Tag: #writerslife

Your Very Best

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Did the darkness beg for Mercy when you rolled away the stone?” Lyrics to a song I heard this morning. I had to share it.

God didn’t send down his second best. He didn’t say ‘Hey Gabe’ you go down there. He sent His own son, His very best, to save your soul“. Pastor’s message….

Are you giving Your Very Best?


I hate reading my old columns. I mean, I was so STUPID! How did any of you, save for just being my friends, every tolerate such crap from me? Anyone who participates in a creative process, is never quite satisfied with their work, and I’m not alone in that. From Hollywood stars to journalists, from mommies to craft geniuses, no one appreciates the gift of posterity. I guess what I’m saying is that we never quite feel like we’re giving it our very best….and while I’m glad God doesn’t feel that way, understand that in each of us, rests perfection. If you didn’t do your best, people notice. Your Very Best….LOL, who gets to decide that anyway?

I was talking with another mom the other day, and the subject of “Mom Guilt” came up. Mom Guilt is a real thing, and it’s a real thing because as parents, we never quite feel like we’ve done right by our kids….but that’s an illusion. Maybe it’s my old age, I don’t know, but I look back in my past and realize in many instances, I did, the best I could and besides what does total contentment look like anyway? I mean, whose yard stick are we using to measure up our own personal achievements? We’re using the Smith and Jones that’s who, and the danger in that is that they’re just as screwed up as we are…..I giggle when I think that some of you look up to me, because you have to know that I don’t have it figured out any more than you do…and I’m not even trying to cover it up…..I think that’s why I’m so honest and brutal. I don’t want you thinking I’m better. I’ve had the life where I looked up to the “Beautiful People” and the one thing I learned from my idealization of their lives is this…..they have their own issues….issues you’d never want to have…..Hell, they may even be envying you….and that’s #truth.

I advised the other mother, “If at the end of the day, you can admit that you’ve done nothing wrong then the guilt you feel is not deserved”. I’ve spent the last few months sitting at a park bench by myself, while waiting for Sweetness to get out of school. One day last week a woman came over to me and asked if she could sit with me. I knew of her, and even dubbed her one of the “Ladies who lunch“. Every day, they’d sit at their table and look down at the others in the park….but this day, because my bench was in the shade, she wanted to sit with me, and as she did so, she confided in me that her husband was at home sick with AFib, the dreaded heart disease that robs spouses of their partners everyday. She was tired, weak, and at the end of her rope. I told her, I knew her pain….not only as a home care nurse, but also as a spouse taking care of a spouse with VFib….we connected. The next day, she and all her “ladies” sat at my bench…..LOL, guess I’m in….but my point is, I held her in contempt….because I thought, she thought, she was better than I…..I now realize she doesn’t, nor did she ever, feel that way.

Your Very Best….at the end of the day, complete contentment comes in knowing that you did all you could do, to make a project successful. Whether that’s making a new confident, doing your job, (sigh) writing your column, making a movie, or just being a parent; which honestly, is the hardest job in the world! If cleanliness is next to Godliness, then contentment is as close to God as you’re going to get with a clean house, but the devil knows this, and will do all within his power, to keep you restless, and dissatisfied with your person. Only YOU can judge whether you did a good job, only YOU should measure up against YOU, and only YOU should know that by doing your best….in any function….is what others admire. Bemoaning the fact that my readership was down, Merrill said to me, “I thought you didn’t care”, and he was right….I had started to compare myself with the Greats in this business, and in doing that, I began to hate, that which I loved. This isn’t a column meant to make you feel touchy feely about the Lord, this is about your inner Peace, and asking yourself, “Did I do anything wrong, and could I have done better?“….If your answer is, “NO“….then no need to doubt your creation…..Remember this, above all things, if I can be successful writing tripe, you too can do all things, and be better than I ever was….and that’s a stone cold promise. Your Very Best….God gave to you, so you could give to others, and honestly, He will bless your WORKS…..He will, like the Godfather, remember all you did in His Name. Don’t let the devil steal your joy….you are just as good as Smith and Jones….you are special, worthy, and loved….and getting in a pissing contest against others, will never see you the victor. Now, get out there and create….do YOU….be the best someone, and do your best for someone, that you can….and I’m not saying this because I won the Merrill Bowl today. I’m saying this because I wasted so much time trying to measure up, when I was beautifully measured the whole time….Now, get out there and be YOU. Come on…show me what you got. Be Blessed.











