Tag: The Sex

My Baby Boy

He's growing up so fast.
He’s growing up so fast.

“Are you and Daddy having The Sex?” Sweetness, age 6, when walking in on Merrill showing me some affection.

The weather outside matches my mood, as I tremble at the thought of taking my son to camp later. Actually, I won’t. His father thought it best I stay behind lest I embarrass My Baby Boy in front of his peers. How could I embarrass him? I was only going to talk to the Coach about his need to rest often (his asthma) check the hot water to make sure it works, talk to the dinning staff about his nutrition needs…look over the medical staff certifications to make sure they’re qualified to treat hin, and speak with his RA regarding the firmness of his mattress and the distance from his bed to the restroom….HOW IS THAT EMBARRASSING? Well, maybe a little. See, It will be his 1st time away from mommy.  Sweetness is going to basketball camp, and will be trained by a famed coach…..and while it brings me great pleasure to give him this opportunity, it does mean his absence in the house. My Baby Boy, does every mother worry about her son…or is it just me?

Sure was a lot easier when he was younger, running around the house like a TMNT, Power Ranger, yelling, “To Infinity and Beyond”. A boy needs his mother, and he’s going to be without one for 5 days. I’m mean, sure he’s a smart mouth little punk whose only purpose is to get smacked in the mouth, but we do things together too. We talk about his day, his ATA Family (hint: He tells me EVERYTHING that goes on there), we talk about stuff that matters to little boys. With whom will I speak while he’s gone? Whose going to be his mommy….No, he needs me. I simply cannot let him go. It’s too risky….I’ll talk to Merrill about this. It’s a mistake to let him go….He’s not ready….

“Are you guys having the sex?”. Such a sweet question from a little boy too young to understand that mommies and daddies do love each other. We were forced to give him Part 1 of The Sex talk that day, in which we had to share that The Sex, helps mommies and daddies have babies. Thinking about his, he finally concluded, that the Kruger’s don’t have The Sex, because they don’t have kids….he was going educate his 4th Black Belt Instructor about The Sex helping him have babies……”We don’t talk about The Sex” we warned..”Not everyone KNOWS”.  I should have let him…..(Happy Birthday Mr. K). So this mommy is faced with the realization that in just a few short hours, her little boy, is going to be gone. Sigh. Will they feed him? Will they read him his favorite story when he gets scared? Do they know his favorite song? My guess is “No”….they do not/will not. Ya know, Merrill chose ME…out of all the other easy women he could have had, to be the mommy to his babies….I am a good HELICOPTER mom…which is why I’m surprised that he doesn’t want ME taking My Baby Boy to camp and talking to his coach….strange. Gotta go. His daddy packed for him last night, but he forgot to pack his bunny, his favorite book and his special foods. I’ll miss my son….my sweet Baby Boy but he’ll make a good man, husband and father someday. I’ll just have to find a way to sneak in camp…later this week….and check on him. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Wednesday.

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Dating

My Caretaker
My Caretaker

Asking Merrill if we would meet up at the coffee shop today, for our “date”, Sweetness interrupts with, “You guys can’t date, you’re married”. Just like the time he wanted to know about, The Sex, I handed said explanation over to Merrill because after all, he wanted The Boy, he should take the lead, and be a father. Merrill, true man style, chose to use the Call a Friend feature on the conversation, and handed it back to me (WUSS), so I explained to Sweetness that “dates” aren’t always for single people looking to marry up with eligible mates. Sometimes they are mommy and daddy’s way of getting out of the house, with NO babies, for some private time. While explaining private time, I had to be very careful not to give him the impression that private meant “The Sex” because Merrill had once made the mistake of telling his only begotten son that mommies and daddies do The Sex in private. Sweetness accepted this brief wrap up of The Date with no questions and moved on…..but it did get me to thinking exactly what it is, we show our kids, about relationships.


The martial relationship I have with Merrill is unique at best. In the midst of all the, “You’re such an ass” affirmations, stands a relationship that has stood the test of time. We love/hate, but at least it’s passionate….We allow our kid’s see our affection, and conflicts, carefully noting what resolution, if any, may exist. Relationships don’t always get topped with the pretty pink bow that Disney would have us purchase….NOPE, sometimes a little crow makes for a good dinner, and we try to let them see that. The flaw in Sweetness’s thinking was that dating is what the television and Rap stars models, BUT “Dating” in the martial world is about getting together and connecting while there is time left, because if we don’t, not only will we have an empty nest, but an empty relationship as well. Dating, for us, isn’t discussing our feelings, (God NO never the feelings), but just the laptops, coffee and the quite assurance that the other is there, and will always be there, through the good-bad-ugly and believe you me, there’s been a lot of UGLY.


So, the Date, may not end in The Sex, but like The Sex it does bring us closer in not only the physical sense, but the metaphysical realm as well. The Mommy/Daddy date is about connecting on a plane greater than the diaper changes, the vomitus, the “MOMMY, she’s touching me”, and finally the lullaby’s…the sweet, sweet lullaby’s we share with Duchess. Mommy/Daddy dating is a way to be together without the distraction of being Mommy/Daddy and how very blessed are we, to be able to do it together, over coffee.
I’m here right now, writing, blogging, stressing and choosing, while he…..he is surfing porn….You never know….he could be. Dating, it doesn’t have to end with the dinner, the awkward kiss, followed up with, “Will she or won’t she?”. It can be the simple, “I’m here, God is in His heaven, and all is right with the world.” Everything is exactly as it should be…..when DATING…..Be Blessed.

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Say What?

 

Two Peas in a Pod.
Two Peas in a Pod.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Merrill’s children are a different breed (can I write that?) from the rest of the world’s children. The closest anyone could even possible come to the antics of these babies, would be Red Rooster (Merrill’s brother) and his children….Although now that I think about it, his sister, the lovely Renee, has a child that wrote the book Sweetness reads…..gasp….it’s a Family thing. In this house, there are/have been expressions one  would only hear here, so I thought I’d write them down for your amusement. If something seems questionable, don’t ask. Chances are we don’t know either. Enjoy the status I simply titled, “Say What?”

  1. Penis’s and Poptarts should never touch son.
  2. No, Mommy and Daddy are NOT having sex. (This one I’ll explain. Merrill had walked up behind me while I was doing dishes, and kissed me on the back of my neck).
  3. Stop singing, “I have a big butthole”.
  4. No Duchess. Happy Birthday is NOT your song, we WILL sing it to your father (you saw the video, yes).
  5. You are NOT Buzzlightyear. Get down from that dresser.
  6. When I’m an old man, I’m coming over to your house, and rubbing MY balls on YOUR couch.
  7. Get your naked ass dressed. You’re going to burn it off. (My son has a habit of standing naked in front of the heater. I do it too).
  8. No, you may NOT ask Mr. Kruger about The Sex, he doesn’t know about it yet.
  9. Did you mean Photosynthesis? (Sweetness had been asking us what “Hypothomus” meant. The more we struggled with him, the louder he said it….HYPOTHOMUS. Finally Merrill said, “Son saying it louder doesn’t make us understand it more. Did you mean Photosynthesis?”).
  10. By GOD Hulk better not have said, “Bitch”……
  11. Bonus: We do not repeat what mommy says. She makes Jesus cry.

I’ll simply end with, “Aren’t kids the best?”. If you have ONE….please share. I’d love to read it. Be Blessed. Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Friday.

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