Tag: Death

Tolerant

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To be Tolerant:

Adjective:  “Showing willingness to allow the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with“.

LOL, I do not think it means, what YOU think it means.

All along the 2,000’s, we were bullied to be tolerant of other views, so much so, that we had some churches preaching that Christ was tolerant, therefore, we should be tolerant as well. Um, Christ was loving and forgiving true enough, but He wasn’t tolerant. The Woman at the Well, reminds us that Christ did not say, “Oh that’s okay. You’ve had a hard life, and I understand“….NO…He SAID, “Go forth and sin no more“…..but that’s a moot point for the discussion today….Over time, the “tolerant” left…aka the young dumasses, have taken their Big Brother admonishment of “Being Tolerant” and given it fangs, with the “I hope you DIE” anthology, of the millennia. I never really understood wishing death upon someone. After all, how bad does your hatred have to run, before you wish a soul wiped off the face of the earth? Well, okay, I can think of two….but for simply disagreeing with their stupid causes, these little asshats would wish death upon you and the harshest part is they have no clue, that their uneducated ass is being INTOLERANT themselves. It really is like taking candy from a baby….too easy. Tolerant….I guess when you have no balls, you have nothing to lose.

And so it goes, the pacifism movement a failure, these kids, these keyboard warriors, these mom’s basement residing assholes, are now wishing death upon the President, AND anyone whom supports him, and some of you don’t get how dangerous this is? These freaks of nature have been given a voice, a platform, ATTENTION, and now, they’re going to spread their ignorant, vile spew, all over social media, because they can. It isn’t sufficient to write that I’d LOVE to beat their asses, because what I want to do goes father, and before you judge me, understand that I never claimed to be tolerant! See, that’s the irony here….I can, tolerate other points of view, because I love a good debate, but what these rejects are doing, is illegal, immoral, WRONG….that’s not my morals, that LAW…and if nothing, we are a nation of laws….but some have forgotten that!

Tolerant people are the most dangerous people in society. Eventually, that kind of patience, runs out, and bad things happen. For example, Solomon was the wisest, richest of all Jewish Kings and yet, he became corrupted due to his tolerance of other religions. Tolerance turns into impatience, or worse, APATHY, which in turn, turns into corruption…..It’s disappointing that America would allow for such speech…I mean, they have a right, of course, but don’t we have a right to pounce on them….and beat the hell out of them? Sigh, probably not! I dunno….I just want a fight I guess, mostly because I’m not tolerant, patient, or anti-apathetic. What? I’m supposed to be tolerant of the ugly chick from Goonies bragging about her abortion? I’m supposed to tolerate has-been celebrities mocking a day of prayer? I’m supposed to let these little brats get away with wishing for my death? I don’t know, you can keep being tolerant, congratulating yourself on not getting involved or offending anyone, but then when they come for you, and they will come for you, we’re going to be too tired of being tolerant to help you. These posters, are from the “Just put him in time-out” generation…..I’m guessing that didn’t work…..Gotta go….Prayers to Florida, and all within, expect for the Pedophiles and Casey Anthony….and then they can both die!….I don’t give a sh*t what you think about that….I….am….not…TOLERANT, but you know that. Dontcha? Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today.With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Saturday.

 

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Between Life And Death

22-angel-wings-template-free-cliparts-that-you-can-download-to-you-0TZcV3-clipartGoodbye Baby Girl. I love you“. Ronnie saying goodbye

In what my 1st day on the job christening, we had a medic call in which a daughter could not reach her father by phone. Apparently, she had tried to call him for a few days with no results, so worried, she called the police…my ambulance had the honor of accompanying the police to the home for the well-person’s check. Upon approach, an observant purveyor would make note of the newspapers on the porch, the answering machine blinking “12, 12, 12” messages, the mail in the box….Sigh…this wasn’t going to be good…as the locksmith was breaking and entering, the police officer said to me, “Do you have a good sense of smell?”, “It’s my gift” I told him…and sure enough, the minute the door cracked, I knew…I knew it would be a hard call to the daughter….Between Life And Death….you’ll find me, and those like me. We didn’t ask for this, but we’ll perform our duties to the best that God gave us.