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Love Jesus 1










If YOU don’t talk to your kids about drugs, someone else will” Commercial from the 80’s

Only YOU can prevent forest fires” Smokey the Bear..

YOU had the power within you the whole time” I think, it’s the Never Ending Story, or some cheesy movie I once watched.

YOU do YOU Boo Boo” Kevin Hart.

Only YOU, can be YOU.

Have you ever felt like it’s just one of those lives? Ya know the one, where nothing works out the way it’s supposed to? Yeah, well…me too. This whole Nursing License has been one cluster after another, and honestly, I thinks it’s worse than the school itself. All the requirements that California has, combined with all the requirements that Illinois doesn’t have, you’d think that the Left Coast doesn’t trust the Midwest when it comes to educating their students, and while there may be some truth in that, there has to be some middle ground. You….the power to achieve fame, fortune, success and failure all rests within your hands….but it’s hard to see that, when all you’re doing is banging your head against the wall.

Calling me after I emailed a copy of my BLS Red Cross certification, the District RN asked if I had taken my First Aid/CPR course on-line. “No” I began, “I was there in person. It’s just that Illinois wanted to save a tree”….silence….”Perhaps you can come in and do a skills check” she suggested. In the end,  I was able to convince her, that I had indeed had hands-on experience in the field in which I Repped. My goodness, I’ve run CODES in the back of an Ambulance. I’ve assisted on Cardiac emergencies, almost had a baby shot out at me, and please, do I have to even get into how many times, I’ve patched up the kiddo’s because they told someone to, “Hold my Kool-aid and watch this“?, So yeah, I’ve got some experience….but lets be honest, that’s not what’s bugging me right now.

I got proverbially screwed moving out here. Not being able to go back to school, not being able to work right away, I’ve had to read the glorious stories of my classmates creating and developing Care Plans, Case Studies, Clinicals….I was with them…I was one of them last year. The weather has turned slightly cool here. The leaves are falling gently from the trees, the breeze is enough to make me pull out my oversized sweatshirts. Soon, I’ll pull out the moon boots you all hate, and then, I’ll be drinking hot chocolate by the fire…I’ll be passing out Halloween candy to all the little creative tykes on the block, I’ll be roasting the roasts for Italian Beef, and then, it will be time for the Festival of Trees. That fabulous event that took me two decades to score tickets too….The Princess Tea balls, Mayor His Majesty reading to the children in the center of the Civic Center, and I….won’t be there for any of it…Sigh. I have to take a step back, and remember my vows. The one that specifically promised that I would stick with him through thick and thin, richer and poorer, sickness and health. I have to remember that anything that happens here….is strictly my choice.

When life hands you a raw deal, it’s nothing personal. Our lives are a growth chart. A way of testing us, to see if we’ve retained all the information we learned. I think the point of this very long-winded column, is that my happiness (your happiness as well), relies on your, mine, and our ability to make the most of any situation we find ourselves in….so things don’t always work out….so what? The trick is maybe, just maybe, being flexible enough to wait out the bad parts, and rejoice when the good happens. No one person can make YOU happy. Ohers help, but in the end, as we stand before our Creator, the question will be, “What have YOU done, to make the world a better place?” and by golly if you try to come up with an excuse like, “The alarm didn’t wake me up in time“, you’ll be in some trouble. So, really YOU… had/have the power to make your life amazing. I gotta tell ya, I have almost everything I’ve ever wanted, and then some…so reading about the lives of friends I no longer live around, the galas I won’t attend, the Festivals that will go on without me, should not make me sad, but happy…mostly because I made amazing memories there…..and that’s okay. So my license will be in soon….I’m going through school nurse orientation tomorrow….Gala tickets, for Sweetness’s school district, go on sale in 30 minutes, and Merrill’s plane landed safely. I’d say, I’m winning….even if it feels like I’m losing sometimes. YOU….only YOU can do you…..Only YOU can be the Rock star God intended, and by golly, only YOU can make YOU happy. Guess I’ll take it and make it mine….make your life yours..as well. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Wednesday….I have some Gala tickets to buy. Wish me luck.



