Asking Merrill if we would meet up at the coffee shop today, for our “date”, Sweetness interrupts with, “You guys can’t date, you’re married”. Just like the time he wanted to know about, The Sex, I handed said explanation over to Merrill because after all, he wanted The Boy, he should take the lead, and be a father. Merrill, true man style, chose to use the Call a Friend feature on the conversation, and handed it back to me (WUSS), so I explained to Sweetness that “dates” aren’t always for single people looking to marry up with eligible mates. Sometimes they are mommy and daddy’s way of getting out of the house, with NO babies, for some private time. While explaining private time, I had to be very careful not to give him the impression that private meant “The Sex” because Merrill had once made the mistake of telling his only begotten son that mommies and daddies do The Sex in private. Sweetness accepted this brief wrap up of The Date with no questions and moved on…..but it did get me to thinking exactly what it is, we show our kids, about relationships.
The martial relationship I have with Merrill is unique at best. In the midst of all the, “You’re such an ass” affirmations, stands a relationship that has stood the test of time. We love/hate, but at least it’s passionate….We allow our kid’s see our affection, and conflicts, carefully noting what resolution, if any, may exist. Relationships don’t always get topped with the pretty pink bow that Disney would have us purchase….NOPE, sometimes a little crow makes for a good dinner, and we try to let them see that. The flaw in Sweetness’s thinking was that dating is what the television and Rap stars models, BUT “Dating” in the martial world is about getting together and connecting while there is time left, because if we don’t, not only will we have an empty nest, but an empty relationship as well. Dating, for us, isn’t discussing our feelings, (God NO never the feelings), but just the laptops, coffee and the quite assurance that the other is there, and will always be there, through the good-bad-ugly and believe you me, there’s been a lot of UGLY.
So, the Date, may not end in The Sex, but like The Sex it does bring us closer in not only the physical sense, but the metaphysical realm as well. The Mommy/Daddy date is about connecting on a plane greater than the diaper changes, the vomitus, the “MOMMY, she’s touching me”, and finally the lullaby’s…the sweet, sweet lullaby’s we share with Duchess. Mommy/Daddy dating is a way to be together without the distraction of being Mommy/Daddy and how very blessed are we, to be able to do it together, over coffee.
I’m here right now, writing, blogging, stressing and choosing, while he…..he is surfing porn….You never know….he could be. Dating, it doesn’t have to end with the dinner, the awkward kiss, followed up with, “Will she or won’t she?”. It can be the simple, “I’m here, God is in His heaven, and all is right with the world.” Everything is exactly as it should be…..when DATING…..Be Blessed.