“If Home really is where the heart is, then I should probably call my heart, and tell her where I am“…..Ronnie giggling at herself this am.
I’ve known people in Danville, and some here, who’ve never, ever left the area. I mean, they travel, but as far as moving or getting out for any extended period of time, they’ve never left their homes. There are times, like when we visited Colorado Springs, that I thought I could totally move and be happy, but I now see that’s not true. The gala last night was beautiful, we had a great time, met lots and lots of people (oh I could tell you some stories of rich drunk people), but it was missing the garlic spice on my spaghetti…Know what I mean? I’ve carefully watched the Danville news, I know the crime rate….I see the city in crises….and I still miss it. Home….It really IS about where you lie your pearls. I don’t do change well do I?
“Wanna go to Tahoe for Christmas?” I asked Merrill a few days ago. I’m going to put on the face, decorate the tree (my Halloween decorations are still up…ugh), and I’ll go through the motions, because we do this for our kids and our sweet baby Jesus….but really, to stay at home doesn’t seem necessary. Hell, I don’t even know what we’re going to do for Thanksgiving. Who will go with me to Wal-Mart and dare some stranger to step to me over a small piece of electronic equipment? Where are my ATA mom’s gonna be, as I tell a stranger to get the hell back, and up out of my face? What about mom’s chocolate pie, chicken and noodles, the fruit plate we’d bring every year, the family that drove me BSC….but I miss now…..I was bragging about my Publicist last night to a friend, then thought, “I haven’t talked to her in YEARS”…..we used to be joined at the hip……I’m not doing well with this am I?
And SO….I KNOW….that all this….rests within ME. The sh*t about self-happiness, and contentment is now coming home to roost, and I’m resenting it. The holidays especially are going to be hard, but I have my little family here….So, I’m serious about Lake Tahoe. A lodge, a cozy room, snow, a small tree…presents….coffee….beautiful lodge fire….Santa will find us, of this I am sure. Home….the embodiment of the spirit rests within our heart….NO, it may not be the same, but the same isn’t always good. I do miss the Fall in the Midwest….the leaves, the gentle 60mph winds coming off the plains, the big ass Wolf spiders who’d try to eat your brain while you slept, the wood burning stoves, the cold wood floors, the friends, the sweatshirts, Saturday U of I football, I mean, I DO miss it, and I might just to have to accept that I will never, ever live there again, but as long as I have Merrill that has to be enough…..Sigh…. Home is in the heart and I’ll make a new heart here….I’ll get over it, especially when I see you getting 8 ft of snow in January (I’ll be home in January for a minute). So I gotta go. Not sure about church today….that’s the part I miss the most I think….Church. We’ll get back to that another day…..Be Blessed.
Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.