Tag: Toddlerlife

No Judgement

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Oh don’t get this mess twisted. I am NOT a California mom. I WILL beat your ass!” Ronnie to Duchess

No Judgement…..okay, just a little judgement.

It’s interesting to note, that I don’t know whether it’s because I’m away from my core support, I’m frustrated, or that it’s just the real me coming out, but I’ve found myself, reverting to what my true personality style.  Meh, probably a mixture of all the above. I am vulgar….I am severe….I am offensive! Deal with it. I don’t begrudge California mom’s a single thing in the world. I mean, it’s not like I LOVE my kids more, they love their kids less…it’s just that we have very different parenting styles. I’ll belch in front of my kids, tell my son to suck it up, smack my daughter in the mouth, whereas, I’ve not seen much of that out here….I dunno, they may be more cultured here….HEY, I’ve never, EVER said I was cultured….I am, for all Intensive Purposes (I know) a Ozarkian mom….a Beer drinking, Brat eating, Midwest Farmer’s Daughter, and Gosh Darn it, people like me…or they hate me…there is no in between…No Judgement… We all judge…whether we mean to or not.

I was watching a Cali mom, um, negotiate with her toddler this morning, and I KNOW my face (Becky) belied what I was thinking. You don’t negotiate with a toddler, but I can’t judge that….Coming back from Merrill Family Vacation last August, Duchesses decided she was hungry, and started the slow clap chant of, “I want McDonalds, I want McDonalds, I want McDonalds”….but I told her, “No…we’re tired of eating there“….”I WANT McDonalds (it was nap time), I WANT McDonalds (then a song), I want McDonalds, Donald, Donald, I want McDonald“, desperate I looked at Merrill and said, “For the love of all things holy, find a FREAKING McDonalds“….so see? I’m not much better…but the toddler this morning, clearly aware of her positioning in the family, held the upper hand, and the more the toddler held on to her guns, the more embarrassed the mom became, and before we all knew it, the toddler was doing exactly what she wanted….”Well, you could have saved us all a lot of heartache if you’d let her do IT” I thought….but that was wrong….sorta.

I was standing in Duchess’s new ASP with a brand new step mom. She was tall, beautiful, young woman, of professional stature. She had the aura of someone who wanted to be a good mom, but her new step son, did NOT want to leave just yet. I walked in and said, “Let’s go Duchess“….”NO! I’m busy” she responded. “Well that’s too bad. Guess I’ll drink your smoothie in the car“…“OH! I’m coming mommy” and she grabbed her bag and made her way to the door….”I’ll have to remember that” the new mom said to me, “I can’t get him out of here“….”Yes well, I’ve been a mom for 28 years…you’ll figure it out. I promise…..BTW, you’re doing a great job. Just being here, shows him you care. He’ll come around” and with that, I walked out. See, I’ve seen this new trend on social media, in which moms get it up, for shaming other moms. That’s not right. IDGAF who you are, being a mommy is the hardest job in the world. It is the ONLY job where you’re exhausted at the end of the day, you don’t get paid, and frankly, the guilt you feel ALL THE TIME about being a good mommy weights almost as much as the new Fall Line LV luggage I saw at the store. Mom’s should be encouraging each other, supporting each other. I don’t want read how you catered your 18 month old’s party with fancy ice-cube decorations….I want to know how you got rid of his cough, how you get them to eat anything other than chicken nuggets, and please for the love of Dior, how did you get her past McDonalds? No Judgment folks, but come on….we judge, because we base our worth as a human on how well we run our families, and in this household, chaos rules…in this house, we yell, like a LOT! I mean, I hate that, but it just is what it is. I can’t be that bad, because my son holds my hand when we cross the street, Duchess snuggles up to me, Merrill couldn’t wind his ass, or scratch his watch without me….so as Peg Bundy as I am….and I AM Peg Bundy…we’re doing okay. As a final thought, I actually told my son today, “Son. Watch those hugs from girls. It’s a different time now. Girls are brutal, and they will lie to save themselves”…..”How do I know if a girl is lying mom?” he asked me….”If her lips are moving son…if her lips are moving, she’s lying“. Don’t judge me. That boy is my life….I WILL kill for him. I’ll kill YOU, and anyone else who wants to step…No Judgment….See, you’re judging me a little right now, but you know who I am….and I don’t care. Let’s hold each other up…this is a hard life friends…..it’s better when you have help. Be Blessed.