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Raising a strong woman!


The following is an actual conversation that took place at 4pm PST today.

Beemer man: Can I help?

Me: I’m just waiting on the cap to cool so I can put some anti-freeze in. My car overheated.

Beemer Man: Do you know what you’re doing?

Me: Sure, thank you. It’s happened before, but I think I have a leak this time, so I’ll just try to get home.

Beemer Man: (clearly conflicted on what to do here)…Um, can I stick around, just in case?

Me: (Smiling) Sure….

Now at this point, he does help get the cap off, because my hands don’t work well…I pour the anti-freeze in….he waits. I start the car, pull it out to check for leaks. There is one….

Me: Well, it’ll get me home. I’ll go to Autozone for some repair tools….

Beemer Man: That is so refreshing. You’re not from around here….

Me: No sir, but I really appreciate you. Thank you. You take care of yourself….

Feminism….Ladies, be honest. Sometimes it’s US that has the agenda.

You can’t be a living being today, and not be aware of the Feminist movement sweeping the nation, and while I won’t comment on all the nuances involved, I do want to take a moment and defend men. Little Sisters, we have enough BOYS in this society. The ones who just make a bunch of babies, brag on it, then never support them, OR the ones who are perfectly happy lounging around while we do all the work….Commenting back and forth on my status (I posted this on my Timeline), I had made the distinction between actual sexism, per se, and a man, just trying to do the right thing. This situation, reminds of an ongoing debate Merrill and I have about asking for help. “You know, it’s okay to ask for, and accept help” but “help” is a weakness to me! My momma taught me that! Feminism…I don’t think it means, what you think it means.

I don’t like Caitlyn Jenner, but not because I have some strong hatred for all things transgender. No, I don’t like Caitlyn Jenner because she’s stood on the shoulders of great women, and stole, what rightly belonged to others. You don’t get to be a man all of your life, then come in, and pretend you know all there is to know about woman. Women have been greatly disenfranchised for thousands of years. We’ve been bought and sold like property, relegated to the regions that even dogs didn’t have to lie, beaten, abused, raped, assaulted (without intervention mind you), and it took a Constitutional Amendment to give us the right to vote, so really, women haven’t always had the power we enjoy today. I remember visiting a dealership one beautiful Saturday afternoon, and having the Salesman tell me, “Tell ya what. Why don’t you go get your husband and come back? Then we can talk about a car for you.” Screw him! So Caitlyn Jenner doesn’t get to come in, and claim have all we’ve fought for and rightly deserve. With that said..










I’m not ashamed to admit that there have been times when I’ve used my wiles to attract the attention of a man for my own selfish gain. I’m a cute woman…LOL, a fact I’ve used to exploit the weaker sex many times. Sanchez and I used to go to the club without a dime between us, because we knew, that drinks would flow aplenty once the guys saw us. I mean you don’t get to show your boobs then get mad when a man looks at them, and while I did digress, it does bring up a good point. It is OKAY for a man to help us. Now, if I’m trying to open a pickle jar, and Merrill comes up and takes it away from me, then yes, I’ll get a case of the ass, but if he offers because he wants to help, there’s no shame in saying, “Yes please” and while I’m still working on my “weakness” issue, I am getting better at being gracious. I’m afraid that the Little sisters of the world today, and many of the men that follow them, think that a man offering his help, is a sign that the man perceives her as weak. He does not. He simply wants to help….We do have issues to iron out. We need to discuss abortion, assaults and the subsequent light sentences that go with that, the touches, the promotions, the equality, but the one thing, we as women need to leave completely alone is this ideal that a man is being sexist. I mean, some ARE, but…I just think his momma taught him right, and for the record, my Princess knows how to change a tire, and her Anti-Freeze as well…that’s cause her DADDY taught her right. Feminism.…we don’t need to be such rude ass bitches to every well intentioned man who tries to make sure we’re okay. Don’t muddy the waters by trying to make a mess out of a non-issue. Unless of course it’s Caitlyn Jenner, and then I would leave her on the side of the road. She doesn’t have the mammaries to call herself a woman just yet. Let her get some hair on her boobs, before she tries to come in, and teach the youngsters how to be strong….I don’t care if you don’t like that, I don’t like her. Feminism does have it’s place, but not as a pink whoha hat on the head of an obnoxious woman, who probably hasn’t been laid for a decade….Feminism is that beautiful aura a woman has when she’s confident in her own abilities….Men like confidence….Gotta go….tomorrow is a special day in history…and I gotta get my rest. Right after I get Merrill to fix my radiator hose. Come on….you didn’t really think I’d do it…did you? Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Friday.


