Tag: Sex

Sex

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Um, I don’t think you want MY perspective. I’ll just sit quietly“….They have no idea who I am…

Let’s Talk About Sex…

 

Today in small groups we talked about sex in the martial relationship. It was, I gotta admit, refreshing. I think the Church is irresponsible when it attempts to gloss over, or even omit, that sex is a healthy, necessary part of a relationship. What’s worse, is when fails to address the issues and needs that women face as we age. SEX….it’s not a dirty word, but it can be when we fail to acknowledge it’s place in marriage.

As the moderator turned it over to the table for discussion, I looked at Merrill and said, “I don’t think, you want the Veronica Philips perspective to this subject”. Yes, I’m a little dirty when it comes to sex and it’s means, but admittedly, I too am growing older, and God didn’t quite bless me with the same stamina as Merrill. Men can go until the day they die, whereas women, appear to have a shelf life…..it’s unfair that God favored men over women, or did He? He didn’t. He just gave us a thermostat.

I am just as sexual as Merrill, I just have a very different “on” switch. For example, my butt, as I bend over to pick up trash, appears to be his switch, but for me, watching him be a daddy to his children, doing the dishes, putting on a bandana (TMI?), or dying is what gets my switch flipped. I think God gave us different triggers, because it they were the same, we’d be baboons never leaving the bathroom. I’m not here to pontificate on the settings needed for great sex, but the Church, in order to serve the needs of its congregants, needs to understand that SEX should be discussed, and discussed often. I liked that our small groups, formally known as Sunday School, took up the subject and tastefully ran with it. The trick for me, is not to be challenged to shock my table mates….cause I can….you know?

Sex, the more you know and understand how God WANTS you to have it, the more you accept that not everyone is the same. I like sex..Not while shopping at Walmart, but I do like it. My thermostat is just a little trickier than his. Now if you’ll excuse me…I hafta go forth, and pretend to multiply. Be Blessed.

Remember you set The Tone. You ARE the Example. Be KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete complete, enjoy your Sunday.

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Adult Education

This is pretty sexy
This is pretty sexy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Say it!

I’m totally head over heals in love with you, and I love being a father to our children

Proceed

Adult Education.

The dog, does not come off this throne easily. A long time ago, when his fat ass was just still a puppy, we’d put him in the bed with us, and let him whimper himself to sleep. Over the years, and because he wasn’t an incredible bed hog, we let him stay, so that now, the bottom half the bed is filled with the furry goodness we like to call Tuck. Truth is, when Merrill isn’t in town, and the kiddo’s are nestled up beside me, his fat, snoring self is quite assuring. He’s ten now, and so far into his nightly entitlements, that to try to gently shoo him from the foot of the bed, usually brings about great growling and gnashing of his big, dog fangs, but the one truth that’s remained steadfast in our history with Tuck, is that whether you come, stay, lay or pray, he doesn’t care what you do on the bed, as long as you leave his outwardly expanding space alone. Adult Education….the married life may not be romantic, but sexy is now a man you can call the father of your children, and soul mate.

I find hubby amazingly sexy. Is that wrong? I mean, for almost a quarter of a century, I have been with, lived with, ate with, and raised children with the very same man, who back when he was 19, adorably asked me if I wanted to thumb wrestle. I can honestly say, with a certain degree of certainly, that I loved him, the moment I saw him, but we’re now one-fourth of the way through the 100’s together, and I look into his deep blue eyes, and still feel that tingle that drew me to him oh so many years ago. Well, that or indigestion, but what’s sexy to me now, wasn’t sexy to me then. Now, if he’s rolling around the ground with the kids, or helping them with homework, a hormone, one of the precious few I have left, will start to tingle, and then, I’ll feel the desire to jump his bones….but if he hasn’t done any that stuff, or won’t put on a freaking bandana for me, his DANCE becomes a gamble of sorts. He can spin that Roulette Table, but I can’t guarantee him any winnings:

  • Touch on the lower back…NOPE, she jerked away….
  • Touch on the lower back…..she hasn’t moved…..maybe….
  • Moves fingers around more….still not rebutting advances….looking good
  • Moving in closer….not rebutting…BUT not moving….She’s asleep…Do NOT wake her UP!
  • Kiss on the neck…she’s moving, but not screaming….looking good.
  • Blowing HOT breath in her ear…..”NO!”….