Remember you set The Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Tuesday.

 

 

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George Washington DC

She IS Adorable
She IS Adorable

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You were looking forward to this vacation. You had on the rose-colored glasses this time, YOU were the Pollyanna. Still feel that way Stud Muffin?”

No…not at all” Merrill

It’s amazing how quickly children will make or break a vacation.

It wasn’t/isn’t like it’s the Chevy Chase Vacation of the 1980’s. No, this is the older parents, old enough to be grandparents-parents, vacation. We, like most of our peers, should be sleeping in with children well into teenage years, or maybe even adults. We chose to have our children later in life, therefore, whereas you all are gently sleeping in right now, beds full of goose down feathers, visions of your lazy newspaper in bed while you drink coffee and mess around, we are fighting children…just to go eat. My back hurts, Merrill is starving, and the baby? Well, she’s running around interchanging the phrases “When can we go swimming?” with “When can we go to George Washington DC?” Hmmm, George Washington DC, because our vacations, are not yours. Curse this wanderlusting….

So okay. I am tired, and I am sore. That bed isn’t friendly to those who have bad backs, and Merrill’s been so exhausted himself, that he hasn’t even tried the, “Hey, we’re in a new STATE!” game he likes to play, when we’re in a new state. Chasing two children around the Carnegie Museum, in Pittsburgh, had us both promising that we would never again try to ingrain some culture into these two heathens. Let em be crumbsnatchers for all I care. Duchess chose the Carnegie Museum to exert the “last child privilege”, by screaming at the top of her voice, “NO. You can’t make me”; which was true, I couldn’t make her….but I could drag her, and drag her I did…a 40lbs piece of child through the Chanel collection….I have a hernia now. People thought we were part of the art collection, because art is whatever you make of it…they tried to compliment me on my use of modern child-rearing situations in cultured environments. I have a showing next week. I haven’t pooped in TWO DAYS…there is no Jamie Lee Curtis and her yogurt, nor ESSENTIAL OIL (don’t bother) that’s gonna help me be back on my regular schedule…now if they made an EO that allowed for a total disconnect of your life while you child touches the Van Gogh, and say’s, “That’s ugly”…right next to the sign that states, “Parents, please do not let your children touch the Van Gogh-We will SHOOT you”…then I’ll buy it, and use it. Until then…

Sleeping in until 7am this morning, Merrill announced to the world he was starving, and by God we’d better get ready so he could eat. Generally, I like to sit and drink some coffee before I get up and chase kids. Only 3 zoos in the States have panda bears, and we’re going to one of them today, although, I did swear….on a stack of BIBLES yesterday…..that we were NOT going to the zoo, and that we would promptly turn the Spring Break mobile around and go 700 miles back home….and I meant it….but I was tired…my throat was sore from cursing, my arm was hurt from dragging. When the beautiful king sized bed finally called me, I was out…but by midnight, there were three other bodies in there with me. Sigh….#momlife is pretty cool….but sometimes, it isn’t. Gotta go. George Washington DC and it’s freaking panda’s await. So looking forward to a day of screaming, crying, tantrums, and cursing…and that’s just ME. Baby making is for the young. I should be a Sylvester Granny at 46….but NO. I had to love him, have his babies, and blah, blah, blah. I hate him….him and his little, “This will be fun” attitude. Screw him, he can go raise these children with some young chick who’ll love him for his money. I’M OUT. Panda’s do have it good you know. They just plop out the babies, and they go on to star in loving children’s movies…..To be fat, black and white, and asleep, right now would be so very cool….so very, very cool….Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you Are the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.