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Can You Help Me?









Hey, can you put a link in my website?” Ronnie to her Web Developer

3 hrs later

Never mind. I got it!

And I did GET it! Go ME!

No longer living in Danville, means I can’t just use my “call a friend” feature and get help whenever I need it. It’s no big secret that anything technological confuses and frustrates me, but I’m on my own now….I have to learn how to do it. I’ve always been an advocate of learning the ropes. I mean, you can hire, or ask for help, but in the end, no matter what you do with your life, your success is up to you because it’s your butt in the sling should the sh*t hit the fan. Can You Help Me? Sure….but only if you’re willing to learn how to do it yourself.

My son has authored two articles on this page, but he wanted me to write them. “No” I told him. “I can help you edit, and proof read, but I’m not writing it for you” and so he sat down, in long-hand wrote his own columns why he thought his superhero choices belonged in his top-ten list. As his mother I wrote the preface to his columns demanding respect. I mean, you don’t have to agree with his thoughts, but the chat rooms are filled with those who’d like nothing better than to tear you up and spit out those whose opinions on superhero’s differs from theirs. I don’t get it, but I’ve read it. It took my son several days to write out this thoughts, then when completed, I published it for him…but he did the work….he’s the one who had to defend his choices…pass or fail, his columns were on him. Here’s my point…..

I sat for 3 hrs this morning and went through YouTube videos, I Googled Meta inserts, I went into chat rooms, and I poured through page after page on how to sneak in a verification link for my webpage, but here’s the thing, I eventually learned how to do it. I had to….Dooney and Bourke wants to check our your page, before they let you Rep them….I get it, because I’m starting to learn the process of becoming a luxury brand affiliate, and in order to be the best I can be, I have to learn the ropes, much like I had to learn how to write and market my columns….much like I am going to have learn how to be my own Tech Support and trouble shooter. Can You Help Me? I can…there’s a lot of things I know…but you have to come correct and be willing to do the work…..because in the end, you are responsible for your own success…..the buck stops with YOU! It’s taken me years to create and develop the following I have…When I write, “If you want what I have, you gotta do what I do“…..I’m telling you that I’ll give you a hand up, but I won’t give you a hand out…and I hope all you fledgling soon-to-be-famous writers out there understand this. So, I gotta go. It’s as hot as BALLS out here, and I need to go unpack a few more boxes. Geesh, will this ever end? Anyone want to come help me? I’ve already started it…I just need someone to finish it…LOL. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. Be KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Friday.



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I Owe Her This

Love Jesus 1









I guess I owe her this“….Ronnie to Ronnie

You really shouldn’t do this….” Merrill


I stopped apologizing for my column long ago. That’s it, end of story. If you don’t like my columns, you can debate, I’m cool with that, but really, they are my opinions, and my opinion is what matters the most here…What do you want? I am never going to make everybody happy, I am never going to please the masses, so in the end, I figured as long as I am “To thy ownself be true” I know I can sleep at night. With that said, I don’t ALWAYS go out of my way to hurt people’s feelings, and the irony is that if I do hurt someone’s feelings, it’s done without my intent. Earlier this week, there was a major player in some drama involving my family. Someone read a column, and instead of maybe emailing (oh I don’t know) ME…went to someone I love dearly, and hurt her. Just let it be known, if you hurt my family, you hurt me…and if you hurt me….well, my Reckoning is a little harsher than most. I Owe Her This…ya know mom….the older I get, the more I realized just how hard things were for you, but I don’t always talk about it…

