Tag: Life

You Gotta Want It












It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” commercial promoting Disney Land on television. Ugh….



As I was walking out onto my back porch a few days ago, I felt the chill in the air, and smelled the wood burning from some rich person’s back yard fireplace, and then I FELT the season….sorta. I sorta felt it, so much so, that I was tempted to grab a rake and rake the leaves in my back yard…I didn’t. Mostly because I think Dudley popped in them….but still, I did take down my Halloween decorations and put up my Thanksgiving decorations, so I am making progress. I think the trick to anything we do, is to make it our own. Out here in beautiful Northern California, the people outnumber the land by a margin of 10 to 1, and yet, I can still make a path….Like Nursing School, or just Nefariousness…You Gotta Want It….. nothing good in life is going to be given unto thee….

You could have heard a pin drop when I told my new friend I had a Publicist. She was like, “What?“….Yeah, but my beautiful Publicist hasn’t been able to do much for me out here, and so, it’s just nice to say I have one….you know, like telling people you have a Hermes that you may not use, it’s a class thing….and I giggle at that. Saturday night, there was an auction component with the gala…I won three months of official Kickboxing lessons, ( I am so going to beat some ASS), but as we were finishing up with dinner, the other items were going for thousands, I couldn’t believe it, so I leaned over and told my new friend, “Some day, when I become Nefarious, I too, will be able to bid $5,000 on a home cooked meal“…..Golf Club Membership went for $20,000….It’s like I told Merrill, having the option is nice yes? Here’s my point….

This amazing area is so full of opportunity, that it’s begging me to offend it. I belong to a Nursing Group and quite often the same question is asked over and over….”How do I succeed in Nursing School” to wit I always respond, “You have to be humble, remain teachable, and above all, You Gotta Want It“….Really, it’s the same way you succeed in LIFE. When you set out on a path, you will be tried, because your Faith must be tested, and you must be found worthy. I don’t believe life cares if you fail in your endeavors, life only cares that you tried….and the truth is, a failure isn’t a failure, but a success down the road. I’m finding out there are a lot of options for nurses here…..A LOT….you cannot jump on every opportunity, because quite a few are not good fits. I’m also finding out that if you’re of an offensive nature, people will LIKE you! It’s weird, it’s like being paid to call someone a bitch; which I can do….I’m just saying. Maybe they’ll let me write a real column out here, where I condemn their granola eating, cat walking lives, and then they’ll give me money to walk on a stage, and tell all the Little Sisters to wait to have sex, because most boys don’t know what they’re doing anyway, and really, who wants their first time to be in the back of a Toyota with a boy who just got hair on his chest? Ya know, I think I could sell it….I just need my Publicist to get off her ass, and work it for me. Okay, gotta go. Kiddo’s need up….You Gotta Want It, and you do. Hone your craft, work your plan, get people to know you, make mistakes, be offensive, DO YOU….and I swear to all things Coach, you will arrive…..now get out there, and sell yourself….but only in the states where it’s legal. Be Blessed.

Wanted: Publicist for Northern California

Must be strong-minded, opinionated, knowledgeable of all obscenity laws, and willing to post bail when necessary. Must share in my dream to be Nefarious, must be just as offensive, and just as driven as I. Must be willing to stand your ground, and back me up, even if you disagree with me….inbox me for more details.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Wednesday.



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Adult Education

This is pretty sexy
This is pretty sexy











Say it!

I’m totally head over heals in love with you, and I love being a father to our children


Adult Education.

The dog, does not come off this throne easily. A long time ago, when his fat ass was just still a puppy, we’d put him in the bed with us, and let him whimper himself to sleep. Over the years, and because he wasn’t an incredible bed hog, we let him stay, so that now, the bottom half the bed is filled with the furry goodness we like to call Tuck. Truth is, when Merrill isn’t in town, and the kiddo’s are nestled up beside me, his fat, snoring self is quite assuring. He’s ten now, and so far into his nightly entitlements, that to try to gently shoo him from the foot of the bed, usually brings about great growling and gnashing of his big, dog fangs, but the one truth that’s remained steadfast in our history with Tuck, is that whether you come, stay, lay or pray, he doesn’t care what you do on the bed, as long as you leave his outwardly expanding space alone. Adult Education….the married life may not be romantic, but sexy is now a man you can call the father of your children, and soul mate.