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When I’m A Grandma

16402792_1239221172780933_8971493552307712678_o“I can’t wait to see Nana Mommy. I love my Nana. Is Nana there, or did she go to Walmart? Does Nana know I’m in a Princess Pageant this weekend? Will Nana go watch me? Does Nana know about Dudley? Did she see the drawing I made her? I peed my pants today mommy, don’t tell Nana. I love my Nana”…..Duchess excited to find out her Nana had arrived.

I only know MOM….I have no idea who Nana is! When I dropped her off at school yesterday, I promised The Toddler that when I came back, my mother…her Nana…would be waiting for her at the house. She loves her grandmother, but then again, so do Sweetness and Princess. Funny, I don’t remember her being so cool when I was growing up. When I’m A Grandma I’m not going to be cool. I’m going to be the same hard-ass, jack wagon I am now. Those kids WILL NOT walk over me….oh, and I won’t be called grandma, Nana, Maw or any other cute name…Ms. Ronnie will do just fine thank you very much.

Let Merrill be old and a push over…..I ain’t got time for that mess. Besides once you become a grandparent, you don’t get Nesquick anymore….it’s a law! Don’t get mad at me for that….I like my Nesquick…but I did digress. Duchess is a bad kid…well not a BAD kid, she’s just a little high-strung and high maintenance, but around her grandmother, my mother, she’s a freaking angel. A sweet faced little girl who does what she’s told to do…and I’m like, “Where is my daughter?”…..It really does seem to me, she’d be worse, because my mother lets her do whatever she wants….well, not stomp the roses. She wouldn’t let Duchess stomp her roses, but come on…she didn’t even yell at her…she just said, “We don’t stomp grandma’s roses” and like that…she quit stomping…No, my mom, tells the Toddler to do stuff, and I’ll be damned, she does it….sometimes with a “Okay Nana”….no argument? No fighting? No, “I HATE YOU”?….But my mother is a different person too…. I watched my mom play telephone with Duchess last night and thought to myself, “Hmmm, she never played telephone with me!”

So what is it about being a grandparent that changes one from the “Dear Jesus don’t let me KILL this child” to the, “Oh she’s fine, let her play with my favorite knick-knack”? My mother, patiently sat and watched Trolls last night, a movie that did not impress me, and frankly annoyed me a little bit….but there sat mom…with Duchess snuggled up against her….made me sick. My mother, buys things for the babies, things they don’t need, but to ask her for a new pair of shoes growing up, and I’d have to mow lawns until the cows came home to get a dime from her….No, my mom, will go to Walmart, (when it’s not under a bomb threat), and buy crayons and freaking coloring books for a child who has too many crayons and coloring books. This is not the same woman who raised me….I have no idea who this woman is…….When I’m A Grandma I am going to make those bratty ass children tow the line, and behave…the way I made their parents. No goodie/goodie, ‘Oh they’re so adorable’ persona for me….Let Merrill be the pushover…he doesn’t need Nesquick anyway, and yes, the thought of some of you grandparents having sex, does disgust me….Gotta go. Nana is watching Mickey Mouse with the Toddler….WTH? I don’t even know who that woman is…anymore…..oh and before you hate on me speaking so boldly about my mother, understand that I give the same crap to Sgt. Major…..that man is NOT the Drill Sgt. I remember. If you knew him 20yrs ago..all bossing little GI’s around, you’d not know him today…playing with the grand kids….That will so NOT be ME. I’m too cool to be a push over. Be Blessed.

 

 

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I Do

1000657_947739388595781_4635086820268362442_nYeah, NO you weren’t THAT pretty”…Merrill answering the “Was I pretty enough to make this all worth it?” question, but in his defense….

