Tag: momblog

How Soon We Forget






Boy Could Do Worse


Bells on Bob’s Tail rings, making firits bright, oh what fun it is to ‘mumble, mumble, mumble’ OH JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS“…The recently promoted Toddler to Pre-schooler….singing to herself.

And we’re singing Christmas songs on April 2. Her birthday is October 29, and all I’ve heard is, “Mommy, I want ‘xyz'” and I’m saying, “Hey! At least give me my SUMMER“. She’s started this new thing where she goes around mocking all she finds funny. For example, when Merrill walked up behind me this morning to kiss me on my neck, we heard her (from behind us) mocking “Hey look at me. I’m always kissing mommy. I can’t stop kissing mommy….smooch, smooch, smooch” She is an asshole, because she has this tendency to call things exactly as she sees them, but here’s the thing, while she’s on the front-end getting all the attention being nefarious, her brother is a sneaky snake, trying to get a giggle. “How Soon We Forget”…I had to remind the Instructors yesterday, exactly how “good” of a boy Sweentess really is.

No longer a toddler, Duchess is very at-face value kind of girl. Meaning what you see, is what you get. If you tell her to punch someone in the face she will do just that…punch someone in the face (Girl reminds me of someone…can’t put my finger on it). Her brother, however, is a little more covert than that. Mad at his dad one day, and not wanting to take the heat for himself, he told his sister, “Go punch dad in the face”…liking a good face punch, she did just that, and got into trouble, until she threw her beloved brother under the bus and said, “Bubby said he’d give me ice cream if I punched you daddy”….The truth is the daily fight between the siblings in this house, is mostly a result of Sweetness “I’m not touching you” his sister, and driving her crazy. She might be a tad bit like me.

Telling the story of Duchess recruiting body guard help her regulate a bully at McDonalds, I had to remind all within ear shot that her brother, started the first charter of the Fight Club at his pre-school (it was a short-lived charter), when he was about her age. So they wouldn’t have to go inside and pause their play, HE taught the other boys the short-cut by peeing on the fence. Actually, when the staff came to me to inform me of this malfeasance, I just looked at them and said, “I’m sorry. I don’t see the problem”…..She is a very open, honest, kind of girl. She’s passionate and empathetic to an absolute fault….while he is a sneaky snake, like his father, and nothing brings him greater joy, than to get his sister in trouble for some nefariousness he committed. Even as I write this, his father, the OA (Original Ass) is beating him (the boy) for no good reason….and now we see the issue with HIM. How Soon We Forget. I love The Boy, I really, really do…but we all forget that he had his moments….the same moments we tease Duchess for. I mean, do we really NOT remember the chamber punch, while playing TMNT at his pre-school? Yeah, some kid hit him too hard, so he hit him harder…..Duchess will be okay, it’s the boy I worry about. Now, I gotta go. The Pre-schooler is walking around the house saying, “I forgot how to speak turkey”…Well, I’d like to learn how to speak Turkey too….Think I’ll punch his dad in the face, just because. Yes, I get the irony of exactly who she acts like. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With you Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.


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George Washington DC

She IS Adorable
She IS Adorable











You were looking forward to this vacation. You had on the rose-colored glasses this time, YOU were the Pollyanna. Still feel that way Stud Muffin?”

No…not at all” Merrill

It’s amazing how quickly children will make or break a vacation.

It wasn’t/isn’t like it’s the Chevy Chase Vacation of the 1980’s. No, this is the older parents, old enough to be grandparents-parents, vacation. We, like most of our peers, should be sleeping in with children well into teenage years, or maybe even adults. We chose to have our children later in life, therefore, whereas you all are gently sleeping in right now, beds full of goose down feathers, visions of your lazy newspaper in bed while you drink coffee and mess around, we are fighting children…just to go eat. My back hurts, Merrill is starving, and the baby? Well, she’s running around interchanging the phrases “When can we go swimming?” with “When can we go to George Washington DC?” Hmmm, George Washington DC, because our vacations, are not yours. Curse this wanderlusting….