It’s been a bad week. The joke is that I can take almost any emergency, except the ones that involve my family, and make it my bitch!  That’s because the stakes are higher…Know what I mean? In this field, we (I) know how the story ends for many, so when we (I) see the story beginning for our own, we do freak out…and why not? It’s OUR most precious possessions. I’ve counseled and been there for many, many, MANY people who are facing crises….make it a crises that involves my own, and I need prayer. In the field, I’ve had the most esteemed honor of walking some very beloved people home. It’s been my gift, it’s been my pleasure…but it doesn’t come without pain. I’ve done this job for 10 yrs…10, and it never gets easy, and that’s because Death has many faces. It will take some when they least expect it, “Now I lay me down to sleep”, and then for others, it will wait at the door. I’ve often wondered why GOD chose me….to walk them out. He still has yet to answer me…but until He does, I keep on…keeping on.

Between Life and Death, you will find me, and those like me. No one should come into this world alone, and no one should leave this world alone. When the end comes, and it will come, we don’t all get to keep death waiting. You can laugh, you can cry, but when it’s your own…you’ll struggle too. There is no promise in the Bible that He will not give you more than you can handle….that’s crap. It’s a story made up by Christians, because they can’t just shut up and listen, in a time of great strife. He WILL give you way more than you can handle, or He’ll stay out of it all together, but the promise is not…that He won’t pile a bunch of crap on you….The promise is that He won’t TEMPT you…big difference my friends. My struggle with Him, is that in all the situations I’ve encountered, the prerogative of life and death is still His…and what IF….He doesn’t want to be gracious toward me and mine? I’m not so naive as to believe that prayer will protect me….it won’t. Babies die, Seniors leave, and husbands have Widow Makers….the only thing keeping me sane, is the fact that I have too much going on, to think about any one threat. Yes, I am in denial, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Between Life and Death….my struggles to be what God chose me to be, but I am only human, and I am only weak…I may be stronger than I think, but I’m also weaker than you believe….Love that irony. I may cry later, I may drink later, but what I will not do is quit…even if I am a tad bit dehydrated. Gotta go…Looks like Merrill sutures are opening…..Of course they are….this is MY life….but I do love it…and I’m so honored that God chose ME to live it. I am going in ER/ICU medicine….pretty sure Death and I will get to know each other well there….he should know I don’t let go easy…Sigh…Pray for me. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Thursday.

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Paparazzi

15271886_1173039026065815_5897089333505869035_oI disagree“…Ronnie to a Poster regarding an ongoing Facebook debate.

When posting some personal mess on Facebook, immediate family is USUALLY aware of said situation. I say, “Usually” because that isn’t always the case. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is more annoying to me, then to read something KNOWING all of the family has not been informed. Back in my day (Before FB), and yes I am that old, we had a thing where we’d pick up the phone and call when good news/bad news had to be broken. Now, with the advent of Ambulance Reporters, news….good or bad…travels at the speed of light…it sucks, because it’s disrespectful, and makes grieving public. Almost like taking the act of pooping and putting it on the front page…..Paparazzi…..if you think Facebook is an acceptable medium for finding out your family has died…..You’re an asshole….and I’m just being honest.