The kids are assholes, and anyone whom has a problem with that, doesn’t have my kids. Taking Duchess to the doctor last night, we decided to go to La Pot for dinner, because it was close, and right across the street. Mmmm, love me some La Pot…they know us there…we’ve been customers since Princess was but a wee baby sleeping with the pea under her mattress….so when they see us walking in, they close off the back section, to allow Team MVP to eat in privacy, but not because we’re important, but because our kids are assholes. Running, jumping, cussing and just being BAD..they’re BAD KIDS….! I’d hate me too…. I DO….I’ve been with him, longer than I’ve been without him, and I’m not sure he’s okay with that.

I’m not going to kick up any dirt. You all know what we’ve been through. What doesn’t kill a relationship only makes for miserable spouses…but “I do” means a lot more than getting to sleep together, even if the sex is good, it’s not THAT GOOD. Let me break it down for you… “I do” means to wipe away the tears as she weeps over her grandmother’s death, or when he weeps over the news his mother had died during surgery (she came back). “I do” means to widen your eyes, and shut your mouth when she vomits and makes the noise of a zebra mating, or when he’s in his am constitution and makes the sound of an elephant vomiting….”I do” means making love when you don’t want to, eating his Cooking Channel experiment for dinner, cleaning the urine ring from around the toilet….”I do” means seeing the other at his/her worse, and still thinking, “That’s one sexy beast”.

“I do” means holding his hand as his son’s head is pouring blood from the big gaping hole in the middle of it, as his daughter is placed in a coma to calm her brain waves, as his mother in law comes to visit. “I do” means standing up to the RN because they won’t let him sleep in the Cardio ICU..calling MD’s with questions, calling his boss to explain his heart attack.  “I do” means saying “I’m sorry” when feeling are hurt, fights end badly, you’re simply wrong”. “I do” means sacrificing the YOUR desires for the best of the family finances, saying ‘no’ when he wants that new computer, saying ‘yes’ when he wants to go to the Illinois game. “I do” means more than just the Nesquick that one gets to enjoy as a married couple, it means thick/thin, good/bad, pretty/ugly, cry/laugh, joy/pain….Sigh…love/hate. It means Til Death separates……So I gotta go. Slept in the recliner last night because SOMEONE’S daughter had croup, and the cough was painful for her…I’m taking a nap. “I Do” means staying up with the toddler while the wife catches up with some sleep….all HIS kids are assholes, mine are good….but if I’d known then what I know now…I’d still have done it all…one night stand and everything. LOL, I can’t say he feels the same…he’s still trying to figure out how it all went south. Be Blessed.

Remember you set The Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Saturday.

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You’re Not My Daddy

prayer_clip_artThe problem with Free Will is that it’s free will. Why can’t He just MAKE us behave?“….Ronnie to Merrill, a hundred years ago.

My relationship with the Lord has been rocky at best. I spent most of my childhood sans a father figure, then God comes along and tells me He’s my daddy, loves me very much, and I’m supposed to just run into His “loving arms” and weep? No…I’ve made it this far, thank you very much. I didn’t get it…but honestly, how was I supposed to…there had not been a man whom stayed in my life for any length of time, and as far as LOVING me, well daddies who love their children, don’t leave their children…Judge me all you want, but unlike God, I judge men based on their actions, not their heart. The greatest flaw I see with the Church today, is that is teaches a Doctrine based on 4 walls, after all, did we go to God, or did God come to us? You’re Not My Daddy…the lifetime of experiences and lessons I had to learn before I understood what a real Daddy was.

The Bible is an amazing book, but if one doesn’t have the pre-reqs, it’s just words, written by old men. Statistics without Math 107, is just numbers, and simply singing Jesus Loves Me as toddlers doesn’t really prepare us for the hardships, then the decision, that we must eventually make to be “Saved by Faith”. Life sucks…people are mean, the devil is real…how does one navigate all that, then still come to the conclusion that God Loves Us? After all, if He really loved us, then all the bad stuff wouldn’t happen to us. Confused, I spent my life making my own rules. I was a good person, and that was going to have to be enough. I answered to NO MAN…I gave NO GROUND…I made no excuses…..after all, don’t open your heart, and you won’t hurt your heart…but is that really a life?