I’m not some prude that goes to bed in curlers and a full-length, flannel gown. I mean I KNOW what I have…. the problem is that unlike our past glory days where our passion would take ANYWHERE/ANY TIME, we are parents now, with children whom possess acute c*ckblocking abilities, therefore, married passion, mandates that we either become creative James Bond type lovers, or we wait until after the little crumb snatchers go to bed, in which case, we’re so tired trying to outwit them, we sleep too. Adult Education is trying to navigate Nesquick with a 80lbs fat ass on the bed, moving and weaving between babies that had “bad dreams”, trying to keep your flesh awake (the Spirit is willing) so that you can spend some personal time rewarding your spouse for helping your son do his homework, not wanting to turn off Law and Order, a show you’ve seen a thousand times, because you’ve had a bad day too…When you were young and in love, any surface would do, but now that you’re older and you’ve transversed the world together, LIFE, mandates that you now be creative, instead of impulsive, and be honest….the preschooler will only watch so much Toy Story 3, before she goes looking for YOU!….Adult Education, it’s what they don’t teach you in relationship class that will kill your bond, if you let it….Find time to be with your partner, your equal, your soul-mate….even if…the dog (and now), the cat, has to watch. Achoo….Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Tuesday.

 

 

 

 

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Lifestyle Columnist

 

You know that Louis Vuitton is a fake right?
You know that Louis Vuitton is a fake right?

 

I’d like to see you today when you pick up your daughter” Teacher

I’m not getting her, she’s going to STARS“….Ronnie

Well, I’d like to see you anyway“…Teacher

Damn!

If ever hired for my “expertise” I could comfortably speak on such subjects like: The #momlife, Relationships, Going back to college, and maybe I could fit in a thing or two about fitness, and sex. My Publicist asked me to sum up my column in just one word. The intention being making me think about my niche. I thought about it for a few days, grabbed some branding books Merrill bought me for Christmas, put them down, then decided to forgo all that for this one small description….”Lifestyle“….I haven’t yet been to prison, I haven’t hosted parties for the rich and famous, I’m not gay, nor am I a celebrity….but I am cute, rude, mouthy, and tough….I am Ronnie, and I’m a Lifestyle Columnist…..Hmm, Lifestyle Columnist? I like it!

For me, it isn’t about hosting virtual children’s parties like I see the Big Dogs do on Twitter, I don’t model clothing yet….and honestly, I don’t get paid to open clubs, although, that does sound cool. No, what I do, is take the everyday, mundane aspects of life, and try to create interesting content out of them, because that’s what life is….a challenge in which we find our own points of interest. Sure, I’d like to get paid to recommend a product, I’d like to be noticed for my on fleck make-up pointers, but mostly, I’m a big girl in an even bigger world and while Carrie Bradshaw will always be my inspiration, contrary to what you all believe, I’m not a Sex Writer….I mean, I could….I’ve had sex….But I don’t have four close friends that are ho’s…..Here’s my point….

I don’t have to be all the aforementioned personalities, because I know once you see my name on a post, you’re gonna read it. I have earned your following… What I haven’t done is figure out a way to capitalize on it, because as we all know, Lifestyle Columnists are a dime a dozen. Where we miss the credit, is that what we write is relatable, after all, how many of you have seen the Mommy Monsters on social media and thought, “Oh God No“? I have…I am not hosting a children’s party for 10 that involves squeezing, making then freezing organic goods so that my kid can have a cold snack. I’m not that kind of mom. I do not wear athletic clothing as a fashion statement, I do not speak in soft tones to my children to correct them, I do not romance up the bedroom to show my man I’m in the mood. If I’m in the mood, I’ll put on a sheer dress instead of an oversized tee-shirt to bed. You feel me?