I find hubby amazingly sexy. Is that wrong? I mean, for almost a quarter of a century, I have been with, lived with, ate with, and raised children with the very same man, who back when he was 19, adorably asked me if I wanted to thumb wrestle. I can honestly say, with a certain degree of certainly, that I loved him, the moment I saw him, but we’re now one-fourth of the way through the 100’s together, and I look into his deep blue eyes, and still feel that tingle that drew me to him oh so many years ago. Well, that or indigestion, but what’s sexy to me now, wasn’t sexy to me then. Now, if he’s rolling around the ground with the kids, or helping them with homework, a hormone, one of the precious few I have left, will start to tingle, and then, I’ll feel the desire to jump his bones….but if he hasn’t done any that stuff, or won’t put on a freaking bandana for me, his DANCE becomes a gamble of sorts. He can spin that Roulette Table, but I can’t guarantee him any winnings:

  • Touch on the lower back…NOPE, she jerked away….
  • Touch on the lower back…..she hasn’t moved…..maybe….
  • Moves fingers around more….still not rebutting advances….looking good
  • Moving in closer….not rebutting…BUT not moving….She’s asleep…Do NOT wake her UP!
  • Kiss on the neck…she’s moving, but not screaming….looking good.
  • Blowing HOT breath in her ear…..”NO!”….

I’m not some prude that goes to bed in curlers and a full-length, flannel gown. I mean I KNOW what I have…. the problem is that unlike our past glory days where our passion would take ANYWHERE/ANY TIME, we are parents now, with children whom possess acute c*ckblocking abilities, therefore, married passion, mandates that we either become creative James Bond type lovers, or we wait until after the little crumb snatchers go to bed, in which case, we’re so tired trying to outwit them, we sleep too. Adult Education is trying to navigate Nesquick with a 80lbs fat ass on the bed, moving and weaving between babies that had “bad dreams”, trying to keep your flesh awake (the Spirit is willing) so that you can spend some personal time rewarding your spouse for helping your son do his homework, not wanting to turn off Law and Order, a show you’ve seen a thousand times, because you’ve had a bad day too…When you were young and in love, any surface would do, but now that you’re older and you’ve transversed the world together, LIFE, mandates that you now be creative, instead of impulsive, and be honest….the preschooler will only watch so much Toy Story 3, before she goes looking for YOU!….Adult Education, it’s what they don’t teach you in relationship class that will kill your bond, if you let it….Find time to be with your partner, your equal, your soul-mate….even if…the dog (and now), the cat, has to watch. Achoo….Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Tuesday.





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Note To Self

Seventeen....and life to go.
Seventeen….and life to go.











Note To Self, “You are going to be an amazing warrior one day. You just have to live through tonight. Please, just live through tonight”….Ronnie to Ronnie…


Everyday….EVERY…..EFFING DAY…..there are 5,240 suicide attempts by youth between the grades of 7-12. (Youth Suicide Statistics). Stop this madness……

Dear Ronnie,

You can’t see him right now, but he’s standing and watching you from the corner, waiting for you to be successful. If you survive tonight, you’ll go on to ACCOMPLISH much in the name of God…I  promise, and he cannot have that. I know you,’re feeling hopeless, helpless, unwanted and unloved, but you are not unloved, nor unwanted…you just can’t see your Truth. Ya know, if you succeed…everyone will wake up tomorrow, and you will not. It’s just that simple BOO….Life will go on without you…the world will not stop, and all you’ll succeed in doing, is creating confusion and pain for those left behind. You will devastate your family! Trust me, you will carry this pain for years….I can’t help that….and I’ll validate that your life was unfair…..but sitting here in the dark, pills in hand, you’re not realizing the full potential of all that you’ll lose or all that you’ll FIND…. You will be an amazing Warrior one day, and I promise you, in a few short years, The bullies do die, because you find a way to beat them, your heart does find joy, your Prince will come, your life does get better because you find Peace! You have three babies that bring you much happiness….but you you must endure tonight….Jesus please, help her endure tonight.

(Ronnie at 46, sitting on the bed, in the dark, next to Ronnie at 17)

Truth is, Ronnie (17) did take the pills…..SMH….Guess there is GRACE. I asked my readers the question, “What would you say to your 17yr old self“, and as usual, the responses were on point. If we were allowed messages from the future, I’d sneak in the note, “Endure” because Endurance is the Promise that things do get better…..they always….get better, but when you’re a hopeless teen, with a broken heart, bullied and dealing with hurts from the past, you cannot see that…So, Note To Self.…What would you tell your 17yr old self, sitting on the bed, in the dark?