So, here sat Ronnie, trying to understand how a Heavenly Father, could allow bad things to happen to innocent children. Adults, as far as I was concerned, were on their own. Like the horror movies we hate, Children and animals were supposed to be off-limits, and yet it seemed they were the most often destroyed. I didn’t have an Earthly Father, therefore, the Heavenly Father concept meant little to me. In a rare faith-based conversation with Merrill, I asked him, “Why can’t God just tell me what to do? After all, if He wants obedience, then He should make us OBED (not a real word)! “God wanted a willing soul” Merrill began, “If He made us obey, we’d just be robots”…and WHOOMP there it was….I understood Robots…then I understood the concept of Free Will. You don’t want your children to FEAR…God no, I had known true fear, and I’d never wish that upon the ones I loved. Free Will means reaching down into the depth of your soul, regardless of the hurt and pain you’ve been through, to understand that HE hated what happened, as much as (maybe more) you hated what happened…. It took me watching Merrill be a good father, to understand what a good father was! A good father cannot protect us from ourselves, a good father, must sometimes sit back and watch the horrors, knowing that the Valley Of Death (Yea though I walk through), may be a the better teacher than he ever was! You’re Not My Daddy, was an arrogant assumption of a child too hurt to see that Free Will, was the irony of evil, and a blessing of God. It would take a few more years to understand how my stubborn pride could be used for His glory….As a Church in the End Times, we need to understand that there are those whom may not have a daddy, so they can’t understand The Daddy. They are not going to come to us…we must go to them, and frankly, the Biblical principal held that the Disciples went into the nations….Some…have never stepped foot inside the building, and even we confuse the building with The Church.

You’re Not My Daddy….It took Merrill, age, maturity and my own offspring to see that Free Will….means not having robots for children. He wants us to love him, not because He can MAKE us love him, but because we want to love him…I get now, what a daddy is…my prayer for you, is that you see His Daddiness regardless of what, we His Children, do….Trust me, He’ll punish us for your stumbles….know that. I can see it now, God sitting on His Throne, on stage with Maury saying, “God….You ARE The Daddy”….and Him jumping, hi-fiving the audience, and the more, the better. He wants a loving, real child….not a mindless robot…I get it….NOW. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.

 

 

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Playing Favorites

They're adorable...right?
They’re adorable…right?

“Hmmmmm”. Ronnie upon reading the news that Sophie Theallet will not dress Melania Trump.

Sophie Theallet, famed designer to the first lady Michelle Obama, made headlines this week, when she announced that she would refuse to dress Melania Trump, because, “The values of the Presidential Campaign were incompatible with the shared values “we” live by”. I don’t know whom “WE” are, but whatever. I’m hip. See, this is the United States of America. We have the freedoms to choose whom we will and will not serve….If Ms. Theallet does not want to…..WAIT! Wasn’t there a baker, and a B&B sued for refusing service to a couple that had values “incompatible” with the values “they” shared? Playing Favorites….let me break it down for you using two naked children as an example.

Sweetness is not fond of his sister. I mean he loves her, he adores her, but he doesn’t like her. I’ll expound….First thing in the morning, both kiddo’s want to stand naked in front of the heater. I dunno, they’re like their momma I guess…Sooo, Sweetness stands naked in front of the heater, then when Duchess gets up, and strips naked, both vie for the same heater….often it results in a fight, dukes flying, with Duchess pushing her brother out-of-the-way…then he pushes back…and I hear a “MOM!!!” Duchess wins the space in front of the heater….her parent played favorites, to shut the screaming toddler up! Understand this…we know Sweetness was there first…His victory righteous, we just don’t want to hear the toddler, and frankly, she’s weaker, she’s a girl…blah…blah…blah. She knows this…so every chance he has to get back at her…he does….Don’t feel too sorry for him….the boy makes out okay.