Keeping up with a local scanner page, I read the police had sectioned off a part of the lake, to retrieve a car that had driven off a pier. Allegedly, the little sister had called friends, instead of 911, as she was sinking…we don’t know why…it’s not the point of this column. The point is that Danville lost a Little Sister, and some found out about it, via Facebook. KY-3, a local news channel from my youth, posted a picture of a pick up truck involved in an accident on I-44. The accident was a fatality, with the driver and her child, losing their lives. The Coroner had not yet been to the scene of the accident….The victim’s husband, was able to READ that his wife and CHILD had been killed in the accident…

Everybody is the freaking paparazzi now, everyone wants a piece of the attention pie, and since we don’t have to deal with family grief, we don’t have to care what happens to someone once they know. A poster on the Scanner page said yesterday, “She was my cousin…I found out on Facebook”. We have no business playing Paparazzi, reputable news outlets have no business playing Paparazzi. It IS WRONG to break the news of a loved ones death via Facebook, and Twitter, and Instagram! I can’t believe that there are those who defended the FB notification. “Who cares, as long as we find out” was their response….Do you really want to find out about your child’s death via someone’s tag? Don’t be scummy. Death is still the great equalizer. Can we not make it a little more bearable for the one who just found out? Kindness is free….Silence is Golden…Grace is Divine. Out of the three….Silence is the most blessed….Be Silent, and let the family grieve. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.

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The Virus

Makes me sad too
Makes me sad too

Just another celebrity, bitch wanna be, with a bad dye job” And that was a kind comment about me!

So I deleted her comment and banned her. I wanted to track her down and make her pay with her life, but that’s way too easy. I mean, I WANT people to know that I’m the wrong crazy to mess with, but in the end, it’s more empowering to KNOW that I have the power to keep the Peace….get it? See, in any relationship WE (you, me, us) decide the Peace that exists in this world…Sadly, with all the power in our soul, many don’t care enough to make the effort. It’s easier to hate, and it controls… If you don’t believe me, read some of my threads on Facebook. Granted, some celebrities like the Kardashian clan will bring out the black in people’s souls more readily than others, but when you see the names I’m called on a daily basis…..The Virus….I don’t know which one it IS….but I KNOW it’s a societal epidemic.

So I got my 1st d*ck pick the other night…I have arrived. When you get genitalia, and spam on your threads, you…my friends….have made the cut. About time…that’s all I can say. Ms. Kardashian suffers from psoriasis…a fact I wrote about because my niece does as well…but instead of suggestions, or a simple “ignore button” I got a “Shut up bitch”. One “fan” even went as far as to Private Message me a picture of his little guy, with the message, “Bet you WANT this don’t you, you dirty slut”…….Um what? I mean, All I wrote was my niece suffers from psoriasis. There is some nasty, nasty funk running through society. But we were warned weren’t we?

Father against son, mother against daughter, cats and dogs living together (I proved that earlier this week). Christians were warned that this was going to happen. It can be argued that the End Time began at the death of Christ, but I’d rebut that when Christ died…the Kardashians weren’t popular yet! It’s the mob mentality…the same mentality responsible for the crucifixion of Christ, the same mentality responsible to the hatred of the Kardashians…the same mentality that, though nothing personal, gangs up…and spews its hatred on my FB page. There is a way to slow down it’s ebb and flow…….Either stay the hell of Facebook, the devils media (LOL), or…or…do what I try to do…and respond to each comment with kindness, understanding, patience, and if that doesn’t work, delete and ban the crap out of them. So, the little guy pic? The nicer to him I was, ‘Oh you’re adorable’ the more vicious he became. Ultimately, I thanked him for his IP address….Amazingly, the troll deleted all this comments, became very contrite, then left….I never, became hateful with him! …..LOL, a little trick I learned from a very cleaver foe. The Virus…there is no cure….there is no stopping it, but you can fight it…Kindness goes a very long way…but only you can control THAT. Gotta go, The Count, would like to do something nefarious, and now that I’m made him in charge I have to let him be in charge. See what happens when one (that is YOU) determines there will be Peace….you get to have amazing Nesquick….Report THAT Hater…now that I know who you are….sorry…Forgive me. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.

 

 

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The Longest Stretch

Please Call
Please Call

I don’t care either way Dr. Commons. Regardless of what happens…it’s almost over.“….A very exhausted Ronnie to a very understanding COD.