Lifestyle Columnists are the Betty’s of society….we are the one’s all you Archie’s want to see when you’re feeling down, or just want a laugh. We are the one’s who WILL tell you like it is, rather than sell you what you don’t need. When you read me, you know that honesty, at all costs, will be forthcoming. You know the chances of reading a potty word are great, you know that I may talk about jumping Merrill’s bones, you KNOW that there is a chance that I’m going to talk about the boogers in my NOSE. So friends, while I may never make a fortune selling you products you don’t need, if I like a product, you’re gonna know it. If I like an article, I’m going to share it, If I like or dislike a person….you’ll know, and you’ll know it because…..I’m a Lifestyle Columnist who just happens to be a mom, housewife, nurse, friend, and part-time Merrill tease. My life, is your fodder, and I’ve written that before. I appreciate your support….I appreciate your friendship, but most importantly, I appreciate your trust in me…Girl’s gotta eat….Gotta go, I’ll let you know how the meeting with Duchess’s teacher ends, but don’t hold your breath on me being nice about it, but you can expect that I’m going to write about it, and be honest about what went down. My kids aren’t perfect….That’s the difference between us all. I don’t pretend to have the perfect life, just the best life….Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Friday.

 

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Nesquick

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I don’t want to ask this question on your page, but what is Nesquick?” Friend

Sex. It’s sex” Ronnie

 

About once a quarter, I have to explain to someone what Nesquick ‘is’. I told the aforementioned friend, that I would use her question as part of my column, but that I wouldn’t use her name, because Nesquick can be a bit of a tricky subject. When I mention sex to strangers, they squirm and make like they’re calling for help. I don’t get it….but I do. I don’t think we discuss “it” enough, and why we call “it’ “IT” I have no idea. It’s like calling Merrill “man” and saying it in that dirty whisper that people reserve for the word Cancer. The church, and society have failed to bring up and teach good, healthy discussions of sex. It’s ironic, because the Bible tells many wonderful and many dysfunctional stories of what happens when powerful men have sex….it’s kinda dirty! When you consider the potential for harm, one would think that we’d want more out there than just, “Wrap it up kids“. There was a youth pastor that would teach, “In the backseat of a car, pretend Jesus is there“….that’s creepy, and it doesn’t help as much as you’d think. Nay, God intended Nesquick to be a diamond among simple gems…Back in the day, MD’s routinely prescribed Nesquick for women they considered hysterical…I..am…HYSTERICAL!…….Nesquick…..what? what? Holla at your girl.

I have to leave for my 6wk follow-up with the man who stole my uterus. 6wks ago. Doesn’t seem like long time, but it’s a life time in sex years. If my abstinence were dog years, It’d be 500 years since I’ve done the deed. How many more years did he think I had left in me? I mean, I’m no spring chicken, and I need the extra energy to run away from Merrill every time he gets that look in his eye…and I like running from him….At the lunch table yesterday, (and because that’s how we roll) the discussion came up about men having babies in their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s….can you imagine? When I asked, “How do they chase after the toddlers?” Merrill responded, “They don’t“…..The greater cruelty is that men get to make babies until the day they die…they can literally have sex, until it falls off, while women have to endure horrifying procedures….to not have babies….and ours doesn’t fall off……from what I hear, it closes up, if not used…and yes, that’s dirty. Report me!

Sex is natural, healthy, beautiful and frankly, amazing, but like any “gift” it can be abused. A lot of light has been shed in my home state regarding the sex trade, and girls brought over from Asia to please dirty old men. I don’t like dirty old men, and take every opportunity to crush their spirits….Some men associate sex with power; hence the expression “Behind every good man, is a better woman“. I respect that my sex, has figured out a way to control the male species with their female wiles….Yes, I figured it out too…..but that’s another discussion for another day. Nesquick, when correct, creates moments of beauty that far, far surpass any other experience on earth…it’s like you’re flying to heaven and touching the very face of GOD, and many of you are thinking, “Is she serious?“….YES! Yes I am, and you gotta get yourself a Merrill…..So, I am compelled to sing the praises of Nesquick, but I’m not sure which came first….(NOOOO), the experience or the relationship? Meaning did my love for Merrill make the sex, or did sex make my love for Merrill? Well… what do YOU think? Gotta go… SEX, Newsquick, “It” and all the other things Merrill calls it…..We don’t talk about it enough. I wish we did, because I could teach you some things, but you’d judge me so fast, it’d make your and my head spin. I’m soooooo ready to be allowed to do things again…lets see if the MD agrees. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Monday.