From Some of You:

Anonymous- It is a great quality to see the good in people and the world. But not everyone will have your best interest at heart. Don’t let your experiences harden you..But don’t feel guilty when your gut tells you to keep someone at a distance. Your gut is usually right. Also, be kind..even if someone else isn’t kind to you. Your actions speak to your character, not theirs. Lastly, the trauma you experienced in your past does not define you. Don’t let it rule the rest of your life. You are so much more than that.

Note- Your gut is ALWAYS right.

Lacey WatersAt that time I was a straight “A” highschool dropout. I was with a guy 8 years my senior. School was a luxury, because I had to work, and had been on my own since 15. I could say I would tell myself to run when I met the boys dad. But, I wouldn’t have my boys then. So… I would have said, finish school no matter what, and as soon as you find out you’re pregnant with Blake. Get the hell outta there.

Kathy IsaBrat ShawNever let fear hold you back from your dreams and goals. You’ll never know till you try. Love your life, love yourself, and be kind. But don’t be a doormat. Having faith, dignity, and courage is a good thing. If it’s to Good to be true, it usually is. Don’t just give away your gold to any old miner. There’s something to be said for holding out for something real and honest. Be discerning! Never sell yourself short! Own your mistakes and learn from them. Running away is never good unless being chased by some crazy fool who thinks you should put up with their abuse. Don’t gamble, don’t do drugs, and don’t give up on yourself. You are worth it.

Keri Ellen WhiteFinish college at western state no matter what it takes, and stop dating the “bad guys” because they will kick your a** no matter how much you think your love will change them.


Wilma M Allen-DeWittHaving a one year old daughter at this age, I would say to myself… Remember how strong you are, keep believing and stay focused on your dreams for yourself and daughter…ppl are not who you think or say they are, don’t believe the mean words, the whispers behind your back, or the bullying that many put you through. But still have fun and enjoy life. Finish all your goals…graduate (which I did) find your greatest job (which I did).
I also got pregnant again @ this age…I DO NOT regret it, but don’t marry this child’s father!
Marry the one to whom you were supposed to marry 22yrs ago, but are married to him now. Lol…

Jerry Perez- Love to live and live to Love!

Marcy Vincent DeanTravel more, study less, worry less, spend less, save more, follow your heart but listen to your guy, conquer your fears, love more, pray more.

Note To Self…..Ronnie, you’re going to be okay sweetheart. You’ll go on to earn a few degrees, have beautiful babies, become a writer people LOVE, and you’ll make lots and lots of amazing Nesquick….with the man, who asks you to thumb wrestle (hint: Say yes). Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Gentleness, Faithfulness and Self-control…the Fruits of the Spirit, the Fruits of Success, the Fruits of our future….the Fruits of our Lives….Life gets better because we eventually accept the reality that there are some things we can change, and some things we cannot…..May God have Mercy upon the 5, 240 souls that try today….I does….get better….I promise. Please ENDURE…..Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Tuesday.





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Unto Every Season







I’m like a dog on a chain“…Ronnie…in 2000


In Bible College, (yes I have a degree in Theology) I had to write a paper about which Disciple I felt I aligned with my values the most. My husband is more like the Paulian type of personality, while I am Peter….Impulsive, impetuous, loving, passionate, and very much like a dog…on a chain. Christ had to pull Peter back many times, because He knew Peter wasn’t ready, and so I understand…even if it frustrates me a great deal…..why some things don’t work out for me….as much as I’d like. If there’s any ONE personality flaw, it’s that I don’t like CHANGE. I do not seek change, I do not address change, and 9 times out of 10, I will go out of my way to avoid Change at a party…it’s because I like my stuff in its place, and I like all the places for my stuff…..I was going to title this, “Change” but have now adopted, “Unto Every Season“….you’ll understand why….in a moment.

I haven’t been a new Christian in hundreds of years, but I could tell you a little about their qualities. They are EAGER…which just about sums it up. See, once someone experiences the Grace that only Christ can offer, they become a big bundle, of baby joy, and all they want to do is go around telling people about Christ. They’re on their little chubby baby legs, smiling, because they’ve found new life, and so they become pets…on leashes….and they start running…to anyone…to share the news…..Eventually, that passion wears down a bit, they become older, like Paul said, Milk isn’t good anymore…these Christians need Meat and Potatoes, and so if they have a mentor, they begin the real study of Christ…..but serving God….requires not only a change of heart, but a change in attitude as well. It is at this point in your Discipleship that you’re going to be judged, ignored, pushed out…things are going to happen so fast, your head will spin, and to boot it up, you may find that God, changed the seasons on you…without asking your permission first…..