I’ve always talked about my grandmother, which has made some wonder if I even had a mom. I did. But understand that she was left, high and dry with 4 FREAKING kids…the man literally went to the store…TWICE….Sometimes, when Merrill is out-of-town, and I have just two kids (although one is the value of two-just saying) I start to resent Merrill for leaving me and forcing me to take care of his spawn, but seriously, that’s what moms do right? WE had the babies, we take care of them…and so it came to pass, that my mom, left TWICE (by the same man) had to travel and move several times…mostly in the middle of the night (LOL), because she had 4 mouths….4 little baby birds in the nest to take care of….I didn’t realize how devastatingly hard that was. Grandma was there more than my mother. This is TRUTH….Mom had to work, all the time, she didn’t have the college education back then, that she has now (Masters in History-What?What?), she was over worked, and overwhelmed….and so yes, a huge chunk of my childhood, the formidable years, were without my mom present….it’s our truth…it was my reality….And so….

Merrill asked me, as we were discussing my being pissed off at the gossip, “Well do you have a good memory to share of your mom?”….Yeah…I do. We were traveling back to Oklahoma, or was it from Oklahoma? (I never can remember)…..but it was dark, and I was in the front seat, while my 3 siblings were in the back sleeping….We were in Tulsa, and there was a cloud in the sky…. I remember it, because it had lightening coming out of it…not air to ground lightning, but like this flashing light, that I would later come to know as “Heat lightening”….fascinated….I watched this cloud until I became drowsy, and laid my head down on my mom’s lap….she was driving…she must have thought I had went to sleep, because she scratched my head and said out loud, “You are going to be so beautiful and special one day“…and so it was WRITTEN, so shall it be DONE….it was special moment….I’ve carried that in my pocket ever since…..there were the talks, the trips, the special moments growing up, and just because I’m not inspired to share those stories, doesn’t mean my mother was gone. See, this is the reason famous people get counseling….always someone, somewhere wanting to start mess….

Look friends, I’ve said from day one, there are stories, although my right to tell, I cannot and will not, because as long as certain people are living, I will not disrespect them….It’s my way of protecting those I love, because if you judged them, I’d kill you…in public. And so, to the person that hurt my mother, by asking if she was even EVER involved in my life, know that she was…when she could be. I know that she loved us, she cared for us, but to be single with 4 kids is a special kind of bat sh*t crazy…and I really can’t be mad at many of her decisions. So, I Owe Her This.….I’m no longer bitter about many things that did or did not happen, because I’m Freaking Veronica Philips, and everything that happened made me ME….I have an amazing adult relationship with my mother…. she’s my mom….and I still have her….even if….I’m like her…UGH! Seriously, if you have questions….ask me….don’t upset my mom…or anyone in my family. I’m like the Godfather….I won’t be kind to you…and I DGAF how certain people are responding to this right now…..do not try to make me apologize for my columns….and do not harass my family….Geesh, this is why I have code names for all of them….Going to San Francisco….Have a great day…Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE The Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Saturday.

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Writers Block










Hmmmm“….A very frustrated Ronnie


Back in 2013, I wrote about a pair of Gucci shoes I found nestled in-between a pair of snow boots, and regular tennis shoes. I was at the Goodwill, and my keen eye spotted the gems, when all others didn’t. I was excited they were a size 7, and purchased them post-haste. The Goodwill is a little more hip on their treasures now, but the point I made was that sometimes the things you seek are right in front of you, and you simply must remove the distractions that blind your vision. That was a long time ago, and while I’ve evolved, some things have remained the same….like Writers Block. The bane of every Writer….it occurs when some blockage wedges itself in our brain. We can quit while we’re ahead, or forage through, until we address the issue blocking our path….Writers Block.…How Much Time….Is Too Much Time…

It isn’t that I haven’t had the experiences to write about. Quite the contrary…but I think the stress of Nursing School has pretty much sucked the joy out of anything I cared about, so that I’m left with nothing but a bunch of notes, written in my brain, that I’ve forgotten the punchline too. This is where I sit….torn between two lovers…Daily Affirmations has been my baby for 4 years….I’ve written it through that am chaos that takes place before the bus…I love it but maybe it’s time to pasture it….that’s what life does…in handing us  lemons, it also gives us Cherry Pepsi…so we can either take the time to make the delicious drink we love, or we can just pop the tab and move on…..