So okay. I am tired, and I am sore. That bed isn’t friendly to those who have bad backs, and Merrill’s been so exhausted himself, that he hasn’t even tried the, “Hey, we’re in a new STATE!” game he likes to play, when we’re in a new state. Chasing two children around the Carnegie Museum, in Pittsburgh, had us both promising that we would never again try to ingrain some culture into these two heathens. Let em be crumbsnatchers for all I care. Duchess chose the Carnegie Museum to exert the “last child privilege”, by screaming at the top of her voice, “NO. You can’t make me”; which was true, I couldn’t make her….but I could drag her, and drag her I did…a 40lbs piece of child through the Chanel collection….I have a hernia now. People thought we were part of the art collection, because art is whatever you make of it…they tried to compliment me on my use of modern child-rearing situations in cultured environments. I have a showing next week. I haven’t pooped in TWO DAYS…there is no Jamie Lee Curtis and her yogurt, nor ESSENTIAL OIL (don’t bother) that’s gonna help me be back on my regular schedule…now if they made an EO that allowed for a total disconnect of your life while you child touches the Van Gogh, and say’s, “That’s ugly”…right next to the sign that states, “Parents, please do not let your children touch the Van Gogh-We will SHOOT you”…then I’ll buy it, and use it. Until then…

Sleeping in until 7am this morning, Merrill announced to the world he was starving, and by God we’d better get ready so he could eat. Generally, I like to sit and drink some coffee before I get up and chase kids. Only 3 zoos in the States have panda bears, and we’re going to one of them today, although, I did swear….on a stack of BIBLES yesterday…..that we were NOT going to the zoo, and that we would promptly turn the Spring Break mobile around and go 700 miles back home….and I meant it….but I was tired…my throat was sore from cursing, my arm was hurt from dragging. When the beautiful king sized bed finally called me, I was out…but by midnight, there were three other bodies in there with me. Sigh….#momlife is pretty cool….but sometimes, it isn’t. Gotta go. George Washington DC and it’s freaking panda’s await. So looking forward to a day of screaming, crying, tantrums, and cursing…and that’s just ME. Baby making is for the young. I should be a Sylvester Granny at 46….but NO. I had to love him, have his babies, and blah, blah, blah. I hate him….him and his little, “This will be fun” attitude. Screw him, he can go raise these children with some young chick who’ll love him for his money. I’M OUT. Panda’s do have it good you know. They just plop out the babies, and they go on to star in loving children’s movies…..To be fat, black and white, and asleep, right now would be so very cool….so very, very cool….Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you Are the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.

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Do You Even Read Me?











Maybe that should be your next campaign.” Merrill

Do you even READ me?” Ronnie….clearly I’m frustrated with him.

It should go without saying that one really should read the articles on FB before one comments. LOL, I’ve done it too, and as much as I hate to admit it, I also get schooled when someone says, “Did you even read the article stupid?” Might be the only time I let someone call me stupid and live….Yes, the person who doesn’t read the article, then comments as if they have expertise, annoys me. Almost as much as the person who doesn’t bother to read the thread, then either asks the same question, or restates an opinion that has already been given…”Do You Even Read Me?”….While I’m not sure Merrill and I will be together much longer, it upsets me that he doesn’t know a thing about my passions….

I was scrolling through an article about celebrity photo-shopping this morning, and observed, with great chagrin, the Photoshop of celebrities and well-known models…It’s not a pimple here, a wrinkle there, because even then I couldn’t be mad, NO we’re talking about an all out campaign to change the entire celebrity. In one photo, Madonna, was up against the wall, in an outfit I wouldn’t even wear for Merrill during Nesquick. She had wrinkles, and scars and whatnot, but she’s had two children, I don’t hate, as I have my own tiger stripes, but the magazine edited out each and every “flaw” as if it didn’t exist…all the flabby flab hanging over her G-string was gone, the wrinkles on her forehead gone..shoot even her pubic hair was shaved out…..It was an entirely unrealistic portrayal of Madonna “THE IMMORTAL”. Now isn’t this the same women whose disingenuous attempt at Girl Power, is back firing? She wants us all to be ourselves, Express Ourselves..etc…She’s gotta be like in her 60’s now, and in an attempt to stay relevant, she’s selling her body…to the God of Youth…and here I sit and struggle with MY image while celebrities simply take an eraser to their faces….Oh, I’m just getting started Merrill!