We have a society, in which the government, our parents, played favorites. I’ll admit that Sweetness does get the short end of the stick, because I don’t want to hear The Toddler whine, but that’s not fair….then in a state of envy (?) he’ll do anything he can to get back at her…sound familiar? Sigh, I created this monster, and make no bones about it, Duchess, like many on the left…is a monster. Our disdain is not for each other, but our parents, the Elected Ones….they are the ones, not wanting to address actual slights, whom thought it easier to just give over the heater, than to identify the real victor.  Do you get it? If a high-profile designer (and others) can boycott the Trumps because of incompatible values, (and I ain’t mad at them) then I know of a few cases before the magistrates right now, that need dismissing…and if they’re not…things are only going to get worse. The government, Playing Favorites, is why Trump was elected. Honestly, we would have voted for a carrot if one had ran…..I hope The Elected Ones understand that there are times when it’s completely acceptable to step off and let the kids handle their business in their own way. Duchess and Sweetness will beat the hell out of each other, then 10 minutes later, they’re fine. Now I gotta go. I’m sleep deprived, I have to finish studying, then answer the slew of hate mail I’ll be getting for this status, but think about this…WTF is shared values anyway? I mean, aside from Murder, do we even have them anymore? Don’t let the hate divide you. Like my grandmother always said, “Love thy brother and sister. They’ll be your best friends one day”…….now, can I get in on the heater, I’m cold? Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.

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Strong Willed Child

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“I heard this guy’s son died during a tonsillectomy”

“How old was he?”

“Nine”

“Good talk”….

 

So, is there anyone out there whom is not aware of Duchess’s disposition? A wily one, she slips out of my grasp every time I try to reach out and HOLD her..LOL, she will not be held…!. She is, what many would call, a “Strong Willed Child”. I feel like the Bible was, in its own ambiguous way, trying to tell us that The Prodigal Son was also a Strong Willed Child, giving parents assurances that to God, they are special indeed…and she is special….Duchess is not to be tamed, only contained and even then, there’s few methods of containment that do….Sigh….but I respect her….she’s my Merida….sans the red curly hair…the Strong Willed Child….she’s earned her Right to be Obnoxious.

Her conception was fairly unremarkable (LOL), but her development into Duchess is a different story. She sat dormant, separated from her brother Sweetness, for 6yrs before we came and got her from the bank. Few know that Duchess was triplets, I lost the other two…one of the top 5 worst weeks of my life. When your body rejects the embryo, there’s nothing you can do about it….it changes you. We struggled to keep her in utero…one year later, as my timeline will soon remind me, we almost lost her again…to a series of seizures that shook the life out of her…..Listen, watching your child almost die in front of you is not wish I have for even the strongest of mine enemies. She was in Peds ICU a whole week, medications for 3 years…. and the other slips and slides of her life…well, that will her story one day….my point is this….

The more I’ve held on to her, the more she’s struggled out of my grasp. This girl is either going to make a man very happy or very miserable…but she is going to beat the Zombies….TRUST…I try to remember that other parents have it far worse…and I pray for them. Mommy’s it’s hard right? Finding the balance between raising them in a manner that Christ could be proud, and not beating the crap out of them….LOL….I don’t spank her….So, these things are indeed out of our control…..I, Princess, and Sweetness are sans our tonsils….at least I know what to expect and that’s 1/2 the battle right? So, it is with a heavy heart, and laden mind that I hand my baby over to The Father for safekeeping…..the ultimate babysitter….the ultimate sacrifice of trust….Sigh….the #momlife is cruel….I gotta go. She’s sleeping in as she cannot eat, like at all. Oh look, a Guardian…wonder if he’ll go to the hospital with me? I could use all the help we can get…..Peace be with you today….Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, TGIF….

 

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The Princess Is Coming

The Kids of Veronica Philips
The Kids of Veronica Philips

“Mommy please don’t be mad at me anymore”. Duchess to a very guilty-feeling Countess. She knows what she’s doing.