And so, Unto Every Season, a time is appointed. There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to weep, a time to laugh, a time for joy, a time for pain, and in our daily lives….there are times with the babies, times to clean, times to call friends, times to work….times to move….Ya know, it’s a great big world out there. God has given us some beautiful property….He created the heavens, the stars, the moons, the skies, the oceans, the mountains….and created us…for each other. I dunno, sometimes when you sit back and just take in the vast amount of what He has given us, how then…do you say no…when He’s called you for another purpose? Sometimes, it’s in that OTHER purpose, that you will find, that break you were so desperately seeking….kinda like the diamond in the candy bar…(I don’t know who would do that). To serve God, means to KNOW…that Change will come….Unto Every Season...and so, I often find myself at great odds between what He wants for me, and what I want for myself; which is usually to be left alone and to have things done My Way….There is indeed a time for everything….if you trust Him, you’ll trust Him to figure out the time for you…but yeah, I kinda like being in control Lord….it’s the Peter in me, and don’t judge me father….You put there….not me. Take stock in what’s going in your life, then try to see if it’s really Him…changing the seasons on you…..It’s not a bad thing, because we trust, He only wants good and pure for us, and besides, the seasons change…whether we like it or not….Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Friday.

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Stay Hungry








Hey, I’m leaving to go running. See ya later! “….Ronnie to Merrill….

Merrill was sleeping this morning as I was standing naked over him. If I had had nefarious intents, it would have been too easy…but I was just changing into my “Under Armor” (hollar) clothing to run…besides, he had his back to me, and being a woman of sport, I didn’t want barrel fish…Truth is if/when Merrill and I argue, I like the fight to be fair. I’m not a sucker puncher…..and I did digress. See, the thing about Merrill is that he rolled over, saw my naked ass booty in all its glory, then went back to sleep….He’s not hungry……his tank must be full…Hmmmm, I’ll remember that later….Stay Hungry….it’s the only way you’ll ever get what you want…..NEVER let your tank get full.

Part of my charm, aside from the potty mouth, and vile treatment of Merrill, is that you all recognize my hunger….I am HUNGRY. It’s that desire to be a better person, that draws you next to me….. Whether I’m beating the crap out of my class, pushing my own body to its extreme limits, or simply thinking of new ways to get over the Facebook blockout, you guys know that I desire to be more than what I currently am…Get it?  It’s not my fault…For God’s SAKES, I’m running on a Saturday morning….I would love to still be in bed like Merrill, but we have an agreement…I let him sleep in with Duchess, a TOT whose turning out to be more like me than I’m comfortable admitting, and I get to nap at noon….Mmm, love my power naps…..but I do like what running EARNS me…and while I’d love to just drown my sorrows in diet pills….that would not be very Role Model worthy, and I could end up hurting myself. No, it’s a lot like saving my money to buy that Chanel bag. I’m going to appreciate it more, than if I find it at a Yard Sale for a dollar; which BTW, if you’re selling a Chanel at your sale for a dollar, I’m very interested……just saying…..What I’m trying to say, my friends, is this…

Stay Hungry….never, EVER have enough….never, EVER be satisfied with what you have….always look for the opportunities to improve yourself…always look for ways to be a service to another. I have at least 3 friends reading this that WANT to run, but don’t know how to start…..They want to be Nefarious, but don’t know how to get the evil ball rolling…I’m here to tell you…you gotta experiment, try, fail, try again….. pick the brains of those who have the means to help you….You want fame, Nefariousness, career, enlightenment? Earn it….work it…..Run it….then when you think you’ve had enough…go back for seconds….. See, half the problem with society, is we’re getting too many Garage Sale Chanel’s….I don’t judge…I have a pair of Gucci’s from the Goodwill….but one day, I’ll get that Hermes….and it will be brand, spanking new….it’ll look good…with my amazing body….Feel me?  I gotta go….I want to be Nefarious….I gotta earn it….this…is where it starts….You want what I have? Then do what I do….Let’s Roll. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Saturday.