 

 

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When Faith Makes The Connection

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They don’t go gently into that good night.

 

Well you see, when your BM’s turn green, that’s when you know the iron is in your system” Ronnie schooling Merrill on the finer arts of mineral absorption.

 

I am a very, very, VERY stubborn woman. I can’t really tell if it’s just ME…the person God created, or my experiences; which God had not much to do with, that developed the stubborn personality you love today. There is something to the Missoura Motto, “Show Me” because in my state, if you want a pass on something, you must SHOW US, that what you say is true and righteous. We’re not big on Faith per se, we want to see the money. I’ve never been one to take orders (Take it easy- SMH), because I need to see the NEED in direction….Like a method actor, I need to know my motivation for following your direction, even if…..even if….following your orders is good and righteous for me. It’s pretty much why I’ll never work for the man again. I don’t want to take orders, I want to FEEL and know why the orders are there. When Faith Makes The Connection……Faith and I are like oil and water, I try really hard to be a woman of faith….but I’m really more a woman of action…..

So this whole, “Rest, don’t do too much” BS didn’t really sink in until last night, when reading in bed I cam across an article about the stitches inside of me. For anyone just now joining us, I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy, kept my ovaries, three weeks ago. I’ve been pissed off about it, because while the pain was gone in a few days, the emotional/physical recovery has been anything but easy. It’s been brutal, it’s been HELL…it’s made me whine like a wuss. I’ve had plenty of family and friends pray with me, for me, over me…they’ve laughed, cried, got mad with me, but what many had not done was tell me WHY I had to listen to them…I’m a big girl. I mean, I KNOW I lost an organ the size of my fists, but I didn’t know that in that, I also had a new cervix made, stitches to stitch the cervix, internal stitches, and that any jarring…and jarring would tear the stitches out…and make me bleed…my own blood…..I didn’t know all that. I thought you all were trying to control me with your words…..but as frustrated as you feel over me not listening too well…..how frustrated do you think I am over not listening? How do you think God feels about me on a daily basis?

And so, sans a jackass standing in front of me verbally telling me what to do, God asks us to trust Him, and have Faith; which is the evidence of something not seen, but the knowledge it’s there….or something ridiculous like that I didn’t have time to look it up. It means, that God puts that special spark upon our hearts, that song in our Spirit, that message that sometimes says, “You don’t have to know why, please trust ME”. There is GRACE in the Faith message. It’s like, I didn’t know, so I was protected…..but now I know….so I’m not. See, When Faith Makes The Connection, all other messages stand by the wayside and wait…if God simply say’s “No sex before marriage” it isn’t because He doesn’t like us to have a good time (know what I mean?) it’s because He has a good reason….but no….we don’t listen, and like that, we’re either really sick (HIV, STD) or we’re really hurt (HS BF Jerk)….if God says, “Love one another” He isn’t saying it like Merrill says it to the kids in the back seat on long family trips…when he’s just about ready to pull over and kill them…..No God is saying, in our love for each other, there is protection….there is salvation….there is healing…..and so we don’t always have to know why….God or the doctor’s tell us to do something….Sometimes, like we tell our kids, it’s simply because, “I said so“…and so…now I know. Now I know why I can’t have sex (although kudos’ to the writer of this page that gave alternatives WOW), I know why I can’t run, I know why I should only walk a few feet….I KNOW ALL THIS, because I read it. When Faith Makes The Connection there is no turning back….once you know…..you know. You Know? So I gotta go. Taking it slow and easy. Slow and easy. Slow and easy…..but now I know why, and that makes it more important and easier to do. It is okay to just trust and have faith, but if you gotta know, like ME….The Bible (like Google) is always open. 24/7…for you. Read up on what God says about not listening to me…then let me know what He said….He’s not telling me. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Monday.

 

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Building An Empire

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Mom, can I borrow some money? I have to take Princess to the doctor“. Ronnie, about a 100 years ago.

 

While some of you are at Church right now, or who knows..sleeping…..I am waiting in a DC hotel, watching some Disney Channel special about a girl a dog and a weird cat. Duchess say’s it’s called, “Weird Cat Girl” but I don’t think that’s right. We’re waiting on Merrill to get out of his driver’s meeting, but I can’t be too upset about it, because after all, that’s why we’re here. Something about this morning took me back to a place and time when Merrill and I could only dream about these vacations, and I’m struck, maybe even blessed to admit that we’ve come a long way baby. Building An Empire...it’s a long climb to the top ladies, but once there the view is fabulous.