It’s a little self-righteous, so I should include that we’ve all been right here before….LOL, if I were to do a little dot on the map, “You are here”…it be a little black ink splotch, in the middle of a crocodile infested shark pond. The Walking Dead, a show I read every week, ain’t got jack on where I am, but seriously folks, we’ve all had the moment of visualization where the finish line appeared right before us…I mean we can see the sign that say’s, “Finish Line” but God help us…we just can’t! It took too much just to get this far. “Get up”…I’ll help you…It’s my last week of school…The Longest Stretch.…Sigh….it begins today.

I told the COD, “Pass or fail, I still win” and I do. Some pretty heavy sh*t was thrown into my path….from the anxiety that led to a friend creating a special EO blend for me, THAT I USED, to the nefarious heart attack as I was rounding the curve, I DID IT….Doesn’t matter if I get an “F”, or an “A” (which I won’t just saying), I did it. See that’s the thing people forget about victory…winning is about finishing what you started…if you’re only goal is to make it through the day, the hour, the half-hour, the second…and you do it…then you win, you may claim your victory. Victory is sweet, but you gotta see it, before you can feel it.  You’d be very disappointed to walk a mile in MY shoes, because MY shoes are the same as YOUR shoes….it may just be that due to previous life experiences, I come better prepared….

For some, winning is just making it another day without…well…killing themselves. It’s a sad truth that this time of year, brings out some heavy hitting demons. I’m not being flippant when I say I have much respect for those who continue to make it day after day, in the presence of some overwhelming odds…I mean, you want the world to just stop so you can get your bearings, but it won’t, and it won’t because if it did you wouldn’t make it. That’s the irony of life. When you’re hurting, it’s hard to face the holidays that are supposed to bring so much cheer…My personal grief, has manifested and remade itself so many times, that I can’t keep track of which demon it is that day….get it? After the terror, comes the fear….and if you’ve ever had your highest card on the table….you know The Fear….”Yea Though I Walk Through The Valley Of The Shadow Of Death” I will fear no monster that jumps out at me, from behind the rock….Sigh. The Longest Stretch simply means if you’ve made it this far…you only have a little more to go…I can’t carry you, but I can walk with you. I know you’re exhausted, I know your weary, I know the strength it takes just to get up….Do not give up, do not leave us, do not buy the tripe that you must face any of this alone…you don’t. Share your pain…and the demon no longer has control over you…We are all connected by pain; which is why we don’t cause it. I’m in my last week of school, and there is a huge monkey on my back, but I did it…There are thousands out there just like you, just like me, waiting for someone to understand. Suicide Hotline, 1-800-273-TALK….Please don’t do it…reach out one more time…You’ve fought this alone long enough….now let someone help you through the finish line. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Monday.

 

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My Sweetness Was Hurting

I DARE you to mess with them.
I DARE you to mess with them.

“You know, they’re going to get tired of reading about it. Maybe we could have sex again, and you could write about that”.  Guess Who….

“SCREW Them…and NO. You heard the Doctor.” Ronnie….

 

If I had a mom waking me up this morning, I would have asked her to give me 5 more minutes. Amazing how much sleep one needs, when one doesn’t realize they need sleep. Catching on to the phantom stomach pains hounding Sweetness for the last few days, I had a discussion with him last night about the human body.

“I know why your stomach has been hurting” Ronnie

“Why Mommy?” (he still calls me mommy)

“When your body is in a permanent state of flight or fight, and there is no end point, you run yourself down. Daddy and I are keeping nothing from you. We love you, and we are working very hard to get daddy better again. I promise. Do you understand?”.

“I think so….NO….I don’t”….

So, explaining A&P 1 and 2 to Sweetness last night, it made me realize, just a little bit, that the heart attack, stole a small part of his childhood away from him. Having a huge chunk of my childhood stolen from me too, I had so desperately hoped he would be different…Sigh. He’s supposed to feel safe and secure in the knowledge that his parents are home, they love each other, love him, and all is right in the world, BUT friends, we KNOW Life doesn’t always work like that…..Hmm, My Sweetness was hurting and I didn’t see it, because I was busy with other plans…anything else today? Perhaps I can run over a puppy while a 5yr old watches…..Grrr.