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Labor & Delivery










Haters gonna hate. Sometimes, the hater is the Instructor”…Ronnie to a classmate yesterday.

There is no proof that I had one Instructor this year that was a Hater. If anything, I think they did all they could, within the Cannons of their Ethics, to help me…so if I have any Instructors reading this, know I’m not talking about you. Actually, I’m not even talking about Teachers….I’m talking about LIFE, and how teachers are just a small part of it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, and had reinforced in OB, is that life goes to hell very quickly. The genesis of life, that is your entrance into this hell hole we call Earth, is a perfect example of what’s going to happen to you later….you may come in with some modicum of fanfare….but trust me…you’re not special…eventually chaos will get to you too….Labor & Delivery, it’s what you do about it, that makes you a hero to me.

So that’s a good build-up….Labor & Delivery….all the ultrasounds, exams, palpitations and digit explorations in the world will not prepare YOU….for what happens when everything goes wrong….you may be scheduled to give birth on Christmas, but that baby may chose to come Thanksgiving….LOL, you’re not in control….THAT’S LIFE…. When I think about women of  yesterday, and what happened when the process went BSC….I shudder….they didn’t have what we have today, and yet, women today still die…when Princess decided to make her Grand Entrance into my life…she did so…at 10lbs (how the MD didn’t see that coming I have no idea), but also she got stuck in the birth canal….I was the teaching case for OB that night….she almost died….

When Merrill placed Duchess on the floor that fateful morning in October 2012, we were looking forward to the day off together. Maybe chase each other around the house…have some NESQUICK…..but as he placed her on the floor and walked away, she slumped….and seized….Hmmm…I remember my phone ringing on Monday the 7th of November…Merrill had dropped dead on the basketball floor (that’s a great analogy)….Life…death….Labor & Delivery…CONTROL…it’s an illusion…..Actually, the very fact that you think you’re in control shows just how much humility you’re gonna need..to get by…I know humility….I know what it’s like to be broken, I wouldn’t wish that upon you……Labor & Delivery takes but a moment, a split second in time….to Eff Up your day. LOL, “The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men, often go awry” and if you don’t know that quote, your school failed you. I gotta go….it’s my final test of the year….Great Caesars Ghost….I freaking did it….this plane crash, cluster mess….is over. I think I may cry….and I’ll simply end with, “Be Blessed”….

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Wednesday…..

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She was thinking of you“…Merrill

Everyone thinks of me, and it’s an amazing feeling to be thought well of…instead of hiding in fear“….Ronnie and Merrill discussing a text a friend sent.

It is TRUE, that to be thought of well, is by far better than to be the target of evil gossip! I only WISH I was Ronnie back then….Today, I’ll beat your ass, and I MEAN it…I’ll…beat….your….ass! Yesteryear, it was all I could do to keep my head up…even if a bully never touches you, it’s still a metaphoric blow, by blow to the head…it crushes your spirit…kills your soul…..YET even in all that….I didn’t learn my greatest lesson. In this life, you will have achieved final enlightenment, when you can honestly admit that you don’t know JACK. If you have problems admitting that, simply enroll in Nursing School, where they will be all too happy (a little too happy me thinks) to disavow you of the notion that you…are educated. Add that to a girl who brings emotional baggage to the table, and you will find yourself in the front row of a classic battle of Good vs. Mediocre. Hmm, Mediocre…I like it.

For as long as our relationship has been in existence, Merrill has said to me, “You’re always so guarded“. You might be asking yourself why, or how I could possible be so guarded with the man I have shared EVERYTHING with, for the last (almost) quarter century. My simple answer is, “I don’t know”….God help me…I don’t know. It isn’t as if he doesn’t know my secrets, but anything that makes me appear weak, (Hallmark commercials, Old Yeller, Charlotte’s Web),  I hold back. I mean, the only way he’s (or you’ll) ever seen me cry is if the dam to my soul breaks….There are abscesses in my soul. Places that holds the rotting food, where the deepest darkest secrets of my life are hidden… I wish I was exaggerating, but just let it be understood, that even in my dysfunction, I cannot be, I will not be…Medorcre, so even my dysfunction isn’t the mundane kind. Well, go big, or go home..that’s what I never say.

