Men on Pause Arm Pit Sweat
Men on Pause Arm Pit Sweat

Sweetness partied with his father a little too hard last night and he’s learning the basic law of consequences this morning; which simply states, on a school night…if you chose to stay up and watch the game….you will be tired. I don’t know how else to state it. I remember Germany, being in the club until 3,4,5 am in the morning, only to have to be at BK at 6a…not a problem, so Sweetness will be okay. Truth is, I wouldn’t give him up for all the hormones in the world; which is good, because him and his sister cost me quite a bit of female capital. I may be only 45, but I have the hormonal body of a 52 yr old. I hate you Eve…sigh…Men on Pause…you suck too.

I get it Eve. The apple looked good. I mean, I too have sat and gazed upon a piece of cake that I knew would not be good for me. I too have longed for it’s chocolaty goodness to hit the expectant taste buds in my mouth, and I too…aware of said consequence….have taken the forbidden bite…but my Goodness woman, GOD told you, I mean He actually sat you down, gave you The Talk, and told you not to eat of the Tree of Life. It isn’t that He was ambiguous and said, “I’d prefer you not eat the apple”, no…He said, “Don’t….eat…the…apple”, but you did, and now women everywhere must pay the price. My husband must now freaking LORD over me and mess…I mean he’s gotta LORD over me..I don’t want that! I gotta fight him every time Duchess gets her Chocolate Milk….worse I gotta have ARM PIT Sweat in a Vintage Gucci Dress…Lord it isn’t like I ate the apple….Come on….

Okay, so I knew that having the IVF procedure would put my body into early Men On Pause. I was okay with that..I still am, but some of the symptoms, like Armpit sweat I think is a little unnecessary. Why can they put a MAN on the moon, but not make a antiperspirant that won’t make a woman sweat in church? The mood swings, the lack of wanting Merrill to touch me (and believe you me, he tries), the crying because I ran over spider….that I can handle, but I have to deal with sweat…..and that bothers me. Sigh….it isn’t so much Eve’s fault as it is the current Scientists who cannot seem to control the basic regulation of a female body. Make a condom that promises no babies, but God forbid you keep a woman from resorting to extreme measures in Church. Okay, rant over…I gotta go. It’s time to awaken Sweetness. I love him…I adore him…his sense of humor is much like his father’s sense of humor. He was worth it, and I’ll sweat in the face of Carrie Bradshaw herself to have my only begotten son (with whom I am well pleased). Thank you Jesus. Merrill’s looking at me….sigh….time to go deodorize….He’s gonna try to LORD over me again…..I hate you Eve….Be Blessed. Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Monday.

 

 

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