ask myself, what climate do we live in, where both women, felt safe enough to behave badly? Good question….

Christians, we EFFED up! Long ago, we decided that being friends with the World was more important than telling the world the news we had to share. We were to be the Light unto the World but instead, we became bogged down with important matters like feelings, and how we are perceived by others. When we stand before the throne, and we all will, the one question Christ WILL ask us is, “What did you do for me?”…..Well, Um…I kept the peace, didn’t offend people by bringing you up, I didn’t speak out when people were bragging about abortions, I backed down when your Name was being taken in vain, I didn’t make, nor create any waves….Just like you told me not to do….but the Parable of the Talents is very clear about what happens to us, if we don’t make waves….isn’t it? We have a world where the President is MOCKED for asking for prayers, Abortions are trophies on an ugly woman’s mantel, and honestly, I’ve seen so much smack talk about God, that I’ve begged Him to come down and smite the begotter…..Tell me something….60 million Christians in this amazing country, and abortion is legal? Souls are OD’ing every day? Children are dying at school? Rapes and assaults on a daily basis….60 million Christians…and Alyssa Milano felt safe enough to mock a leader, asking for prayer, and I ask you….What DID you DO about it? No one ever impressed Him, by standing down. No one every won Mercy Points by ignoring the sin. No one every earned His favor by pushing the issue to someone else. If you see evil, and that includes HATE, speak out on it! For only the Light can chase away the dark….yet too many of us have forgotten that we ARE the Light….He who tries to save his life, will lose it….strong words from a man who’d know what we’d go through. So…

What’s My Name? Well it’s daughter….I can make a small difference in the world today, so that hopefully all will understand just how loving, and graceful He really is….60 million Christians in this country, and I had to write a column like this? Don’t you think it’s time to let others know your name too? Be Blessed.

Remember you set The Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Friday.

Adult Education

This is pretty sexy
This is pretty sexy











Say it!

I’m totally head over heals in love with you, and I love being a father to our children


Adult Education.

The dog, does not come off this throne easily. A long time ago, when his fat ass was just still a puppy, we’d put him in the bed with us, and let him whimper himself to sleep. Over the years, and because he wasn’t an incredible bed hog, we let him stay, so that now, the bottom half the bed is filled with the furry goodness we like to call Tuck. Truth is, when Merrill isn’t in town, and the kiddo’s are nestled up beside me, his fat, snoring self is quite assuring. He’s ten now, and so far into his nightly entitlements, that to try to gently shoo him from the foot of the bed, usually brings about great growling and gnashing of his big, dog fangs, but the one truth that’s remained steadfast in our history with Tuck, is that whether you come, stay, lay or pray, he doesn’t care what you do on the bed, as long as you leave his outwardly expanding space alone. Adult Education….the married life may not be romantic, but sexy is now a man you can call the father of your children, and soul mate.

I find hubby amazingly sexy. Is that wrong? I mean, for almost a quarter of a century, I have been with, lived with, ate with, and raised children with the very same man, who back when he was 19, adorably asked me if I wanted to thumb wrestle. I can honestly say, with a certain degree of certainly, that I loved him, the moment I saw him, but we’re now one-fourth of the way through the 100’s together, and I look into his deep blue eyes, and still feel that tingle that drew me to him oh so many years ago. Well, that or indigestion, but what’s sexy to me now, wasn’t sexy to me then. Now, if he’s rolling around the ground with the kids, or helping them with homework, a hormone, one of the precious few I have left, will start to tingle, and then, I’ll feel the desire to jump his bones….but if he hasn’t done any that stuff, or won’t put on a freaking bandana for me, his DANCE becomes a gamble of sorts. He can spin that Roulette Table, but I can’t guarantee him any winnings:

  • Touch on the lower back…NOPE, she jerked away….
  • Touch on the lower back…..she hasn’t moved…..maybe….
  • Moves fingers around more….still not rebutting advances….looking good
  • Moving in closer….not rebutting…BUT not moving….She’s asleep…Do NOT wake her UP!
  • Kiss on the neck…she’s moving, but not screaming….looking good.
  • Blowing HOT breath in her ear…..”NO!”….

I’m not some prude that goes to bed in curlers and a full-length, flannel gown. I mean I KNOW what I have…. the problem is that unlike our past glory days where our passion would take ANYWHERE/ANY TIME, we are parents now, with children whom possess acute c*ckblocking abilities, therefore, married passion, mandates that we either become creative James Bond type lovers, or we wait until after the little crumb snatchers go to bed, in which case, we’re so tired trying to outwit them, we sleep too. Adult Education is trying to navigate Nesquick with a 80lbs fat ass on the bed, moving and weaving between babies that had “bad dreams”, trying to keep your flesh awake (the Spirit is willing) so that you can spend some personal time rewarding your spouse for helping your son do his homework, not wanting to turn off Law and Order, a show you’ve seen a thousand times, because you’ve had a bad day too…When you were young and in love, any surface would do, but now that you’re older and you’ve transversed the world together, LIFE, mandates that you now be creative, instead of impulsive, and be honest….the preschooler will only watch so much Toy Story 3, before she goes looking for YOU!….Adult Education, it’s what they don’t teach you in relationship class that will kill your bond, if you let it….Find time to be with your partner, your equal, your soul-mate….even if…the dog (and now), the cat, has to watch. Achoo….Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Tuesday.





Happy Birthday Princess










I think it is a boy“…German M.D. It wasn’t until a week before she was born, and after all the baby shower presents that I found out otherwise.