Wait! Am I being self-righteous? Yes…yes I am, but understand that I learned a long time ago that only the wounded, can lead the wounded. Only the broken can lead the broken, so if I tell you I am of the Nobility….The Countess of Chaos, Baroness of Brokeness, the Duchess of Dysfunction, the Princess of Picadillo’s, I do so to let you know I know where you are, and I know how to move you forward. No one was meant for mediocrity….for in mediocrity you’re not really living, not really dying….and I may be Bat Sh*t Crazy, but even I know that’s no way to life your life. Nursing School has taught me that you’re either hot, or cold…you cannot be lukewarm, or you will FAIL….I suppose that’s a good thing, have you ever met a Nurse that hates her job? I don’t get that….they destroy you, then rebuild you. You go through all that hell to hate your job? No thank you. I do have to go. Final tomorrow, and I’ll spend the rest of this day crying. It’s not so bad. When you struggle to be Good over Mediocre, Great isn’t too far behind. Well, here’s to me…and those like me…may we all let our guard down a little bit today….life was meant for living…who knows, one day, maybe in your brokenness, you’ll show someone else how to heal their wounds…and in the end…that’s what life is all about. Helping other’s get through theirs…Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Wednesday. Duchesses show and tell day 🙂


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Between Life And Death

22-angel-wings-template-free-cliparts-that-you-can-download-to-you-0TZcV3-clipartGoodbye Baby Girl. I love you“. Ronnie saying goodbye

In what my 1st day on the job christening, we had a medic call in which a daughter could not reach her father by phone. Apparently, she had tried to call him for a few days with no results, so worried, she called the police…my ambulance had the honor of accompanying the police to the home for the well-person’s check. Upon approach, an observant purveyor would make note of the newspapers on the porch, the answering machine blinking “12, 12, 12” messages, the mail in the box….Sigh…this wasn’t going to be good…as the locksmith was breaking and entering, the police officer said to me, “Do you have a good sense of smell?”, “It’s my gift” I told him…and sure enough, the minute the door cracked, I knew…I knew it would be a hard call to the daughter….Between Life And Death….you’ll find me, and those like me. We didn’t ask for this, but we’ll perform our duties to the best that God gave us.

It’s been a bad week. The joke is that I can take almost any emergency, except the ones that involve my family, and make it my bitch!  That’s because the stakes are higher…Know what I mean? In this field, we (I) know how the story ends for many, so when we (I) see the story beginning for our own, we do freak out…and why not? It’s OUR most precious possessions. I’ve counseled and been there for many, many, MANY people who are facing crises….make it a crises that involves my own, and I need prayer. In the field, I’ve had the most esteemed honor of walking some very beloved people home. It’s been my gift, it’s been my pleasure…but it doesn’t come without pain. I’ve done this job for 10 yrs…10, and it never gets easy, and that’s because Death has many faces. It will take some when they least expect it, “Now I lay me down to sleep”, and then for others, it will wait at the door. I’ve often wondered why GOD chose me….to walk them out. He still has yet to answer me…but until He does, I keep on…keeping on.

Between Life and Death, you will find me, and those like me. No one should come into this world alone, and no one should leave this world alone. When the end comes, and it will come, we don’t all get to keep death waiting. You can laugh, you can cry, but when it’s your own…you’ll struggle too. There is no promise in the Bible that He will not give you more than you can handle….that’s crap. It’s a story made up by Christians, because they can’t just shut up and listen, in a time of great strife. He WILL give you way more than you can handle, or He’ll stay out of it all together, but the promise is not…that He won’t pile a bunch of crap on you….The promise is that He won’t TEMPT you…big difference my friends. My struggle with Him, is that in all the situations I’ve encountered, the prerogative of life and death is still His…and what IF….He doesn’t want to be gracious toward me and mine? I’m not so naive as to believe that prayer will protect me….it won’t. Babies die, Seniors leave, and husbands have Widow Makers….the only thing keeping me sane, is the fact that I have too much going on, to think about any one threat. Yes, I am in denial, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Between Life and Death….my struggles to be what God chose me to be, but I am only human, and I am only weak…I may be stronger than I think, but I’m also weaker than you believe….Love that irony. I may cry later, I may drink later, but what I will not do is quit…even if I am a tad bit dehydrated. Gotta go…Looks like Merrill sutures are opening…..Of course they are….this is MY life….but I do love it…and I’m so honored that God chose ME to live it. I am going in ER/ICU medicine….pretty sure Death and I will get to know each other well there….he should know I don’t let go easy…Sigh…Pray for me. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Thursday.