We have Little Sisters who look up to these fake ass celebrities. Every day, they deny themselves life saving sustenance so that they can reach an ideal that the fake ass celebrity has perpetuated. I spent most of my teenage years beating myself up, for those images and didn’t realize until much later that they were only holograms. The acne; which BTW, is a rite of passage for anyone, was zipped out, just erased over, as if they, the women, never…ever…was like one of us. I mean, I saw wrinkles, dark eyes, light eyes, dark skin, teeth, gums, boobies, booties, and feet…all ‘flaws’ that in Hollywood is a sin, wiped out like I use a Credit Card…it was disgusting. Listen, if Hollywood wants to act like their flaws never existed, so be it, but at the very least, at the VERY LEAST, tell us that they are fake. Pssst, I sometimes color my hair a lighter shade of RED! I KNOW….you’re disappointed in me now….These Little Sisters never realize that they’re fighting a computer….and we all know from War Games, that you cannot win, in a game with a computer. And so, they die, they commit great harm upon themselves, while their families watch helpless….I put my family through so much hell…I wanted to be perfect, but then again, it was about control too…we’ll NEVER discuss that….I promise. So, Do You Even Read Me? It’s a zing against Merrill for telling me (as I angrily forwarded page after page) that I should write…about THIS. I need a new manager, I really, really do…….It does anger me, I was that Little Sister, and now I KNOW thyself…. Sigh…if you make it to your 40’s….life is sooooo good. I may not be perfect, but I’m respected, and I am beautiful…on the inside…that’s what we should strive for….Sigh. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Saturday….DC Saturday.


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He Was Only 9 Years Old

Cheaper than dye.
He got ugly” Ronnie referring to Axle Rose, intermittent lead singer for Guns and Roses, an 80’s kick ass band.














See how easy that was? I just formed a hateful, judgmental opinion of Axle Rose, but he’s famous….so it’s okay. Or is it? Jackson Grubb, killed himself because of bullies. For those of you whose eyes just rolled over the all too familiar headline, I’ll write it again in boldface, with some information I left out, “Jackson Grubb, A 9 yr old BOY, killed himself because of bulliesRight now, as the family is rising to greet this great midweek hump day, my 10yr old son is eating a breakfast of Poptarts (I quit trying) and chocolate milk (the real kind). He’s watching Scooby Doo with his little sister, trying to milk a few extra minutes out of his am routine to watch television. He is not thinking about suicide, nor is he worried about anything that goes on in school. “He Was Only 9 Years Old“. This was our fault your know? We had a hand in his death.

You wanna step to me, I’ll take you all day ya’ll ALL DAY. If you ever get bored and want to see just how far society has devolved into hell, take a quick trip to my FB page when I post something on the Kardashians or Trump. The posters you find will eat at your soul, but I don’t mind…I like them….its how I sharpen my skills. We’ll be discussing something mundane, and a poster will come along to write, “Who cares?” (UM, YOU?), or “You suck you horrible bitch” and then IT’S ON!. I don’t get the personal attacks, but with the real physical threat of me ripping your throat out gone, people will say and write anything. A local scanner page has the same problem….I can’t see you, therefore, I’ll step to you….but that is part of the problem. “They” try to try to SILENCE anyone whom “they” perceive as weaker. The use of my term “whom” will probably bring about some ridicule, while skipping over the substance. When you can’t be bested on fair ground, “they” try to dig holes….. That’s what they did to this innocent little boy. A baby not even into the double digits, a baby too young to process the implications of those more insecure than he….they killed him, and we gave them the weapons…..the death of a baby demands JUSTICE…so I’m taking us all to task.

“Jackson built a clubhouse in his backyard hoping it might help him make new friends” his grandmother said. He did what many that age do, when faced with the realization that no one likes him, he tried to buy their love. I used to keep a pack of gum on me for when “they” would pick on me…..He didn’t realize, and why would he, that the hatred pointed in his direction wasn’t personal. At 9 he should have been playing basketball in the driveway, making ramps to break his arm, running and playing with his dog….he shouldn’t be so depressed that he meticulously made plans his demise. The bullies even went as far as to put their hands on him, much the same way they did me, and he ran, withdrawn, into a world of pain…A 9yr old boy does not make the decision to end his life, except I DO get it.