Duchess IS cunning, but she ain’t got jack on her older sister, Princess; whom….is coming home today. The babies are excited, anticipating her arrival….(me too). Should anything happen to Merrill and I, Princess gets the babies and its disconcerting when she tells Sweetness, “Don’t worry buddy. We get to take care of her when she gets old”, that may be true, but she’s got to get through Duchess first, and believe you me, I don’t think they realize just how powerful she is, but I do, and I’m taking preemptive measures to make sure I have an Advocate in my Golden Years….The Princess is Coming…Ronnie loves her babies, but Ronnie’s not stupid either.

The hardest thing you’ll ever do for your children is NOTHING. I’m a mommy, and have been so for almost 27 years, so heed my words kind folk, when I say to you that we have to let our children, succeed and fail without our intrusion. In home care, there is a fine line between providing care and enabling. In other words, like a toddler, if they can do it themselves, they SHOULD do it themselves. For The Toddler, the Adult Child and The Beloved Elderly Client, WE must step aside, and let them falter…on their own…..The results of enabling, are devastating. Ultimately, you’ll end up with a loved one so dependent they can’t make a decision on their own……and really, what’s the greater sin, Binding an individual’s liberty, or Crippling an individual’s Independence? Pick one, they both suck….

The 1st child experiences the mistakes of the parents. The 2nd child experiences the mistakes of the parents with the 1st child, and the 3rd child sneaks out the door and does her own thing because the parents are too tired to care anymore. A co-worker called me yesterday, taking offense with a manifesto I had written earlier in the week, scolding the team for collective errors in our care of a client. Actually, right after she called, she wrote her own manifesto…refusing to admit her part in the collective failure. Sigh, there are none so blind as those who refuse to accept responsibility for their actions, and I for one, would never hire her. Society, as parents, caregivers, family and friends, do harm in the world, when we create opportunities for dependence. I think that’s the essence of this election. It’s not greed, it’s reality, a parental understanding that in order for our children to walk or ride a bike, the parent has to let go….feel me? I get that we want to adopt all the animals, give alms to the poor, and save all the children, but in saving, if we take away the right to liberty, then we’ve failed and failed mightily! Victory is far sweeter if it’s earned, rather than given….So, I am corrupting the mind of Duchess. When I’m 100, and Merrill has left me for (2) 40 year olds, I’m going to need Duchess to protect me from Princess and Sweetness because Karma is a bitch. Truth is, dignity does not come cheap. It’s hard, challenging and time-consuming, it requires patience, love and an understanding that to do nothing, is far greater than to do something. What GOOD PARENT or GOOD CHILD would want to cripple the future Zombie Killers of the world? Not me….thumb sucking adults get killed first….so suck it…..Okay gotta go, The Princess Is Coming…..She’s beautiful, smart and perfect…how many mistakes could I have made? LOL, I’ve made a few… Can’t wait until she gets here. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Saturday.

 

 

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The Toddler

 She will totally grow up to kill the undead....
She will totally grow up to kill the undead….

So, I’m going back outside later, to plant some roses and patio flowers that I didn’t get to yesterday. Mental note…make sure The Toddler is napping before going back out into the dirt. I mean, I know she’s just trying to help, but…well I just don’t want to eat dirt again. The #toddlerlife vs. #momlife….it’s a Battle of Merrill’s Girls….with The Toddler ahead by a point.

Having raised a 26yr old Princess, and her best friend the other Princess, I can PROMISE you….if you blink, you will miss the entire childhood of your babies. Those beautiful bundles come into your life with great fanfare, they turn 5…10…16…they get the keys to the car…..before you know it, they’re walking the stage at their High School Graduation….then they leave for the 1st day of college….BTW, that’s a HARD one (took me 2wks to stop crying)….they graduate college, get a job, turn 21…move away. Some have babies, some don’t……and while they’ll always be YOUR baby, they’re NOT baby babies….anymore…Actually, a toddler screaming,”Poo Poo’s Coming” while you’re running through Lows holding her butt side up, screaming, “Don’t Push” is kinda funny….Ahh memories.

