“You’re not talking to me?”  Merrill

No, I’m not. I’ve been in this relationship a long, long time and I never cease to be amazed at his ability to not know what’s going on. SMH….He asked if I were going to go to Champaign with him later today, I said, “Sure. It’ll give me a chance to study, but I’m still not talking to you”. “Oh? You’re not talking to me?”…..”NO, I’m not talking to you. “But, why?”…..”You know what you did”……”Yes, I KNOW what I did, but I thought you’d like to talk about it”……He doesn’t have a clue, but friends, it’s righteous this time. I’m going to let him have quite, thoughtful reflection so he can figure it out.

9 times out of 10, when a friend asks you what they can do to help, there’s nothing they can do, but 10 times out of 10….I appreciate the offer. Ann Landers wrote a column several years ago about a woman whose husband had died. She wanted all her friends to know she appreciated them, but wanted to offer advice to others, should this horrible situation arose again. She wanted her friends to know that they shouldn’t ask where they’re needed, but to just jump in and be needed. “Find a need and fill it” she wrote. Because of that column, to this day, If a friend loses a loved one, I’m on the phone to County Market ordering meat and cheese trays, along with a large toilet paper…it’s the least I can do….I want to make sure the visitors are fed, and the friend doesn’t have to worry about nutrition or Toilet Paper…..See, its in this spirit….I’m mad at him….follow me here.

I KNOW what’s wrong with me. I have a little girl inside of me constantly pointing out why I should not overreach and follow any dream I may have. “You might fail” she says, or “They’ll laugh at you if you do fail”…..well yes, I suppose that’s true, but the way to beat the fear, is to become and embrace the fear….but that’s a different lesson isn’t it? I pondered the implication of my failure most of the week… GOT to me…under my skin…. I failed a test….a big…..FREAKING test….it made me feel things I haven’t felt for a long time…helpless…..stupid….FOOLISH…and WHOOMP there it is, the “F” word….The “Eww”, the “Ask Me About My Period” Being told I was “so ugly it pissed her off” then getting my ass beat in front of a large group of people, for being ugly…..I LOOKED foolish….the little girl….was right…..For a minute….she was right for a minute…Anywho, I was talking to my best friend about how terrible I felt, and in true Director fashion,…he told me all about what I HAD TO DO to be successful….then I stopped talking to him. Has anyone figured it out yet?

So, this isn’t a “bash Merrill” thread, and I’ll kill you if you do. He’s an amazing father and provider….he’s a good man, with a Director Mentality…..I’ve beat the “Detail Devil” to death, however, when you’re a “Big Picture” person, you miss the minor details in relationships. Like the “Construction” sign missing from Waze, that detail could very well set your relationship off on the wrong course. Now, am I divorcing Merrill? No, of course not. He’s done worse, believe that, but I’m not helping him this time either. Some things Grasshopper, one must really ponder and reflect upon to understand. Did you get it yet? Well then, I’m not telling you either, but know that It’s Righteous This Time…..I’m not the bad guy here. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Friday.



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