Little Sisters, there is nothing wrong with wanting something for yourself. Actually, I encourage you to go out, get your hands dirty, and create something out of nothing. Look at me…do you think I’m dependent on anyone? I’m not, but let me tell you, everything is much sweeter…the success, the accolades, the victories, the SEX…when you have an equal to share it with. I remember not having a dime to our names, but through his working, and my nagging, we climbed…and climbed….and climbed. We made mistakes, we said some things (sorry about that mom joke dude), we got mad at each other, but really….like Elton John, we’re still standing. I saw something in him, when we first met….a little boy arrogant charm that didn’t quite convince me he was going to be the Sugar Daddy material I sought, but as time continued, my attitudes changed, my perceptions that not all men were assholes changed…sorta…they sorta changed, and we grew together…and the two…one day…became on flesh, then we moved on up, and life became GOOD. Okay, not really….but there was something in him…that I wanted to be a part of…..

Many women (not all) want a man to be set in his career goals, before they’ll ever talk to him….but that’s a risky road. I had friend tell me that she didn’t even take her shoes off for a man, for less than $60,000 and I thought, “Now that’s a plan“…but….but…what if, his success could also be your success? What if his goals, were your goals? What if your goals…were his priorities? Ahh…now we have a partnership…..a fortified relationship that say’s if he trades in your 40’s for two 20’s…well…then you have something to fall back on, because it’s one-half… YOURS. Do I look like I KNOW MY PLACE? I do…I know my place well, and for the last almost 25 years, my place has been right beside him, to guide him, to share in everything that came his…AND…..(not THEN)….my way. Building An Empire requires an equal understanding of where you both are together, and where you want to be in the future…then…make a plan. No, you are not going to make him talk about his feelings, cuddle you afterwards, or even (GASP) stop him from looking at other booties, but ladies, when you build something together….and it has the Seal of God (Come on, it’s Sunday and I’m a Christian)….there is nothing that can bring it down…save your own egos. So, what do you want? You want to wait for a man with $60,000 to come along and sweep you off your feet….or….do you want a man who knows that YOU are worth more…than his ego, and income? LOL, I’ll take the latter over the former, because half that Empire came from my supply. We may not always like each other, he may be more famous than I, but I have something you don’t…his kids and half his mess, but even more importantly, I have his HEART, MIND, BODY AND SOUL…..and he has mine…..together we are MVP….The Power Couple you created…..build an Empire that Satan cannot destroy, and like the big, bad wolf…he’ll have to go away…empty handed. Now, excuse me…we’re going to Arlington….as soon as….he’s done. Sigh. I didn’t say it was easy. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.

 

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Talk Dirty To Me

Awwwww
Awwwww

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He’s still a cutie“…Ronnie remarking on the 20th anniversary of “Boogie Nights” with Mark Wahlberg

 

Little Sisters, feel free to write this down…..A man with confidence, gets away with much…. I met Merrill in 1993, when he was a young skater GI, with an ear-ring, bandana, and a green grunge shirt, that I STILL wear to this day. He was an adorable baby faced cutie, who could make me swoon with one look. I remember someone said to me, “I’ve never seen you like this with any man”….I loved his confidence. Like the way he walked up to me and introduced himself by saying, “Do you want to thumb wrestle?” (Yes…yes I did). He didn’t fake it, like most guys that age…. I’m still wrestling his thumb…Talk Dirty To Me.….I love it when a man is really cute, but I love it more when he’s really smart…….

In a conversation about my friends and their sexual ideals (Don’t Judge Me) I mentioned to Merrill that some of my friends aren’t so interested in IT anymore….I mean, they’re in our 40’s….I dunno, are we supposed to not want it anymore? He looked thoughtful for a moment, and said, “Well, they don’t have YOU“….Ohhh, that’s some smooth operator mess right there, but he’s always been that way. Even after I throw stuff at his head, he can still make me laugh, and want him….He sent me a text yesterday that simply said, “Looking forward to this weekend with you” and I just melted….because he made this weekend happen for me….and I too…am looking forward to being with him… Sex, a subject we don’t nearly talk about enough, isn’t just physical….it’s a dance….an act between two people, who know how to tango….part of that…is CONFIDENCE….Merrill never was the one who stood to the side at the Jr. High Dance…he always knew what he wanted…and how to Thumb Wrestle to get it.