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Round and Round


Endocrine System…Alrighty Then….Lets Roll“….Ronnie being sarcastic.

I only have a minute. Duchess is sick, and it’s a matter of time before her brother turns up the same. I’m guessing RSV, because it happens every year (and it’s going around), but who knows. Maybe there’s a mutated virus out there that we haven’t encountered yet. Merrill is sitting comfortably in his Bears chair, spending most of his 1st night at home (post surgery) in the very unforgiving king sized bed. One arm in a sling, he’s practically useless… I’m kidding….sorta. I did make it a point to wake up several times last night to admin his pain meds. I was up anyway. Duchess and I also slept in the Bears chair, because Duchess had a 103, with a cough that even Mucinex couldn’t help. She also vomited this morning….Round and Round…..of course this WOULD happen, the day before the Endocrine Test….

Life goes on, and in that truth, we find our Joy. “How can we find joy in loss?” you ask….Well, had the father given us a stop watch, and said, “Press pause to grieve'” would you reset? Probably not, because it takes a great deal of strength, strength we may not possess, to get up when wounded. Life like the Proverbial Best Friend, picks us up, even when we don’t want to be bothered, and like our best friend, it will not allow us to stay down.

So here I sit, stuck in the middle of the One Armed Bandit, and Girl Vomitus. I have to study, I have to go get the dogs, I have to go pick up some Sprite, because a good mommy gets Sprite when the babies vomit. As a digression, I gotta believe “Vomit Relief” isn’t exactly what Sprite had in mind when they created the product…but trust me, it works. I could sit on this damned couch all day, and enjoy nothing but nothingness, but that wouldn’t be good for me, nor my family. Life, the amazing gift from a loving Creator, keeps going…like the Blue Line in Chicago, because without its constant motion, we would die…I know strife….I know loss….I know adversity, and I would have never made it without the constant Merry-go-round motion of life. So, Round and Round….Here we are again. The Eve of a test, anxiety biting the back of my brain….LOL, Welcome Back! Here’s a riddle, what does Diabetes Insipidus, Hyperthyroidism, ABG’s and Lab Values have in common? I don’t know jack about any of them and they’re a part of the Endocrine System….Oh well, at least it’s only 2 chapters….2- 200 pg chapters….Round and Round….Duchess is sick again, but it’s okay, I’ll get in the game…#momlife, but it would be nice to take a quick break..if only for a second. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.


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This Is The Day


February 22, 2017. Hmmm“….Ronnie mulling over the significance of the date.

I once watched an SNL skit, or was it a rap video…I don’t remember, because the artistic creation wasn’t as important as the message. “It” (the person for the purposes of identification) was burning money, or throwing away gold, or something. It just seemed wasteful to me, and why wouldn’t it?. Gold and money are indeed a precious commodity. I’ll take a step further, and say that LIFE, the gift of a perfect Creator to His perfect creation is a more precious standard than the aforementioned gifts. “This Is The Day“….May God forbid it’s your last. For what does a man gain, if in the process of living, he loses his life? Or something like that…..LOL.

Hell, even Christ Himself admitted that He doesn’t know at what time, or what day, someone’s life will end. Let me reiterate that for those of you who missed it. Christ….Himself…..doesn’t know….your end day….Nor the end day of the world. That’s because it wasn’t important. See, we make it important. Like an impending nuptial, Christmas, maybe a dance, or a date…those are end points…life is what happens when you’re waiting for those occasions. Don’t you see, some of us reading this right now, may not get a chance to lie our heads down tonight, so the prayers of a Child, “If I die, before I wake” are all to prophetic…..from point A of birth, to point B of death, LIFE is that delicious, juicy filling in the middle….the best part….and it is…what we make it.

Yeah, so those of you who know me, know something’s on my mind, but I can’t talk about it yet. I have a Neuro test tomorrow. I really want to do well, but guess what? I have today…I have right now…I have the “filling”….every now and then, we need to be reminded that just as “it” was wasting a precious commodity some don’t have…we too waste our precious gifts everyday, and we do it, because Satan (disguised as strife), steals our vision…and in our vision ,we find our purpose. If you woke up today, you have another chance…another chance….to do something good with your gift. I dunno, “This Is The Day”….perhaps we should rejoice…and be glad in it. Think about it, while you toil and toll over something that won’t matter in two days….time lost, is NEVER found again…and that ends my cliches….Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Wednesday….the Eve of NEURO….(evil laugh)…

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