All the jokes about Nesquick, the new-found humor in heart attacks (Don’t Judge Us, we’re just trying to survive), the discussions, Googling Cardiac Diets, BP checks, Pulse Checks, Meds….NURSING SCHOOL….kept our eyes focused on us, like somehow we had dimes over our eyes….we kinda forgot, a little bit, about Sweetness. Well, I didn’t forget about him, but I’ve been so busy trying to make his life normal that I sorta forgot about the HOLE that had been carved in his soul last Monday….I never did address it…did I? Instead, I tried to steam roll over it, pretend it never happened for HIM…..but something did happen, and what’s worse, he was brutally aware of it…..He was looking for security, information, instead I gave him a facade and denial….so Ronnie failed her sweet, sweet baby boy. Gotta forgive me, I’m a little new at this whole “My husband died, then he didn’t, now he needs to be watched constantly, Screw a family up” mess…I’ll get the hang of it soon…..

So, explaining to Sweetness, the way POFF explained it to me, I said that “The Bear” he was running from…was gone…for now. He could allow his body some rest. So now, when I take the BP’s the Pulses, when I listen to his Cardiac Landmarks, I involve him, my baby boy, so he can hear what I hear, and know what I know. I’m sure on some level, he appreciates the “normal” but he wants the explanation….the inclusion into our life….more. Do we tell him everything? Like Daddy can’t have Nesquick for several weeks, even though he’s already starting to feel me up at the sink? NO, NO…we don’t share THAT with him, but watching his dad take his meds, change his batteries, eating healthy….those are the positive reinforcements he needs to see and hear…to get his life back to normal..to calm the demon in his little boy Spirit….I’m a bad mommy, but I meant well, I swear it…I SWEAR it…. Nothing like #momguilt to Eff up your day. Gotta go. The boys are arguing about Sweetness standing naked in front of the heater. That always DID bug Merrill…LOL, I think Sweetness is doing it on purpose…just so his dad can yell at him….again. My Sweetness was hurting and I didn’t see it….There really should be two of me in this world, but that would really be a cardiac challenge for Merrill….wouldn’t it? Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, “BOYS…..STOP IT”….enjoy your Tuesday.

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I Adore Merrill

It Hurts....
It Hurts….

“Jesus is broken!”

“Yes I know. He died for us, and many are still living a life of sin. I’d be broken too”.

“No. Your daughter broke the statue of Jesus you used for the Guardian Finale last season”.

“Ohhhh”

I don’t know what I would do without him in my life….I was talking to a client yesterday about her caregiver, and the relationship they shared. “You two are like a long married couple” I told her “You fight, say a bunch of stuff, then call each other to make sure you’re both okay. I get it” and I do. See, Merrill and I have been together for many, many years….I’m his TRUE LOVE 🙂 Sweetness asked his father how many girlfriends he had in his life….to my chagrin….he had to think about it…but hey, he was a cutie….a dog without a bone, he roamed near and far to find me. Ya know, Levert wrote “Casanova” just for him….so yes, he had some ladies in his life….but he told his son, “Your mother was the only one, I ever introduced as my girlfriend”…nice save Doll….nice save….my point is that I adore Merrill…he adores me…I know that. We’re not always in agreement, but we are always a team….albeit a dysfunctional one.

I’m in prayer for a friend whom made the announcement early this morning that her husband had died during the night. I’m in shock, but imagine how she feels. We know that today isn’t promised but we don’t think about that, especially when it comes to our loved ones. On 9/11 thousands lost their lives, but thousands more were effected by the tragedy. Think about it. People hit the alarm, showered, drank coffee, ate breakfast with their families, and kissed them before work…they never came home. Life is fragile. Life is precious. Life is a gift from God…but it’s also an opportunity to reach out and do what’s right by a friend….