For almost 9 months her name was Philip Anthony, the baby shower was blue, I had talked and talked of having a son, but one week before she made her landfall in Europe, we found out she was not a boy, but a huge healthy girl. Riding into this world in style, it took an emergency cesarean to bring forth the 10.4 baby girl…and she’s only gained 99 pounds since. She was an amazing pleasure to raise and no, she wasn’t always perfect, she was always mine…Happy Birthday Princess.…I hope 28 treats you well.

Keeping this short and sweet, when I say to people, “This too shall pass” it’s because I have three generations of children, I KNOW that whatever the parent, and child may go through, time is indeed the wonderful healer. I was so not ready for Princess when she made her appearance, but we did grow and learn together, and that’s the glue to the relationship we share…She’s super smart, super funny, and may be one of the very few people that can calm me down when angry…funny how that works out. She’s college educated, has a great job, and makes good choices….She’s a good kid ya’ll….and a great big sister….I can’t wait until she can fly out here to visit…So, Happy Birthday Princess…..Ya know, all three of you have such strong personalities…strong personalities. Wonder where you get that? ….Mommy loves you baby girl…..I’ll call you later…..Have a great day!




Church Watch Part IV









Wow!” Ronnie and Merrill upon arriving at Bayside

Church Watch Part IV….we might have found our church.

I think it’s easy to opinion on issues when you’ve not been tested on your own Theology. What I mean is Merrill and I have sat in numerous Sunday School classes and opened up about our thoughts on the modern-day Church and why The Message is being drowned out by the World. We’ve always believed that the greatest challenge facing our churches today is the ideal that they (the congregant) don’t want to move away from the way they’ve TRADITIONALLY done things, to a more modern format that attracts the lost souls in our society. I’m not talking about Doctrine because Doctrine is steadfast, but like Mathematics, unless we’re discussing Common Core, one must be willing to find new ways to make the Faith relatable and interesting. It’s okay to have Church in the park, rather than the four walls…feel me? Church Watch Part IV….we’re getting closer, if we’re not already there.

So the church was big ya’ll. I mean HUGE. They have 4 services, a campus that would make the mall say, “DAMN” and they have stations, upon stations of their ministries, as well as fully staffed volunteers ready to be at the service of a new soul. They have a shuttle service, in which they’ve enlisted a local school bus to transport, parking attendants, coffee hosts, teachers, greeters, heck…I think they even had a baker in the back churning out pastry after pastry for every hungry soul that walked in. They were missing a Starbucks, but not everyone is perfect. It struck me as we walked onto the campus, that if this church could organize such a vast amount of people, they’re either doing something right….or they’re a cult, and trust, that my cult sensor was on. “There’s got to be something shady here” I thought, as we walked into the huge auditorium that could easy seat thousands….I was ready….but then the Worship team started….and I was immediately transformed into a Christian concert….even the words they sang were right. Here, God was not your friend, but you’re Savior, He was not a BFF, but your Heavenly Father, He was not the great Genie in the sky ready to grant all your wishes, but your Sheppard, and I started to relax and enjoy the music….Merrill?Not so much, but even he came round..

But the message, “Bad Habits of a Christian Life” was so on-point it was like God Himself had written it…I looked over at my husband and watched him engaged…laughing, nodding his head, and enjoying himself….if he could just get through…the music. See, we’re no strangers to enlightening music…our church back home had started to tap its toe into a new form of Worship music, and frankly, I was digging it, but Merrill believed that Worship music should be “Amazing Grace“, “Old Rugged Cross“, maybe “How Great is our God“, but as I listened to the Worship team, I was reminded of our good friend and Merrill’s cousin, Dave, and how much he’d love this. Yes, Bayside is HUGE…enormous…vast…BIG…but that could mean that they were doing something right for the Lord, not something TRENDY for themselves. I’m still not hip to Small Groups and the whole concept of Oikos, but in a church this large, Sunday School would be a nightmare. They save Communion for every Saturday; which isn’t un-Biblical, and they have a Youth pastor…male and female….for every age group…it doesn’t mean they’re wrong….it doesn’t mean they’re a cult, because after all, we found NO FAULT with the message today….it just means that this church has figured out the secret to the Christian Faith….to Be Inclusive, and do make sure ALL know the Grace of God. The pastor pulled no punches, but he did in a way that makes the listener understand that like a parent, God must do what His Justice demands….It doesn’t mean He can’t take you out for ice cream afterwards, and so friends, I think if this isn’t the church for us, it’s darn close….

So, Church Watch Part IV.…Do we go to another church next week, or do we welcome Bayside as our new home? The church that we visited last week, very graciously stopped by yesterday to talk to us…I really DID like the pastor….but to me, the Word needs to be tempered with Grace. After all, haven’t we all beat ourselves up enough? Don’t you think that a child, with low self-esteem, deserves to be told he’s loved by a loving Creator? For me, Bayside had it all….it was BIG, but maybe only because God has chosen to bless them. Look them up for yourself, and you tell me, does this look like a cult? They’re big on Restoration Ministries; which as you know is a huge draw for me…..www.baysideonline.com…..I think I could be happy there, and I think they’d love Ronnie, even if they would try to change her…LOL. God’s trying, I don’t see how any mere mortal could think they could do better. Gotta go. It’s hot…and I’m tired. They have women’s Bible study tomorrow and since I’m unrighteously unemployed, I might just go…..Sometimes, the Road to Emmas is by far greater than the Road to Damascus. The difference is, do you know Him? Can you see Him? Are you ready to let him in? His Grace has brought me safe this far, and His Grace will lead me home. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.



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