It’s the 20th Anniversary of Boogie Nights, and it’s star Marky-Mark, may be older but he’s still sexy as hell….Coming of age in the 90’s he was so damned self-assured and confident…enough so, that he named his book after his Special Guy….Now he’s a daddy, husband, producer, and grown up, but if I met him, I’d for sure swoon…that’s the thing about confidence….it’s sexy at any age. I think Merrill could still have any woman he wants…but he wants me…and that’s enough to make me want him….Confidence…I know he can take me by the hand, and lead me, through whatever life tosses at us, even if he makes me so mad I wanted to punch him in the face..Little Sisters, don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t know what they want, get yourself a man who knows himself enough to let you be yourself…….That’s HOT. I’m just saying. Gotta go…Derby Prep begins today and it starts with an morning weave…I can’t wait to see it…I can’t wait to spend the weekend with him….Talk Dirty To Me….yes well, part of the appeal is knowing what to say, and when to say it. I don’t think he’s every stuttered in his word, and trust me, he’s said some mess to me, that’s made me blush….He’s the only one who can do that….alone makes me blush….LOL, get a confident man, not insecure boy….your life…will be….much better for it. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Thursday.

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We’ve All Been 19

NINETEEN....
NINETEEN….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The rain wake you up? You can go back to sleep on the couch“…Ronnie to Sweetness….He’s sleeping like a baby…I get it.

Wanderlust Wednesday takes us not to a place in time, but a time in time. LOL, it’s mercy that I can laugh at it all now, but walking the same road myself, I know what a hurtful time and place NINETEEN is…. I was talking with a few friends yesterday about some nefarious mess going in on in my life right now….Ahh Memories….I wouldn’t trade them, but I wouldn’t relive them either. We’ve All Been 19. I get it. There’s a few things you should know about life sweetheart:

1. No one is going to GIVE you anything, and anyone that tries wants something from you. It is TRUE that while Grace is free, sex is not……know the difference.

2. That any med that ends in “Cillin” will kill you if you have an allergy to CILLIN! You are your best advocate. Ask lots of questions, and do not let them bully you.

3. Sharks don’t always have fins.

4. Bitches aren’t always strangers.

5. In responding to a comment about Coitus Interruptus being a form of birth control, Merrill responded, “What? No one does that”….and he’s right…dig?

6. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. You cannot change a man. You…cannot…change…a…MAN!

7. The world is not always kind, and it owes you nothing.

8. STD’s will kill you. Pregnancy is the least of your worries. Safe sex is YOUR responsibility.

9. No good deed goes unpunished.

10.You are stronger than you know…

To one special little sister know that guilt has its place but only if you did something wrong. Don’t get it twisted, Empathy is not guilt, and shame is worthless. You may look naive now, and you are, just imagine what a powerhouse you will be when you figure it out. Taking the Stand doesn’t mean you’re a badass, it means you knows your priorities. We’ve All Been 19…I wouldn’t go back to that place and time for anyone in the world. Besides, the sex is much better now…funny how that works out. Now, get out there ladies and create your destiny. I know, you got this because I did it. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Wednesday.

 

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It’s Nothing Personal

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Mommy, what’s up with that itty bitty guy?” Duchess asking about Peter Dinklage on “Pixels”.

She’s not very politically correct is she?

Watching an Adam Sandler movie with my son this morning really awakened my senses, because Mr. Sandler likes to use 80’s music in his films….I don’t like his movies, I do like his music….I did digress. When they’re young like Duchess, they speak their mind. I’m not going to temper that in her. She won’t be cruel, that I’ll work on, but she will call it like she sees it. That piece was killed in me a long time ago, but like a bad case of spicy foods, it came back up with a mean vengeance… If I can save her, or any Little Bro/Sis one-iota of the grief that I went through, I will. The thing with the young youngsters is their parents, society, life, and teachers haven’t told them YET to not to speak their impressions of the world. So, with much fanfare and amusement, they speak great words of observations, and we hush them. Don’t you find that a little snobbish of us? It’s like inviting me to The Rock 80’s ball, then telling me I can’t say nor write a word about what goes on? Sigh…It’s Nothing Personal…when we don’t allow our children to express the world through their voice, we crush their spirit and we set them up for a life of being completely unsatisfied.