What we should do, as a community of believers, is pray unceasingly, unyielding, unendingly….for one of our own. Christ told us that where two or more are gathered, In His Name, so too..is He with us….He gave us the secret….to having Him in our presence. Even I, must stop and really think about what having a loved one in my life means….because I don’t fear my death, just a life without them….but I know that you’d all be there for me, just as I’m asking that you be there for her. Maybe one day, a day she cannot see right now, she can be there for someone else whose lost a spouse. Until then, we protect her, we guide her, we pray over her and her family….Amen. Life like my fame is fleeting…you only get one chance…make the most of it. I adore Merrill…not always, but mostly…I have to remember that, when a friend experiences a loss. Gotta go. Sweetness on the bus, Duchess on the couch, Merrill making his coffee….all is well, and God is in His heaven…please, guide and comfort the soul of a hurting friend. We’ll give you the Praise and Glory you deserve…Amen. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Thursday.

 

 

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I Ain’t Scared Of You

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“Go directly to the Emergency Room at Carle. They will be expecting you”, and of course “SEIZURE!!!!” The two times Ronnie almost lost her children….or so it felt.

I haven’t shared the story of the day my son’s tonsils went septic, but just know that 2 Carle RN’s lost their job, and Ronnie learned how to tell “Establishment” to “suck it”…believe that. See, up until you watch your child almost DIE in front of you, your view of what sucks, it quite debateable. I know life CAN suck, it is to the degree that it actually sucks that we disagree. I’ve experienced the death of good friends, grandparents, and parents, but until you’re praying to God for the life of your precious child….well let’s just say, “I Ain’t Scared Of You”…Millineals, you have no idea how bad it can truly get.

Trust me, I get it. Honestly, what I’ve done, and what I survived is/was the catalyst that drove me though the experiences of my 30’s and 40’s….I think surviving the fear that your child may DIE, is a lot like walking out of the dark house, into the dawn, after a night with Jason. I don’t take away what someone is going through, after all, it is VALID, I’m just saying enjoy, learn and LIVE through it, because like that nerd game of the 80’s you pick up…skills, weapons, friends, and prayers as you survive each encounter. I really don’t know why bad things happen to good people, but I do know that had I not gone through all I’ve gone through (and survived), I’d never be able to Empathize with the scared…and really….

Isn’t that what’s it’s all about? We, the Zombie Survivors, are the real leaders, hero’s and saints of society. Having someone lead me through that dark night, then leading someone else through it myself, I can tell you Politician’s are not the leaders…they’re distractions. I’ve never had my heart touched, like it was, when I sat and had a conversation with Devon’s mom a few weeks back. My God, she watched her son on the ground bleeding…DYING…I did that too you know? Oh Lord, if I could have given 20 years of my life to give her her son back, I would have. I wish I had the arrogance of my 20’s back…If you’re going through something, rejoice in it, bath in it, live in it, and learn from it. There’s a reason for it….maybe you’ll be leading others through the zombies, or maybe, you’ll be fighting your own Jason one day, but if you DO…..know that I fought him first, and I know how to get you out of there…See, that’s the thing about us old ladies, we’ve written the book on what you’re going through, and we know how to get you out…not bad for a 40 something Kick Boxing Rockstar right? “I Ain’t Scared Of You” and I’m not. If you’ve been through, and fought what I’ve been through and fought, you’d be an obnoxious asshole too…I’d love to show you how to win, but I can’t until you recognize that you need win, and sometimes, that’s the hardest shell to crack. It’s Friday, enjoy it. I love and enjoy everyday of my and my babies life….Nefarious Mess taught me that to suffer, is to LIVE. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Friday.