PEOPLE KNEW! From the Administrators, to the teachers, to the peers themselves, people knew what was going on…and how could they not? I just asked my son if he knew of anyone being bullied in school….his response, “YES”….So my son KNOWS. With all this information of who KNEW, why wasn’t anything done? Ahh, maybe because Jackson was known for defending his mother, who was withstanding her own criticism in the community. Maybe because the young bullies were learning how to sharpen their skills by the older bullies, they parents, in the home. See, I’m a strong, FIRM believer that a 9yr old doesn’t just go to school to perpetuate hate. No, the blood of this little boy is upon all our heads. From the parent who gossips in church to another parent, to the teachers too tied to intercede, we all bear his blood upon our soul, because while THEY were just children…..we created this world….we, like the horror teens victims of days gone by, brought the evil into this world, and now, it’s attacking our babies….and there’s nothing we can do about it….So, He Was Only 9 Years Old…a baby….a BABY ya’ll…and we, through the hate we allowed in, killed him. Ask your child right now if he/she knows of someone being bullied…then ask yourself what you can, or are willing to do? Better harden your hearts…Love…can’t solve this because we’re no longer capable of love…..we need a cleansing…and that comes from a power far greater than us.  I can’t save the world…and neither can you, but I can step to every person that seeks to silence me…I actually enjoy that…we started this fire, the least we can do is help to put it out….He was 9….only 9…how many more, before we scream, ENOUGH? May God have mercy on all our souls. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Wednesday.

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Are You Ready For Some Football

We are a football family.
We are a football family.

I’m not a football fan, but yeah, I might watch the game“….Ronnie to herself.

Actually, my best friend is in Huston right now, working for the Falcon’s. I’m not sure if she worked for the Falcons in 1999 when they lost in Super Bowl XXXIII to the Broncho’s, but this may just be a little coup d’etat for her team….can you imagine spanking the booty of Brady? Yeah, I like that….Brady Booty…it’s got a nice ring to it. I’ve always said once I become NEFARIOUS, my first two orders of business will be to 1. Buy a new house, and 2. Buy Super Bowl tickets, in that order. In a few minutes I’ll be getting in the shower with Duchess, then I’ll put my nose in the book (test tomorrow), and then I’ll anxiously await the arrival of Princess….Gee, I hope the rose petals will be here by then….she had to walk on plain Ole’ asphalt last time. Are You Ready For Some Football? I am….Girls aren’t supposed to know about football….but I’m no ordinary girl…..

So yes, Princess is coming, Duchess has a Pageant today, and we are going to be viewing history….HISTORY….with the ATL Falcons vs. the New England Pats….I hate the Pats. For me it started a very long time ago, when I saw Brady yelling at his coach…or was that Jeff George? I can never keep the two straight because they’re both arrogant a-holes. Now, don’t get me wrong…Merrill is an arrogant a-hole, but he’s so sexy at it. I like it when he walks up to me, put me up against the wall, raise my hands above my head and says to me, “I want you to…” Psych! Did you REALLY think I was going to get THAT personal with you? No, Merrill is a sexy kind of arrogant, not a creepy “Leave me alone with my mattress in the vault” kind of arrogant…..Brady has something WRONG with him…very, very wrong.

So today will be a fulfilling day. My mother is still here, (she’s been fun), and my oldest, middle and youngest child will be in the SAME house YA’LL….same house. Merrill is always amorous on Sunday’s (like a freaking clock), and I’ll be basking in the life that is MINE. Are You Ready For Some Football….I am….but the day threatens to hold more promise than just Lady Gaga at the Half-time show. Budweiser is going to be treading in on the Immigrant debate, Doritos’ isn’t doing a commercial, and I’ll be watching for the Go Daddy ad’s which shows an awful lot of boobies, for a Web Page Hosting site….I don’t get it. “I’m going to WIN the Princess Pageant. Right Mommy?” she said to me the other day, to wit I responded, “I don’t know baby girl, but we’re damned well going to have a blast.” “Damned to the YES Mommy” she responded, and I knew….I was going to be in trouble……Superbowl Sunday.…the last Sunday before things get boring….So, Mr. Tom Brady, if that is your real name, I hope the Falcons STOMP that ASS today, you cry baby, football deflating, pretty boy superstar Michigan Punk Ass Freak! I’d like to see you cry, like a Packer Fan…..Are You Ready For Some Football……How many blessings can this momma take? Gotta go…Duchess is ruining the curlers in her hair…sigh. This may just be a little more difficult than I expected….Sanchez is in Huston….have fun baby! …. Be safe Princess….your siblings miss you….your Grandma misses you too….but I don’t…I mean, come home, stay there….either way….I’m good…Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Super Bowl Suuunnnndaaaayyyy! Suck it PATS….

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The SEX (Part 2)

My Only Begotten Son...and I just saying "No" to drugs.
My Only Begotten Son…and I just saying “No” to drugs.

