“Now that we have 45 minutes less of light, I try to get out here earlier. I’ll only be out here 4 more Friday’s”…Ice Cream man to Ronnie.
“Chris, do you realize we’re in our late 40’s now?” Ronnie
“And do you also realize that I’ve known you since I was 17?”
“Doesn’t that make you feel old?”
In HS I had this thing for surfers and skaters. One of my best friends, “Ka Pua” (Hawaiian for flower), will testify that if a guy had a bandana and ear-ring, I got first crack. My HS boyfriend was a surfer of sorts, so it’s easy to see why I fell head over heels in love with Merrill, a bandana wearing skater, when I first met him. I look back at those years with a great sense of peaceful nostalgia. I regret NOTHING. Chris and a few of you know me from those days….I’m sure when I become Nefarious, you’ll all get book deals yourself…go ahead. My closet is NOT clean, but screw it…I’ve did what I did….can’t change it….and even if I could I wouldn’t. Seasons Change….but so did I….and I am so honored by each of you….from the bottom of my heart, I thank you, and I love you…
I KNOW I hit the jackpot. I told Merrill as we were traveling back from San Francisco, that I was a blessed woman. I’m overwhelmed with all God has given me, in each of you. I struggled so much as a child….I mean, GOD.. I didn’t have the social graces of a sloth…it was so hard for me to engage and then trust. Only the girls from the block truly understood me, and they were the bestest friends a girl could have, like the “Stand By Me” friends from Stephen King, I was also picked on, because it was too easy. It never occurred to me that one day, I’d be answering hundreds of well-wishes for my birthday. I still can’t believe that I mean something to you….it’s hard to fathom that I would be important enough to acknowledge…but that’s the little girl inside of me….SHE has been my closest confident since childhood….and slowly she’s being placed into retirement.
Seasons Change….Sigh….that which I found endearing at 17 matters little to me now. I’ve been with the same man, longer than I’ve been without him, and while he’s still smoking HOT in a bandana (oh yeah, he’s wearing one tonight), watching him have a tea party with his daughter tonight, made me want him! IDGAF if that’s TMI for you. I’ve changed…The difference in the two Ronnie’s is that the one at 17, would probably not post a selfie of herself, half-naked, and it WAS hard to do that this am, don’t get that mess twisted, but I trusted you all enough to just close my eyes and hit POST! I mean, I looked at that picture a dozen times and picked it apart….I was ruthless to myself….and while I still can’t see what you all see, the more I put myself out there, the more empowered I become by your support. WHY?….Why have you all give me so much? Okay, some words of wisdom: Don’t question the Grace, don’t belittle yourself, don’t begrudge yourself, and for Heaven’s sakes, do NOT….ever….never….ever take a supportive friendship for granted. I wish I had more answers for you, I wish I had the magic words to make you all whole, I wish I had the passage that would touch your soul, but I don’t. What I do have, though, I freely offer to you, because you all first loved me. Seasons Change, thank you Jesus…I leave you with one final parting word of wisdom. The Kingdom Key to LIFE #1 is simply this: People may not remember all you’ve done for them, but the one thing they’ll never forget is how you made them feel. They will support you and pray for all your days on this earth. So, take heart Little Sisters…..had I succeeded at 17, when I tried to desperately to end my life, I would not be here to be so honored today.
Like time…I may have 45 minutes less…..but it will be written, “Here lies Ronnie. She was verily loved“….I KNOW I AM. May God Grace and Bless each and every one of you today. I will never be able to convey how much you all mean to me. Thank you. Be Blessed.
Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Saturday.