I was hugging Merrill a few days ago, rubbing my face in his chest, and telling him how much I really, really loved him. What can I say, I was caught in a weak moment of gratitude, and felt the need to be spontaneous. Teasing me, he said, “You realize that just made you vulnerable doncha?” Well, vulnerability is a weakness, and like that, my attitude changed, the little girl in the stronghold awakened…she was ready to defend me against anyone seeking to do battle…. Why did he say that to me? He could have called me a bitch, and I would have just giggled and snuggled my nose into his neck….but being open with him, did make me vulnerable. Merrill will tell you that I am a very guarded person. There are things I will NOT discuss including sexual wants and needs…I dunno, telling a man what you like, gives him a little bit of power….except I’m not supposed to think that way….right? Ugh. When he asks me…I blush and look away usually cursing him for bringing it up. See, I can’t even talk about it now. You wanna discuss what Gonorrhea does to a penis? Want to talk about my menses? I’ll discuss that all day ya’ll all day, but have Merrill ask me what I like in bed, (EEK) and I freeze up….I know women my age, should be very BOLD and unafraid to ask for what they want, but I’m not comfortable with that..Pretty sure I know why….but I won’t discuss it here, nor now, or ever.
The dude on Pixel’s was short. He was. She was just calling it like she saw it and little sisters, you need to be very clear in what you want from the world, and your partner. Little sisters are a growing populate of new STI cases each year, because Little Sisters lack the maturity and negotiating skills to get her partner to use protection. I can see why. If I have issues relating my needs to my spouse of a quarter of a century, you would have issues relating your needs too. Nonetheless, trouble does not negate responsibility. You are going to blush, but you must put on your big girl panties and stand your sexual ground. Seriously, it will make you wish you were anywhere but THERE, but I gotta tell ya, you cannot go through any relationship with only one-half  of the partnership satisfied, and if your partner cared…they wouldn’t want that for you. Dig? Seriously Ladies, if a man has to ask you if you did, you didn’t…and I say dump him. Life is way too short for that mess, but it does bring home the point that you are your only Advocate. Again for the cheap seats….You….are….your….only….advocate. Only you can prevent forest fires, and only you know what you like. Sexually, physically, emotionally, spiritually you are worthy of satisfaction….feel me? Sex was made for you too. It doesn’t have to be a feminist, “You WILL submit to my vagina” (although LOL on THAT) it can be as simple as, “I really like it when you…..”. It’s Nothing Personal…but is it…and I get that. A good mate will get it too. Ya know, Merrill and I have an amazing, well-rounded relationship. I love that man without logic. He’s been through some sh*t with me, and we do talk…but every now and then, it’s hard for me to share; which in turn, screws him out of his turn to share with me. Funny how that works. Part of it is also trust…I do trust him, but like the Presidential disaster plan, I always keep a piece hidden away, just in case…I’m glad I have him…Okay, THAT’S ENOUGH. All I’m saying is this, Never be afraid to have the conversation about what you want, and what makes your uncomfortable….See, it was just that easy. Now I gotta go. I’ll tell HIM what I want. When the kids leave, I’m going to march up to him with some Essential Oils and shoe string, and I’m going to ask him to….PSYCH…I’m not telling you, I’ll tell him…I’ll let you know how it works out. See, THAT, I’m not afraid to share…..Be Blessed.
Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Monday.

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After Midnight

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It’s okay baby girl. Mommy’s here”….comforting a vomiting Duchess at 2am…

“Nothing good happens after midnight“…A really hot Medic I once talked to…he’s right.