I don’t know Bubby“….Ronnie answering the question, “How does man and woman have sex?”.

So yeah, I dodged it, because it’s not my area. In this house, we’re careful to stay on our side of the gender line, and frankly, I’ve already had The Sex talk, and will be doing it again in a few years. If I didn’t have an amazing father for my son, then yes, I would have said something, because after all, we do not hide information from our children, BUT it is getting harder and harder to tap dance around certain questions. A simple, “You’re not ready to know” is a cardinal sin here…because if they ask…they’re ready. Hmmm, The Sex (Part 2)….He’s ready, but I’m not.

Oh Trust, Merrill and I have had many conversations about how life with a son, is going to be different from life with a daughter. There are so many nuisances to the gender, that I dare not even get into it, lest my hater, report me. No, it should suffice to write that boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina….and that is where we leave it for now. There is more though….more than just the act of The Sex…there are the emotions, or lack thereof, there are the feelings, or lack thereof, there is the kindness…gentleness….patience…and control. Ahhh, Control….A fruit of the Spirit, a Sin of the Heart. How do we tell our son that The Sex is a gift, when we….ourselves….weren’t very careful with it either?

Parenthood is a simply “Do as I say, not as I do” law. Can’t be any other way! Frankly, if you chose to raise your children to be very carefree with sex, to not mind the feelings and emotions of others, that The Sex is what it is….I don’t judge. I am a firm believer that we teach our children, what we teach our children. I would hope, like me, you would teach your children the consequences of unprotected sex….or what happens when he/she gets the wrong person and they go BSC on your kid’s ass, or what happens to a girl, whom at 18 comes home and makes you a grandmother at 40….but again, if you don’t….you don’t. Don’t worry though, your kids have friends at school, who’ll teach them what you won’t. I did not digress. Here’s the truth about The Sex (aka Nesquick)….it’s amazing, and even better when it’s with someone you love dearly, but it comes with a price to pay. At least do your child the favor, the advantage of telling them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth…but when they’re ready….LOL, so I did not tell my son how a man and woman have The Sex. The Sex Part One was him seeing Merrill kissing me on my neck and asking his dad if we were having The Sex….The Sex (Part 2) is him, 3/4 years later asking his dad and I how to have The Sex….Dear God how do I get out of this? Oh, I know….send him to his Martial Arts Teacher…..He wants control….let him have it. Do me a favor Mr. K….can you also tell him where to find protection? I just don’t think I have it in me….thanks a lot….Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Friday the 13th….


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Only For Her

Merry Christmas from our family to yours.
Merry Christmas from our family to yours.

Um, Mom. Because we came home for Thanksgiving, I’m not going to home for Christmas“….Princess to Ronnie…..She came home.

You know, it takes a special man to wear a silly PJ set for his woman. I taught her that.

I was pregnant and sick on Christmas 1988. Telling the man, that I was pregnant, was not easy. After all, I was 18yrs old, and scared…..”It’s not mine” he said, and basically walked out of my life forever…well until 19yrs later when she found him on FB..LOL, but that’s HER story to tell. It was a struggle, but we made it…she and I, I and she…and today, my 27yr old baby girl left my home to go celebrate Christmas with a man I like….Only For Her….my baby girl isn’t a baby anymore.

Sigh. I’m not the only one. I know this, but It’s just so HARD when they grow up. She was home last night…all three birds in momma bird’s nest, but I cannot help but to think about all the Christmas’s past….there was a gift she waited 3 years for…My Size Barbie…and only because Win C Smith gave me a $300 Christmas bonus in 1995, was I able to buy it for her. She loved that gift, but it spent all it’s time outside her bedroom, because it creeped her out…Duchess got a My Size Barbie today…not quite the $300 it was 22 years ago…Princess warned her, “Um, you’re not gonna wanna sleep with that”. I look at them both, side by side, and I’m amused. I mean, how did I, the ultimate ugly duckling have such beautiful, strong girls?