 

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When The Angels Cry

angelweepingEvery mother in Danville, would offer a piece of her soul to Christ, to bring this baby back. See, mommies get it. We carry these beautiful creature in our bodies for 9 months and for the rest of their beautiful life, we try to protect them from all the boogymen in the world….but that’s the illusion….we can’t. It’s not fair….she did not nothing wrong….He did nothing wrong……and death laughs in our face…but screw you DEATH……you UNITED us. We are a way more dangerous people now…See, the death of a child will do that….Unite strangers…….Death meant to divide us, but instead he united us…IRONY it’s a bitch…..I’ll save the preaching for later, right now, we have a mother to comfort. My heart hurts, this must be what it feels like When The Angels Cry.

Sigh….It’s an illusion that we can protect them forever….  a painful reminder that we still live in a very fallen world….he belongs here with his mother….The angels believe it too, and they weep…..Sin may have already been defeated, but it’s still allowed to roam in this world…….See, this is where the World has it twisted….we cannot play before we pay. We’ve done our brethren a great disservice….letting them believe that all they do is okay, as long as others are not hurt, but we know that isn’t true, don’t we? For this baby showed us, that death can come, like a thief, at anytime, anywhere….it doesn’t have to be fair, or unfair…..it’s just Death. God gave us a way out….See, He knew that death would roam, and create chaos in his wake….For as sin entered the world through a man, it will LEAVE this world through a MAN. Devon showed us, that death doesn’t play by the rules….. but neither do we. We have prayer, we have the angels, we have CHRIST….and He tells us to protect her, to pray for her and for each other……it really is the only thing we can do….When The Angels Cry, while she fights her own demons…..we let our prayers be our words…..I am so very sorry, sister-mother. I’ll pray for you. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.

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Grief And Loss

My Beautiful British Ozarkian Grandmother
My Beautiful British Ozarkian Grandmother

I’ve been doing it all wrong. I should be writing terrible things about celebrities then wait for one to see it and defend themselves. I am, by no means, a celebrity, but I get what it’s like to have someone think they can grab a piece of you, simply because you put your stuff out there. A blogger, whose name I will not promote, critized SJP  for her #metgala2016 choice. No, I am not a fashion blogger, but yes, I do follow them. This “blogger” awakened today to world-wide fame as SJP responded to her cruel remarks via Instagram. I don’t want that…..I want to be the kind of person who gets you through difficult times with humor, wit and nefarious language…I like that! My heart is bruised today as an old, familiar pain rears it’s ugly head. Grief and Loss….sigh…She would have been 89…..

A broken heart never fully heals, and I’m not immune to sorrow. Someone, in pain themselves, reached out to me and asked me if the pain of loss ever gets better? Yes and No. No, because we never truly make it over a loss…that part of our heart, like a limb, is now gone, but YES, what we DO is learn to live with the loss, like learning how to live…without a limb. All that, as it rolls around in my head, makes sense….but….I would give anything to hear her chide me again. Actually, I saved her last VM to me, 6 years ago…Sigh….

When dealing with grief and loss, the best understanding of how to survive it, is to know that it doesn’t go away, we just make it a new reality. If we believe the promise, we’ll be united one day…she… believed the promise. My grandmother was taken from me, she didn’t leave; but if I think about it, it’s the only way she would leave her family..kicking and screaming……she lived her life, on her terms….Do you KNOW anyone like that? She had a beautiful Ozarkian, British Accent, and could dress you down, while sounding adorable. She told a visiting pastor once, as he sat across from her, “Pastor, I don’t suppose you approve of me drinking this beer, and smoking this cigarette”….pause for dramatic effect.…”Well, I don’t give a damn, what you think”, and that was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. I do think that we find pieces of them in others. That’s the Grace of God right there because sometimes in the face AND actions of Duchess, I see that angel…and that…makes me cry. I gotta go. Happy Birthday Grandma. I trust you found everything up to par. I haven’t dreamed about you in a while…does that mean I’m over you….or are you busy….with others? You’re welcome to come see me…..sniff, sniff. I love you. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. Be KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Cinco de Mayo…she always got a laugh out of that.

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