I’m not a MOM BLOG. I’m a mom who blogs, get it freaking straight. Once you’re labeled a Mom Blog, you become a marked woman, like you no longer have a personal life. For example, A Mr. Bubble, (A children’s bubble bath) ad was sent to my inbox the other day, with the message, “Try me“. Why? Why would I try you? Oh you mean my kids? You want my kids to try you? Well, market to them, on the Saturday am, Disney Network. Actually, I’d have been less offended if it were a Epsom Salt email asking me to soak my geriatric feet in its healing properties….you know…cause I’m old see! You’ll have to forgive me…I’m a little bitchy right now.  Mr. Vomitus never come while everyone is still awake. No…Mr. Vomitus, likes to show up After Midnight, when you, your spouse and babies are all snuggled in the bed, sound asleep. Somewhere around 2am I heard Merrill say, “She’s vomiting“. I don’t mind Vomitus. After all, I am a mom, I’ve been vomited on… I mind the pH smell it leaves behind…on my chest and in my hair. After Midnight.…We’ve forgotten more about life than some of you will ever live, and yet, we get the least amount of respect in society. That’s about to change.

Looking at my body in the mirror last night, I was very satisfied with the progress I’ve made. Yes, I got some stripes, but that won’t matter when the surgeon gets a hold of me…What? You thought I was going to go gracefully? Not my style, but that’s MY style, not societies. There is a difference. I think “society” is afraid of older women, and that’s why they’re always trying to brain wash us into accepting our lot…to move aside for the younger ones….to hush…but society does that because older women are not afraid. We’re not. I read that in a recent study of human behavior, that 9 out of 10 Little Sisters admitted to feeling like everyone in society is judging them; which had a negative impact on their choices. On the other hand, when asked the same question, older women responded, “Do I know you?“. You’re never going to escape society’s judgment. The trick, Little Sisters, is to not care, and turn the judgment back on them..I’ve done that.

The new Spring Fashion line from Chanel, Gucci, and Dior is ugly. There, I said it. I wouldn’t buy their crap to dress my daughter’s American Girl doll…but many Little Sisters would, because they still believe that Dior and Gucci have their finger on the pulse of fashion. I mean just because a Kardashian was photographed on the front row of the Chanel show, they believe the Chanel line is the fashion of the elite…but it isn’t. I saw a dress from LV, that was completely see through on the top, and sheer on the bottom, for business casual. Um, Boobies at the Board Meeting? I mean, okay…but we, and the MEN in power, will judge you…you know that right? When asked, the majority of women my age said they preferred Victoria Secret Pink line, over the ugliness of D&G. I agree with that, because I also like the Pink line, although to look at their advertising, they’re geared for College Freshmen who have NO money…but I have money. Lots and lots of money LOL, and nary a single fashion icon wants it. Get it? We have financing, but only a sliver of the marketing pie. I don’t want a commercial featuring an older man needing to take a pill to rock my world. I want a man, like Merrill, whose always ready, and always trying to position himself to get a look at my ass. It’s not insulting, it’s empowering because I work hard on it. I don’t have to be skinny because society say’s that skinny women are happier. They are NOT! A woman my age knows she’s beautiful, and dresses to please herself, not the taste of society.  I am not the kids-smiling-in-the bathtub Instagram kind of mom…shoot, my kids don’t even bathe…they shower. I’m not a Stepford Mom. I do not make orderly love to my husband, keep secrets hush-hush, I do not cut the crusts off of sandwiches, I say the “F” word a lot, I give open, honest advice to those who ask. I should be on the cover of Glamour, because I have more Little Sisters wanting to be like ME, than the skinny-minnie Twiggie Pops on the cover.  After Midnight…that’s when the nefarious mess goes down, and as I was holding the body of my baby in distress last night, I thought to myself, “This…may be the only thing that connects me to a normal mom“, So I cannot advise you on how to be a good mom, but if you wanna know how to have great sex after 40…talk to me. Want to stand up to a bully, get your way with your man using your great ass? Talk to me… Society also doesn’t warn you what happens when you mess with older women..So, I’m back. I know what must be done…and I’m okay with that. Gotta go. Cleaning up the chunks of Mr. Vomitus. Pretty sure it’s going to strike at least 2 more times before it leaves my house…but I’m ready for him….Being an older mom, means I’m also a more experienced mom….Mr. Vomitus, you messed with the wrong mom who blogs….I got this. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Thursday.

 

 

 

 

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