My best friend was in relationship with this guy….he had told her from the very beginning that he wasn’t interested in anything else but a good time. She knew the risks going in…but still he never cheated on her….he was good to her…the relationship lasted years…one day, frustrated with his lack of movement she asked him if he was ever going to marry her, “Don’t I make you happy?” he said, “Didn’t I tell you I didn’t want marriage?” and like that she had to choose between the man she had put so much time into…and her freedom to pursue someone who would marry her. When we know the risks going in, does it justify our frustrations when it doesn’t work out? How much time, is too much time? I think….in relationships and life, as long as you’re happy, both parties are happy, no one is getting hurt, and the parameters are clearly defined….it should be okay….but Writers Block, this little wedge in my brain, tells me that everything is NOT okay….The great blessing in life….is we get to chose our path. So, are you happy…truly happy and content, OR are you frustrated with your lack of progress? I’m not sure where I am…but I don’t like it here…Writers Block….it’s frustrating. Gotta go. It’s good to be back…I had a great time at The Derby…a dream come true….now I can scratch that off the list…and figure out what choices to make next….It’s good to be free for a while. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Monday.

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This Too Shall Pass

The Kids of Veronica Philips
The Kids of Veronica Philips

“Look at him, all peaceful. Sleeping like a husband. I HATE him”. Ronnie on one of the many occasions she got up with the babies during the night.

I bragged in Social Psychology that if there was a mistake to be made in life I made it. It’s not braggart, and it isn’t meant to glorify anything I’ve done…it just IS. My resume/experience includes: The pregnant 18 yr old, the 10 month morning sickness, giving birth in a foreign country, the colic, the sleepless nights, crying with the baby whose stomach hurt, the single mother, 1st husband, partied too much, fell in love, married a 2nd time, moved across country for love, had the power, water, heat cut off…bounced checks, was arrested (Twice),  had surgical emergencies with not one, but two babies, went back to school, had a 2nd baby when the first was a senior in high school, suffered from PPD after said baby, was terminated from her job because of PPD, had a 3rd baby at 42, had a baby almost die, became a writer, started a blog, gained fans, made mistakes….earned an Associates Degree….Yep, I’ve done it….so when I tell a Little Sister, “This too shall pass”…I know what I’m talking about….do you?

My newest book project…I’m so excited…..”This Too Shall Pass”  Are you far enough up the road, that you can look back and help a little brother or sister whose struggling? Was there something about your experiences that you could share with the entire world? We are seeking parents of children whom are now older, but had some difficulty as babies….Ages Infant thru 5…. If your story is chosen to be included in the book, you will receive compensation and writers credit. The best part, you don’t have to be an experienced writer…you just had to have had an experience that you overcame….So…

This Too Shall Pass….Can you share your nefarious mess with me? If the book goes NY Times Best Seller (A girl can dream), everyone in the world will know whom you are…..and what you overcame….of course, you can remain anonymous…but I need your name to confirm authorship. So, I need your children and your story for this amazing project that I’m totally excited about. Just be you, I’ll fix your comma’s, sentences, and periods…..lets work together to be the the Light that helps a young parent get through the night. Send me a PM on FB, or DM on Twitter for more information….This Too Shall Pass…..it does….and it will. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. Be KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those whom cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Wednesday.



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Blood Flow Beauty

Cheaper than dye.
Cheaper than dye.

“Ewww”. Landon Ruble, 6th Grade, when he found out Veronica Philips had a crush on him….suck it Landon…How ya LIKE me NOW! My Beauty flows like Blood….Blood Flow Beauty…. Today on VP.com

If we all had red hair and green eyes, it would be a beautiful world, but then again, there’d be NOTHING special about me, and yes, it IS all about ME. At the Valentines Day Party two decades ago, had I had any other  hair color but red, I would not be Ms. Funky Brain Merrill right now. I mean, he’d have talked to me and all, (he was a DOG) but he wouldn’t have put a ring on it. That’s because he likes redheads with attitudes…the man has a death wish. I’m annoyed that we live in a society in which what you see is not what you get. I post selfies and will never achieve the level perfection I see in Glamour Magazine, but then again, I don’t want Glamour perfection, I want YOUR respect…..So it does beg the question, What’s Wrong With You? NOTHING…there is absolutely nothing wrong with you….do not give them the satisfaction of taking your money.