And so as my Princess drove away, with her man by her side, I’m saddened at the thought that I may not have too many more Christmas Eve’s into Christmas’s Day’s with her….She’s a woman now…a good, strong-willed, level-headed woman, and I approve. I love her so much….I’m not the same 18yr old girl who desperately wondered how I was going to bring a life into this world….she came to me Labor Day 1989….full of fanfare, full of life…..her father may have very well left me for dead, but I got the last laugh didn’t I? I got to raise her, along with the man I love so much it hurts..WE got to raise her, and WE got the better end of the deal. Only For Her would I wear a crazy kitty kat PJ for a family picture. Only For Her would I agree to partial time at Christmas….Only For Her….would I kill and die…LOL, well HER and my family. So as I sit, and stare at the tin foil star and crown that adorns the top of my tree….the same tin foil star and crown that she made for us when she was but only three…. I am…well…nostalgic…because the little girl I could only buy an Erine doll for our 1st year, is now all grown up…The Beautiful One, my Princess….sigh, Christmas’s will never be the same again…will they? But I still have the babies at home, and by golly, I’ll look forward to future Christmas’s with them, while missing Christmas’s pasts with her…a paradox that for the 1st time…I don’t mind. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. Be KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, Merry Christmas.

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Mommy’s Bed

Merrill doesn't know how to do it.
Merrill doesn’t know how to do it.

Would you take a murder rap for Princess or Duchess?”…..Ronnie

(Taking a moment to think about it) “Probably“….Merrill

You’re too old to go to prison. 5yrs would be life for you“…..Ronnie taking a stab at Merrill’s age….he loves it when I do that.

We have a recliner, in our bedroom, that spends part of its time as a hamper. I slept in said hamper last night, preferring it to the Bedknobs and Broomsticks scenario that had developed sometime after midnight. Actually, I don’t mind the recliner so much….I don’t mind the babies so much….but Merrill still hasn’t figured out how to fight for his portion of the bed….Dogs, cats, little birds, and rats (not really)….It’s Mommy’s Bed…and it’s never bothered me to share it with the babies, or the pets.

My defense has always, “Princess doesn’t sleep with us anymore”, and she doesn’t. In this country, Hell among my friends, there is a disagreement about co-sleeping. I’m not here to debate it…just to share my views. You see, growing up, the children had to share beds with the adults because of the 2bd home we slept in…LOL, my grandmother snored like a freaking snowblower…..it’s funny, but nostalgic, considering she died 7 yrs ago yesterday….I digressed. In Mommy’s Bed, there’s a sense of security…..a peacefulness that the boogyman may very well be in the closet, but in Mommy and Daddy’s room, Tuck will eat em…Of course, Merrill, as the father, disagrees….

And yet, after watching L&O this morning; in which a father took the murder rap for his daughter, I asked Merrill if he would take the rap for his girls…..I was surprised to hear his response, considering he bitches about the babies in the bed…I dunno, maybe it’s because in prison he gets his own cot….the babies are not the friendliest of co-sleepers…I told Merrill, “You gotta fight for your piece of bed. That’s the only way they’ll respect you”…..LOL, on any given night, we have Tuck at the foot of the bed, Felix right next to him, the babies in the middle and Merrill and I bringing up the bookends….Last night, I arranged the pillows on the sides (like they’ll prevent a fall), then jumped in the recliner, and slept like one of the bed hogs….In Mommy’s Bed, the sleep is better….Princess doesn’t sleep with us anymore….so eventually, they do outgrow it, but they’re babies only once….enjoy the bonding time while you still have it…..Gotta go. Busy day….then I’ll come home and take a nap….there’s one time I don’t have to share the bed….babies hate naps… that’s where I make up for lost time. In Mommy’s Bed….the world is safe, God is in His heaven, and the boogy man is at bay…and I’m not going to take that away from them. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Saturday.


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I Forgot Something

My 1st Day At The Kiddie Pool.
My 1st Day At The Kiddie Pool.

You don’t have to be the 1st one to cross the line to finish the race. Life is a series of victories and failure, that in the end, lead up to all good things, for those whom love and serve Him. If you’ve made it this far, you’ve already won. Do not let the enemy take away your joy… I should know….he almost did mine“. Ronnie’s motivation speech to her nursing class.

I have to walk away from you right now” Ronnie to the counselor whom screwed her out of nursing school the 1st time.

NO” Merrill asking if I wanted Nesquick to relax before the test.

I’m fixing to go get my hair and nails done“…..Ronnie….

I left The Kiddie Pool this summer with my Associates in Science. Nothing about The Kiddie Pool was easy, but then I found that anything The Kiddie Pool handed me was diaper nuggets (Eww) compared to what Nursing School could dish out. If I wasn’t 2nd guessing my sanity, I was was a whimpering mess in the corner. I swear to GOD I’ve never, ever in my life been more insecure about me or my abilities than I have been in Nursing School, but THEN….in the final stretch, the Widow Maker happened….Sigh….that almost defeated me…..I Forgot Something.…PSYCH…you thought I was going to stay down…didn’t ya?