I love The Toddler….Wanting to help me clean the coffee table, she grabbed a dish towel, soaked it with the dog bowl water, and cleaned my table… She finished with a prideful, “Here you go mommy”…Mmm, thank you Duchess. Later, thinking my kitchen floor needed mopping, she took another towel, dunked IT into the dog bowl water (Poor Tuck), and on her hands and knees, cleaned my hardwood floors….”Here you go mommy, I cleaned it”…Mmm, thank you Duchess….I think she may be the one who polished the toilet with furniture spray…Ya know, when I awaken to days like this, I remember that tomorrow, she’ll be grown and married. NO THANK YOU. Ya wanna really live? Tickle a toddler, then listen to them laugh. Read them a book, let them tell YOU the story….or just watch them mop your floor…with dog bowl water…I swear to you, time is NOT kind…to a mommy. Okay, gotta go. The Toddler is still in bed, AND I may just shower and void alone. Wait! Some day, I’ll walk around alone with only the memories of their childhood to keep me company. That makes me sad. I may just go wake her up…right now. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Sunday.

 

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Cinderella Zombie Killer

Countess, Duchess, Princess...Mommy Proud
Countess, Duchess, Princess…Mommy Proud

In the MVP house, Merrill and I…well ME….It’s me, me, me…I find myself frustrated and at my wit’s end about how to solve a problem like Duchess. The older she gets, the more I’m convinced she just needs a zombie or two to kill. Talking to a friend last night at church, I mentioned that Duchess is stubborn, strong-willed, opinionated, and all around hostile to any viewpoint not of her own…..Ohhhhh….No, It can’t be ME….I don’t like Zombies…..”Cinderella Zombie Killer”…I really should punch HIM in the face for not telling me I was acting like that.

Medical Science, can make my boobs bigger, replace my liver with farver beans, and give me a penis if I wanted, but to date, it cannot clone Zombies. That’s too bad. What I need to do is take a good long look at what it takes to motivate, that is REACH Duchess, on her level. If I accepted the Null Hypothesis that her apple is from my tree then I would know how to reach her…right? Instead, as I do not like Zombies, and she doesn’t listen to me, I must reject the Null Hypothesis, in favor of the Alternative, that is she’s like HIM, because as I have stated, I do not believe she to be ANYTHING like me…I was not a brat. Look at it this way, the man who snags her, must indeed have The Force STRONG with him because Duchess, does whatever the FREAK she wants….I do not give Merrill trouble. I accepted a long time ago that he was HOH…that is HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD….I accept…I YIELD….to his authority….He has not issues with me….His authority is absolute….so…

She wants to be a Princess….she’ll tolerate Duchess. We’ve bought her these beautiful Princess dresses. She wore a Cinderella dress to Walmart one day, she was adorable, and the public told her so….but…she went Ranger Batt on us (hooah) when she saw a puddle of mud (Airborne friends, Airborne). She likes to garden with her daddy, punch the cat, eat chicken nuggets, BURP (that was my tummy), FART (that was my BUTT), fish, hook the worms, carry frogs in her pocket, get dirty, wear boots…wash the table with the dog bowl water…and call a strangers fat….if it’s forbidden, dirty or just downright disgusting…she’s your girl. She’ll walk up to her brother and ask, “Wanna fight?” then punch him first, just to get the party started right. She has no fear, her language would make the devil blush, she’ll stand up to anybody, and every one….Damn there is again…..Ohhhhh. I suppose….In retrospect….she might be, a little bit, like ME, but I do respect Merrill’s AUTHORITY…and I’m not a diva….#justsaying. My Cinderella Zombie Killer….God is Good. Okay gotta go. Tomorrow’s status, “Sweetness, I love him, but I hate his father”. Never a dull, boring, peaceful moment in this house…seriously, if you know of a few zombies lying around that she could practice killing. That’d be great. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With you Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Thursday.

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