I don’t have “The Look”. I can try 15 different ways from Sunday to have the Sultry mouth open, sexual gaze, sweat just hitting the top lip look, and I end up looking like a moron with a mouth issue…. The largest demographic in the publishing industry is the self-help crowd. Publishing loves those so desperate to feel and LOOK like everyone else, that they’ll pay $19.95 for a book that tells them how to feel and look like everyone else. Don’t do that…Hell, I tell you all every DAMNED day, that you’re beautiful, and I’ve yet to see a dime. Put a little airbrush on me, I can be perfect too, but I don’t want to be perfect, I want to wake up with a song in my freaking heart while looking into the face of a man whom thinks I’m sexy (after he brushes his teeth). When you’re happy within your own skin, your beauty will come out, like salty sweat…. Eat right, get sleep, have lots and lots and LOTS of MARTIAL SEX with the man you’re in love with (Disclaimer: Love is not required, marriage is J/S)…. and your beauty will flow……like blood……Blood Flow Beauty? I like it. That will be $20.00 please.

Who are we’re trying to attract anyway…….Prince Harry? Hell if I couldn’t get him, you won’t be able to either…I’m just saying. I wrestle with the self-image Light Monster too, but then remember, you don’t want perfection, you want honesty. You want someone who’ll look at you and say, “I don’t care if it’s a Louis Vuitton Original, the stripes make you look ridiclous”. Men want an equal, not a high-maintenance train wreck, and frankly, we control that track…don’t we? If you WANT to make some positive changes in your life I can’t deny you that. I work out, and I “touch up” a few flaws….but I don’t do it to be beautiful, I do it, because I WANT TO….Listen Little Sisters, throw away the self-help NOVELS, save yourself $20, and know you are beautiful. Men want what’s on the inside….your personality…and frankly, you should be leaving men alone, until you can make yourself happy. New rule, don’t give a crap about what men think…You do YOU. Please, don’t raise another generation of baby girls to chase a goal impossible to achieve…Many Princesses (and Countesses) are quite happy…without Charming telling them what to do. Empower our babies to KNOW that they are perfect the way they are……Empower them to ignore what society wants… Empower them to just be happy. Blood Flow Beauty…we can’t all be redheads, but we can all have attitudes…..I take Credit Cards….Be Blessed Today. I love you, the way you are.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other today. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path. With your Daily Affirmations complete (Good Night), enjoy your Thursday.


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It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Gotta Do The Work...Yourself.
Gotta Do The Work…Yourself.

I’ve chosen this meme, because the thought of meeting him one day, motivates me. Well, Merrill motivates me too, but you know that. I’m just saying.

I’m amused to see a pack (herd?) of deer in the unplowed field across the street, and the sight of them grazing upon the long forgotten corn stalks holds my attention longer than I meant to stare. It’s cold outside. “I like being a human with heat” I think to myself as Merrill tries to keep up with Shawn T, but a lot of good heat does me because, when he’s working out, I’m not allowed to turn it on. I am, however, allowed to stare at his sexy ass, as his booty is mid-air trying to hold some medieval plank. Why am I still here, after two decades? I don’t know…some things like PB&J are just meant to be…It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time in The MVP Hizzhouse…

But even PB&J’s take work. You gotta get the bread out, put BP on one side, Jelly on the other, put the two pieces of bread together, then ONLY after you get a glass of cold full-fat milk, can you eat it. Some have tried to woo me with the already made PB&J in the jar, but they ain’t good..taste like cat food….only the real deal works, and only after you’ve carefully chosen the perfect two slices of bread, from the middle of the loaf….can you make it work. We say goodbye to The Guardians next week…did you know they’ve been with us…all year? I can’t even tell you how or why…we started that, but after next week’s Finale; which is going to be HUGE, we’ll be done, and no, I don’t know if we’re bringing them back next Fall…I’ve read my earlier works..I was TERRIBLE…I had no idea what I was doing. Makes me shiver with embarrassment. I’ve been teaching Kickboxing 3yrs….3 FREAKING, sometimes suck ass years….and of course we have Chocolate Milk. The glass, the powder, the spoon…LOL…you know me…we ain’t talking about the drink….But THAT takes work….too!