Today is it. FINALS, and pass or fail friends….I win. I crossed the line….maybe last, but that’s okay. I…crossed…the…line. You all know about the Anxiety that followed me, then tragedy, then depression, but sitting alone in the living room last night, I realized something…..I’ve been through some sh*t, I have a potty mouth, I’ve been betrayed by friends, defended by strangers……I damned near lost my MIND….LOL, you can bruise my Spirit, but you cannot take my SOUL. As William Wallace once said, “They can take our lives, but they cannot have our Freedom”.

There are no babies in this class. Some worked harder than I ever will. Some made it across harsher desert, than I’ll ever walk, and some…don’t even know half the crap I’ve forgotten. We started at 30…we’re now at 14…maybe 9 will pass….I Forgot Something.…I forgot that I’m Veronica Philips, and I wasn’t even supposed to be here today, so even if I fail that final, and have to take class over again, I won, because I wasn’t even supposed to be here……I…will not….stay down. Broken bones, chipped soul, bruised spirit, no nails, hair-fell-OUT Ronnie…I fought to be here….I forgot, just for a moment, whom I was. So, if any of you have any doubt, remember this…there is always going to be a monster under the bed. You are always going to have FEAR and trembling….Surround yourself with those whom love you and care for you, and you can defeat any demon that steps to you…..I Forgot Something.…and indeed I did. I’m Veronica Philips Bitches…..I’ll take the test, doesn’t matter if I pass or fail….I’ve already won the race I started…..and I’m OUT. Mic Drop…..<pray for me>…Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, I do covet your prayers….enjoy your Wednesday.

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Collateral Damage, I Wish I Hadn’t Cried

I LOVE my family.....
I LOVE my family…..

Just leave me alone“. Ronnie, in her very foreseen breakdown

Sigh. Friends, you cannot allow the top to stay on a boiler and expect it not to blow. Know what I mean? For all the BS and hype I’ve given, I’m human, and yes, I have dysfunctional ways of dealing with stress. Some stress is good, after all, it’s what motivates us to continue on in this thing so-called life (and run from bears), but when you keep adding, and adding, and adding…without releasing, and releasing and releasing…the boiler blows, and the ones you love the absolute most, will be caught in the Explosion. Collateral Damage, I wish I hadn’t cried. Crying not a sign of weakness, but it IS a sign that something’s wrong.

Collateral Damage is the ideal that those least deserving of  your ire, are the ones the most likely to receive it. I HATE THAT. You only hurt the ones you love…blah, blah, blah. Innocent people get hurt all the time, sigh, but when it’s my family…Lord, I’m a jerk, but I busted my ass to get here. You all know this. You watched me, prayed with me, followed me through The Kiddie Pool…..laughed when I laughed, cried when I cried, but Holy God…this is a whole different monster. Nursing School is bad enough, but all the other crap added to this…..I try daily, to die daily to the stress that plagues my soul, but it’s not working anymore. “If God brought you to it…He’ll bring you through it” they say, but they’re wrong. There are many choices we make that God had nothing do with…what He does promise is to never leave you…but that doesn’t mean you won’t hurt a little.

Discern your motivations. Is it about His Glory, or is it about yours? I feel like all those whom encouraged me to stay and finish what I started, really had the right intentions. I really do, but mixing #momlife, #collegelife and #cardiolife into the same bowl, will assure you that there will be only one winner….it won’t be #collgelife. What I’m trying to tell you is that the stress in my life has hit an apex….only two things were going to happen. I was going to break and give up….or cry. I chose the latter….because I’m not a quitter; which isn’t a bad thing….I suppose there was a little Satan in there after all. So, Collateral Damage, I Wish I Hadn’t Cried….but cry, and explode I DID. It wasn’t their fault all this sh*t happened. Wasn’t mine either…..I’m going to do my best to finish this race, even if limping across the line is the only way I go through. Freaking matyr…..I gotta go. Church lost out to study….what did you expect? I couldn’t get my sh*t together if you paid me…..May the Grace of God see me through this, and may He protect my family. It’s not their fault, I chose to be stubborn….I dunno, maybe God will bring them through this….Sigh. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.

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