My Personal Raid
“I listen to 70’s disco“…Ronnie sharing her Running Play List.
It’s no secret that I’m terrified of spiders. I have FB friends that take great joy in posting and pasting each and every spider meme on the web, to my page, in the hopes of getting a reaction out of me. Some do, some don’t, but ultimately, they’re just trying to help me…I think…but I doubt it…they just like to watch me squirm, and I did digress. Spiders are my mental roadblock. A barrier so affixed in my brain, that it’s become a part of my persona, and to remove it, would be lobotomy that would turn me into a Stepford Wife so fast, Nicole Kidman would be impressed. I know my roadblock exists, I’m okay with it. I’ve grown accustomed to it…C’est Moi….and it’s not dangerous. I suppose, if I were to apply for a position with a pest control company, my fear of spiders would indeed preclude me from my goals….but as I am, whom I am….I have other Roadblocks that need to be dealt with….Roadblocks….mi mind, et tu mind.
Some people cannot get up and speak in public….I can. Some people cannot pick up snakes….I can….Some cannot write for others to judge….Sigh…I can. The thing about our roadblocks, is if we break them down, into their smallest parts, they are..no longer….insurmountable, but alas, we’re not willing to do that….and I get why. Twice in my life, TWICE, I’ve had to face spiders….face to face, toe to toe…I’ve been forced to fight those bastards….and I’ve won….Given the choice, however, I’ll run all day ya’ll all day, because, in my mind, they’ve been given Godzilla like proportions……they’re a god….but I’ve also face God before….
Childhood trauma’s (which is where the spider fear comes from) are difficult to defeat because when faced….we become that baby again…Funny how we’ve overcome so many other barriers in our life, but let it be from our childhood, and we’re that toddler…begging for mommy…….it frustrates me that I’m scared of spiders……It frustrates me that I’m insecure…..It frustrates me that when someone questions my judgment, I become an asshole and always starts a fight…..my Roadblocks FRUSTRATE me, because I look and act just like Duchess struggling for Independence….when they step to me…..But guess what? We are not that baby ya’ll…..we’re not. We are grown, experienced, problem solving adults…..and those roadblocks? Yes well, they’re just wooden barriers meant to be driven through. They’re just wood….your WILL can do all things….PERIOD….Your WILL…..CAN DO…..ALL THINGS, and I can end this MUG right here, because that’s all you need to know. SO, I HAVE PROVEN….that when pushed….I’m a FORCE to be dealt with……pack a lunch Boo…I’ll go all day…sigh….unless you’re a spider….I can do all things, except kill a spider, through Christ, and Paul better not judge me….He didn’t have the wolfies we have….UGH. Baby steps. Gotta go….See the roadblock, step to the roadblock, drive through that mug….it’s like bringing a knife…to a gun fight….and you, are the gun! Okay, the sun is beautiful this morning…..I don’t want to run…UGH. Let me drive through this roadblock. Be Blessed.
Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Saturday.