There was a young, upstart on Twitter asking anyone who’d respond, “So how do I break in? What’s the secret to getting people to read me? Blah, blah, blah”. Listen kid, I’ll help ANYONE be Nefarious, but come correct. If all you want is answers, that is, the already made PB&J, then I’m not helping you. I mean, if I make the sandwich FOR YOU, I’m going to eat it…for you. It’s taken me 3 years to find my Clip, and even then, I’m still learning….besides, no one can prepare you for THE Rejection…it’s all trial and error..your trial and error, but the fire..the fire, is what refines you. I wasn’t prepared for what would happen the day I punched that guy in the face, but after The Fire, came, “Don’t Judge Me”, so see, somethings we can’t do for you. I can’t lose the weight for you, I can’t make the sandwich for you, I can’t do your projects for you, and I can’t have the Chocolate Milk for you, although if you figure that out, Merrill’s got some money for you. Okay, gotta go. Merrill is sweaty, and trying to get some am loving. “You know you want it”….Um, NO…no I don’t. He does have a great ass, but it’s wet…..I think I’ve stayed with him because once the sandwich is made, and the milk is poured, one really has to finish…what one started. Besides, a little bit of his PB…will always be on my J…and I don’t care how you interpret that. It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time…now you’ll have that song in your head….all day. You’re Welcome. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, Hmm, that’s an interesting Guardian…..Enjoy your Monday.

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I Am Nefarious???
I Am Nefarious???

They say if you throw a bunch of spaghetti on the wall, some of it will stick. That’s true of writing too, only without the PO’d housewife wondering what the hell is wrong with you for throwing spaghetti on the wall.  I was ASKED, at The Kiddie Pool, what it was that made me “me”. We were talking about sex in class, but not the John Holmes kind of sex, the “How do you reward your husband for always agreeing with you” kind of sex…I wouldn’t know, he never agrees with me. I digressed. After class, the Professor said to me, “I’d love to know what makes you “you”” to wit others in class said, “Us too”.  I was honored to be the Actor’s Guild Interviewee, but some of my more obnoxious traits come out of a place of great pain…and must not be revealed, but if you want to be Nefarious…I’ll help you just don’t expect some big bang, touchy feely break through…. Some of my secrets I really must take to the grave with me.

Accept two truths to your craft. 1. You are not Lana Turner, the actress whom was discovered at a soda fountain on Hollywood Blvd, NOR, will you be her. There are a 100 million others, like you, whom want the Nefarious life. Take “get rich” fame out of the equation, be Nefarious for fun, and you are going to do well. I have followers on Twitter…NY Times Best Sellers followers…because I’m Nefarious…I think. 2. Don’t vomit all your nastiness upon our feet. I still believe that over 1/2 of us need real Psycho Therapy, so your mess is going to pale in comparison. What you can do, is take all that crap, roll it up, and file it. It will come out, make it your ART, your craft…your joy and your pain….when the time is right, it will come…in a story, a song, a poem, a character….We will weep, laugh, rail and gnash our teeth…with you.

Finally understand that I just aged well, like wine. My professor observed, “You don’t yield…you don’t submit” and he’s right…but experience, my personal pain, earned me that trait….Writing, or any craft, is about not submitting to failure. It’s about taking your pain, and making it your bit*ch, anyone offended by that…sorry, but I refuse to compromise my baby, “Daily Affirmations” to anyone who could be offended by my experiences. If you want to be Nefarious then ditch The Fear of Failure…Stand up and be bold…not everyone is going to like you, but the ones that do, will be loyal to you….like spaghetti….some will stick…some will not…the ones that do, are done! (mic drop). Okay…I told the class about myself, and was puzzled that they wanted to hear what I had to say about my life. I guess the 3rd rule to being Nefarious is….don’t question the random gifts…of fame 🙂 Okay…but….I do realize that Ronnie was pretty entertaining as a speaker….Jen….I think we found something here. Be Blessed.

Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Wednesday.


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